Xanax doesn't stay in the body very long, and different people metabolize different drugs differently. It could be you have never metabolized it. Taking two benzos at the same time can be dangerous, and the fact it never bothered you could be a sign you've never metabolized it. While longer acting than Xanax, Valium is also a rather short acting benzo -- the only long acting one I know of is klonopin. You say you didn't take the Xanax, so as a short-acting drug it could also have been metabolized when you take it but you didn't take it so it might have completely left your system. It could also be a mistake at the lab -- do two tests at two different labs and you'd be surprised at how often you'll get two different results. I mention metabolizing because one of the main reasons different drugs work differently on people is that they metabolize them more or less efficiently. Sometimes liver metabolites won't let you use a drug at all -- it's like drinking water. You just evacuate it. I don't know that you'll ever get a full explanation for this, but as you can see it's quite complicated to manufacture a drug that actually works because the body isn't manufactured by nature to take drugs -- it's manufactured by nature to eat food and get active ingredients that way. Drugs have to be manufactured in a way that tricks the body into keeping what it perceives as "other" and toxic in your body and not excreting it right away to protect you. That's why drugs have so many side effects -- they aren't food. I'd try the test again at a time when you definitely take the Xanax, but the main thing that should be helping you is the Paxil as it works all the time if it's working. It may be it's not working all that well. Also consider that skipping a regularly taken dose of a benzo usually brings about a pretty strong withdrawal and possibly seizures -- it's never a good idea to quit these drugs abruptly or skip doses if you're not taking them as needed because of this (and don't quit Paxil abruptly either -- it can pack a wallop of a withdrawal). Again, I have no idea if this explanation works, but remember, much of what makes medicine work of any kind is partly a placebo reaction -- you believe it's going to work and it does even if you're not absorbing it very well. That could also explain any increased anxiety -- it's either a withdrawal reaction from skipping doses or the placebo effect is working the opposite direction -- you're thinking that not taking it will cause anxiety or that it isn't in your system and that will cause anxiety and so you feel more anxious. That's how our brains work on anxiety.
I did and I asked if there was another test which the lab used the same urine for another test that was supposedly more thorough and that's where they couldn't find trace amounts. I saw the lab results which showed the Valium and how it is metabolized into results showing how the Valium broke down into Oxepam, and two other benzos, which I found interesting since I though Valium was simply Valium and to see that it actually metabolizes into 3 different compounds was interesting but to see Xanax-Negative and then No Trace Amounts has me confused as even if I did miss 2 doses, there should have been something I would think which is why there is a stalemate between me and my doc as due to the results of the tests make it look as if I didn't take it which has now caused doubt with this doctor. I've been diagnosed since 1994 and have NEVER had trust issues and trust is imperative when working with health care providers. That is why I found this site in order to hopefully find answers or at least ideas.
Did you ask the lab and your doctor how this result happened?