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1547031 tn?1296831436

If all the crises have passed, why am I still having anxiety??

OK, so it's been a rough week, but all the crises have passed.  I made it through my daughter's play last night.  Not without anxiety.  It wasn't easy, but I did it.  Then my dang husband wanted to go out to a restaurant afterwards!  Luckily, I was able to veto that idea.  Jeez, wasn't it enough that I went to the play?  How about adding one of my biggest fears to the night too?  No thanks.  But, anyway, my anxiety is still out of control today.  Still.  Relaxation/Meditation not really helping, but I am having a hard time focusing.  I feel like I want to cry, but no tears will come.  My body is shaking.  My stomach is turning and burning.  My breathing feels erratic, my chest tight, my heart skipping beats.  I'm dizzy and hot.  Every time I try to do my school work, every time, this happens,.  I was making real progress, then WHAM!  Now, here I am huddled up in my bed and praying to God for this to pass.  I hate feeling this helpless.  Plus, I've been fighting a lot with my husband this week.  A LOT.  And that I think can trigger some of this too.  I just want to sit down, do my school work, maybe clean the house a little, cook some supper and enjoy the evening with my family.  Anxiety has me chained to this bed.  Whenever I try to read, the words blur and dance and my concentration level is so low right now that if I can make out the words I can't comprehend the meaning.  I know this means I'll have to relearn it if I try to do it now, so I just won't do it now.  My husband says he doesn't think I'm working hard enough at my school work.  Seriously?  I have a 3.9 GPA.  But, he's right, I have been procrastinating a lot this semester due to the anxiety that inevitably occurs every time I try to tackle something.  Yet, every day I still try.  But, of course trying doesn't count for anything.  Why didn't I marry a man who has anxiety?  Who could, just for once, be comforting to me instead of demeaning and belittling?  Why can't I study?  Why can't I eat?  Why? Why? Why?  
11 Responses
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1551963 tn?1302292732
I would imagine it helps better to go walk it off because your burning the extra adrinalin that your body is making. you know that feeling when someone jumps out at you and scares the c r a p out of you and your heart starts racing? Same thing, except with no good reason. I can't see how laying there would do you any good unless it is depression and even then i would suggest going for a walk to get the blood and oxygen flowing and maybe the scenory would help your mood.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Does laying in bed help with the anxiety?  I know it's different for different people.  I absolutely cannot lay down when I'm anxious.  I'm a pacer and it always helps to get up and get going.  I may not enjoy doing anything, but it makes the anxiety go away faster.  Sometimes I just breathe and pace/walk, during an attack.  I don't know why, but it helps to burn some energy.
Helpful - 0
1551963 tn?1302292732
I bet if your husband could, he would do it for you.
Helpful - 0
1551963 tn?1302292732
but i can tell you when you finally have enough, then reach out and grab it by its balls and slap it around like its the big bully on the play ground that just needed a good A S S whoopin'. I truely wish you and your family the best.
Helpful - 0
1551963 tn?1302292732
Think about what you have achieved, not what you haven't. remind yourself of your strength not your weaknesses. Your husband has never experienced anxiety and you need to keep that in mind. imagine if you never had it, which would be awsome, i know, but imagine not knowing what it is and then trying to understand it from the outside looking in. it's not easy to do but yes he should have more compassion and he would if he experienced it but imagine what it would be like if you both had it and how hard that would be to deal with not only your own but his too. You are stronger than you think, you just have to believe and fight through. Personally, i try to view it a little differently now days. I came to the point to where i was going to ball up in a corner and give up or i would fight it to the death. I put aside my fear and faced it head on. I literaly got red faced spitting angry at it and told that demon that i WOULD NOT go down without a fight. I didn't care if or what i looked like to other people in the process. I wanted my life back and i was going after it. I can honestly, without a doubt say that i have finally won. I know that it is scary. i know that it is torture. Believe me when i say, i know what you are going through
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Honey I am the same way scared to leave the house is my problem, Anxiety is rough and it likes to get ya when you least expect it!!! I got out of a very abusive relationship October of last year and I suffer from anxiety still, know it is worse, once you get it, it takes awhile before it will go away, stay strong and dont let it beat you!!
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1492418 tn?1289149263
yeah i wish she would come back on, it helps to have peeps on your side, wish this had live chat
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345079 tn?1299202476
For sure!!!! It is amazing how bonds can be formed online but it happens. It just such a relief to have others who understand and can help pick you up when you fall and cheer you on. Hope to hear from you soon J!!!!
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1492418 tn?1289149263
we are the 3 who can do this together!!!! Its amazing how fond i am becoming of 2 powerful women i have never met!!! we are blessed to have each others support, we can do this!!
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345079 tn?1299202476
You have had a rough week, it would wear hard on anyone let alone someone with anxiety. Dont get upset that you are feeling bad still, its natural that you are still experiencing symptoms. You are still in the flight and fight mode. That will pass, you will again be able to focus your energy to the positive and think of how great you did. You made it through. Dont let this pull you down at all. Talk it out with us if you need, message me, do whatever you think will help. But do not let it get you down. You are fabulous and have done amazing this week.
Helpful - 0
1492418 tn?1289149263
Oh my friend, I hear all of what you are saying but listen when i say this, GET up, do anything even if its just sitting up in your bed for now. Each action will help change your focus, c'mon sister you can do this. I talked to my counselor on the phone very briefly but told him my momentum is slipping. He reminded me this is not anything like easy, this journey we are on, In between challenges we may have to take a while to regroup. While we feel knocked back, we really aren't. Ironically I am having the hot dizzy today too, it has been consuming my mind. I did my workout anyway and that helped some but it is soooo hard to make myself do when i am dizzy, i get that, but just try to do 5 minutes.
I too have husband obsticles, remember the other day? I just tried to be understanding that it is nothing easy for them either. He has come back around and has been very thoughtful since. They know we don't want to live this way but it must be frustrating that they can't really help. Refocus your awareness!!! Don't try to fight the thoughts and worrys, let them float around like clouds while you ground in the now, sights smells, etc. I listened again to that lifehut river of life and often found my thoughts taking over but like she says, gently refocus on your breathing. So today we take a break and let this pass and tomorrow we get up and going again, deal????
Helpful - 0
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