I'm scared...

[JustAGuyLookinForAdvice]

14 year old guy here.

Recently I've been incredibly terrified of growing old, and death. I literally almost never cry, yet whenever I think about this, I cry a river, and feel as hopeless as someone trapped deep beneath the ocean. I've never experienced death. And I've got a long life ahead of me (hopefully), and so does everyone else in my life (hopefully). But it's still all just so overwhelming. I'm not religious, despite living in a Christian household. And I don't believe in a god, or an afterlife of any kind. And as much as I wanna believe in a heaven or a god, I just can't. I haven't lived that great of a life so far, which is primarily, mostly my fault. And I want to live the best life possible (a perfect life, actually), but I've already broken that possibility a crap ton.

Basically. what I'm asking is, what in the world do I do about this? I know I can't control growing old or death, and that there's no point in worrying about uncontrollable things. But it's just so hard. Please help me out.

And my condolences to all who've lost someone in their life. Never give up!

[specialmom]

Do you talk to your parents about your thoughts?  It is not uncommon at your age to have a lot of out of the box thoughts and bit worries.  But if you find you can't function very well, speak to your parents.  You may have existential ocd.  My son who is a teenager has this and it is hard on him.