I have generalized anxiety, managed for years with medication and therapy. But after being harassed in the workplace, I suffered a complete breakdown. This coincided with some minor medical issues: mononucleosis and adult chicken pox. I was 39 at the time and ask for a referral to get a mamogram, since I’m large breasted and I was constantly afraid of breast cancer. The mammogram found two lumps, subsequent biopsy showed them to be perfectly normal, I was told women under 40 have naturally lumpy breast, especially larger. A year later, I was in a very deep depression while I was struggling to overcome my breakdown. I got the courage to go for another checkup and was reprimanded my gynecologist for not returning for another test six months later. I didn’t know I was supposed to. But with my anxiety, any kind of reprimand like that makes me run in the opposite direction. I was in such a bad place when she did that, there was no way I could ever go back to her. My psychiatrist agrees that one should never see a doctor who does not provide comfort. But the problem is, this was four years ago. I haven’t had a physical exam, and I’m now 45, I recognize the symptoms of peri-menopause, and I still have daily anxiety about having cancer, which could now be undiagnosed for years. My father died at 51, from a heart attack, I’m all to aware that I NEED to get a checkup, but the idea of finding a new doctor and someone who can be sensitive to my anxiety is bringing me to tears right now. I’m so scared of getting sick, but can’t imagine explaining why I haven’t been for a checkup in four years, knowing if I detect any judgement at all, I may never be able to go back. I don’t know how to deal with this. Any advice?