I can only sympathize with you because I am going through the same thing. I have hurt a lot a people, I am a liar, a cheat, and I have more skeletons in my closet that I will ever know. I am trying my best to change it all because I know this is a major part of my depression and anxiety. I've been told that one must forgive himself/herself to get any rest over it. I am trying my best.
I'm so sorry you dealing with this. But you are not alone hun I'm in the same boat. I sometimes can't even look myself in the mirror because of it. I'm trying to change it even though I have made drastic changes in my life I still have alot left to do.
But the key is trying to except what you did is what happen you can't change it but you can start to do better now. Even though we still struggle now with the past decisions we made. It will only define us if we continue the samething now.
Like the other part said forgiving yourself is key to moving past it. I'm in therapy now but we have yet to get to my deeper points of why I'm always beating myself up about my past decisions. And trust me the skeletons in my closet are very crazy and its something I'm not proud of but I'm trying to do better and I'm sure you are to.
Much love hun and you can get thru this.. Are you getting help?
I dont think there is a person on Earth without skeletons in their closet. We have all done things that we are not proud of and that still haunt us. Remember, we are only human. We are not perfect beings. We have and will still make mistakes that we will regret.
I have done things that have hurt ours that I really didnt intend to do. I have gotten depressed at times thinking about some of the things Ive done in life. I think the best approach to dealing with regrets is to learn from them and do the best you can to keep from repeating them.
Yeah, I beat myself up to...but literally by punching myself in the head or jaw and It's usually because I want to hit my dad or someone else but I take it out on myself as somehow I feel I'm the one who should be hurt even more for making someone so upset even if I haven't actually knowingly or intentionally acted on it. Stupid I know as then I get more pissed off at myself for ******* up my head even more and having a swollen jaw or face always ***** a ballsack. Hang in there man, it sounds like you're taking the right steps in getting things set straight. I've heard doing things that you're not proud of don't leave you feeling good about yourself which causes more depression and anxiety like lying,stealing,saying extremely damaging things, breaking girls hearts etc...I've done all of these things at least once or on multiple occasions depending on which one it is ...you are not the only one. You're doing good. Keep us posted on how you start to feel after doing things that DO make you feel better about yourself. :):):)
Someone once definied depression as "anger turned inward". This is so true.