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I made a mistake, will it change my life forever?

I was never the happiest person but I was at least comfortable in my own skin before this experience. Long story short a few weeks ago I was convinced by some friends to take shrooms (my first and only experience with psychedelic drugs) and had a very bad time largely centred on feeling out of control mentally. After a ropey day of recovery the day after, I seemed to have put it behind me, but a couple weeks after I had what I've been told was an anxiety attack (the only one I'd ever had) in a cinema, and have been battling constant anxiety ever since. The symptoms have been very dynamic. The first few days I experienced severe derealisation/depersonalisation, and I've had a host of other physical symptoms including chest pains and body numbness. I've just started medical treatment have being prescribed citalopram on a low dose (10mg) a few days ago, and the physical symptoms (now that the side effects have subsided) appear to be on the decline. Mentally, though I still feel totally detached and different. I try to he rational and know that currently negative thinking is what I'm geared for, but I feel like a totally different person now. I don't feel comfortable in my body and the world looks different. I want to believe that I will feel "normal" again eventually but I find it difficult to see past this constant state of anxiety and altered outlook. Will I have to just learn to accept I'm different now? Thanks for your help.
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Avatar universal
I know what you mean about feeling uncomfortable in your body! I have never taken drugs but I do have derealization and depersonalization due to extreme anxiety and stress. The world looks/ feels different to me now and I feel like I have this invincible bubble around me but it feels small like it's smothering me and that makes me feel weird in my own skin!
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Avatar universal
ya me to I feel that same way wow I am not alone in this awful feeling
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Avatar universal
Thanks for the advice paxiled. I have therapy starting in a few weeks, but my doctor suggested the medication because of how distressed I was with physical symptoms, although we were both reluctant at first. I have to say I'm still a bit uneasy with taking them I feel like my mind ticks a lot slower, but I don't know if that's just the anxiety
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Avatar universal
Personally, I wouldn't have rushed to the medication.  You had a rough experience and you are suffering the remnants of it.  I would have tried therapy first to get your bearings back.  I still encourage it -- most likely you've done two things:  triggered something inside you and created a fear from the bad experience.  
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Arlington, VA
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