Don't forget, u can always talk to God.
If you cannot afford to get help, look into local clinics in your area who charge a minimal fee or are free. Just google clinics in your area, and call one. We've spoken before and I know you're having a difficult time, start looking so you can get the help you need. Feel free to PM me again anytime, and take care.
By admitting that you need help, you've already taken the biggest step forward. You should be very proud of yourself. We all know how difficult and scary that can be.
Pick up the phone, call your doctor and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or therapist.
I wish you the very best.