Irrational thoughts

[honeydew3]

Hello...

  I have been through alot in the last 4 months and my anxiety came back.  I can handle the symptoms, but it is the thoughts that scare the hell out of me.  In church one day I had a lady say.....  "oh my God, you have been through so much,  I'm glad your so strong because some people wpuld kill themselves"....  Nice....  So then a few days later I was like, "omg.. what if she's right and I break and kill myself"  and so it began.  The stupid obesssive thought.  What if I kill myself?  I cant look at the word suicide..l. or hear of it.. read antidepressant ads with depressive symptoms and the whole "suicide thing"  I have seen 2 therapist and they could careless I have this thought..  They said I am using it as a distraction from "life" and confronting what I need to.  I am NOT capapble of this or NOR want too...  I just want the damn thought all together to disappear but I have been told that is OPPOSITE of what I need to do with it...  except it as a SYMPTOM of anxiety....  it is just a AWFUL FEAR.  Anyone else ever had this irrational fear?  

Thank you.... honeydew

[DJ873]

Hi, I too have this obsessive thought and andesu is right. By accepting and no longer fighting you can do a great deal to relieve yourself. I am very sensitive to words and triggers but am learning to accept that that is really all they are is words. Thoughts all though disturbing, can't hurt us. I had been agoraphobic from fearful thoughts and am just now starting to challenge the knowledge that thoughts can't hurt me, still getting my land legs but feeling more hopeful than i have in a long time.

[andesu]

Hi honeydew3!
I am sorry your anxiety has returned. It is sad that sometimes just a comment can set it off. I have not had that thought (except when I had some depression) but I have had the problem of thoughts in my head that i cannot escape. I do know others who have the suicide thought or the thought that they are really crazy when they have anxiety so I doubt you are alone in this.Sometimes seeing things on TV brings on my anxiety so I think it is natural that you reading the word or hearing it would do that too.

I was also told that I must accept my thoughts because the more I fight them the longer they stay in my head. It is just my way, but what I did was find a calming mantra that I repeat in my head when i feel my anxiety (and now i use it when I have obsessive thoughts) coming on. I try to find a way to take my mind off of any other thoughts and my mantra is used for this and it helps me. My own personal mantra is to repeat the the Lords Prayer and the Ava Maria and concentrate on nothing else. Perhaps you have a calming phrase or thought that you could use. It is just a suggestion. God Bless and good luck...also stay away from the ads..turn the TV to another channel or stop reading when you see one..that is not helping you forget the thought.

Andesu