FRIGHTENED

[JOO98]

PLEASE HELP ME!! I need the opinion of someone professional on this site! I am a 18-years-old girl and since I was 16 I had an anxiety disorder,I was costantly obsessing over psychotic illnesses and going crazy.. I was always in fear. But now I can't tell what's happening, I am no longer scared about psychotic illnesses (maybe because I rationally can tell it would be impossible to me to get one) but now it's like I am obsessing that something may be wrong with ME, with my personality, with my perceiving and my inner self!! Everyone tries to tell me I'm fine and that I'm just anxious but I can't shake that feeling. Often I obsess and feel like no matter how hard I try to be open and tell what's inside,I feel like there's something about me that is dark and wrong and no one knows!! This drives me ABSOLUTELY FRIGHTENED!! Because it's not a feeling you get from intrusive thoughts, I feel like I am truly weird because I always have been self-centered and daydreaming, like I was not interested in what was going on around me and with ppl around me.. I even fear I don't truly care about my loved ones and I obsess thinking that even If I cry or have happy times with them, I don't actually love them deep down.. I don't want this, only formulating such a thing makes me frightened and overly anxious.. I often lead myself to think more concretely (even because I mostly ruminate over what may be wrong with me and "daydream" to escapee this) but when I do I get this unpleasing feeling I am just forcing.. thay maybe that isn't truly me.. I don't want this, I don't want to cause such a sorrow in my parents and friends, I don't want to feel this trapped.. I costantly want to be reassured and hear that nothing is wrong with me but yet I can't shake this horrible feeling :( I truly only hope that I suffer from just anxiety and that I am a regular girl, because I truly want be one. Please, tell me what you think about this

[Urok2]

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am a medical professional and from your descriptions sounds exactly like what's going on with you. Many of the things you describe are very similar to my experiences. If you haven't already seen a doctor, that should be your first step. Realize, also there are things you can do to help yourself. Make sure you are eating well, sleeping enough and getting some form of exercise. I understand when your mind is racing with this craziness, it can be hard to make sure you are taking proper care of yourself but that is so important. The mind is very powerful and finding a way to keep it in its place can be daunting. I have tried meditation to gain some control. It has been helpful and there are many tips on YouTube you can check out. Also check out "tapping" and see if this may be helpful for you. You are NORMAL and you can do this thing called " life" with enjoyment...never let go of that! Many of us are on this path with you!

[JOO98]

Thank you so much for your response. You make me a lot more peaceful and calmer. I always try to take care of myself the best I can but when panic creeps in, it's hard to. But now I'll try better :)

[Urok2]

You are very welcome! I have been where you are and I myself have wondered what was going on with me and if I was normal and going to be ok. Anyone with an anxiety disorder can relate to being in your shoes. I agree when the panic creeps in, as it still does for me, it is difficult to feel rational....the mind is so powerful but your spirit is stronger!

[Paxiled]

There are no professionals on this site -- it is a site for people who suffer like you to share experiences and offer advice based on them, but we are not professionals.  I disagree with the advice given you -- a doctor will not help you unless you go to a doctor solely to see if there's something physiologically going on with you, but from your description it doesn't sound like that -- it sounds like you're fine but don't believe you're fine.  Everyone would have the same doubts you have if they thought about it -- most people just don't think about such things very much.  Those who do are often unhappy but can become very wise and very smart and very creative, becoming writers and artists or doing other creative things.  If you see any type of professional I'd recommend a psychologist who can help you see if there's any reason for you to be so upset by thinking these things and why you think so much about things that you seem not to want to focus on.  Doctors are not trained in mental illness or mental difficulties, and the only thing they know how to do is give you drugs.  Right now you're not at the stage to need medication, and if you were a psychiatrist would be the professional to see, not a regular doc.  But from your description you're doing okay in life, you just don't think you're doing okay.  The first step for that problem is either accepting yourself or seeing a therapist to talk it out.  Good luck.

[JOO98]

Look, I appreciate both of your honest feedbacks. I think that more than a doc, I should visit a teraphist and that's fine. I came on this site to get to know what the heck could be going on with me in the first place and I wanted it to be told by someone at least,a bit educated on the matter. Right now, I'm trying to take proper care of myself and cope with this kind of feelings the best I can, and that also means not let myself be deceived from them. Obviously, I am conscentious of the fact that I need cooperation on the road,both "professional" and intimate. But hearing from you that I am fine and that I can escape from this (that is just anxiety) helps me sincerly

[JOO98]

PLEASE don't ignore my post I am truly in panic