I am sorry that you are going through this right now. Have you ever considered group counseling? I know that you said that you do not have insurance, but I know that usually it is much cheaper to attend (and I got a lot out of it). Have you ever tried searching for one of these groups that meet on a regular basis? And as for the people that make fun of what you are experiencing right now, I know it is hard to do, but don't even give them a second thought. In my opinion, the strong and confident do not do things like this....it tends to be the weak and unconfident that do this, so hold your head up. What you are going through is not easy and takes a whole lot more courage and determination that any of them could ever fathom in my opinion.
I agree with cj29. Also there are other jobs out there. Jobs with computer work and things like that. But you need to find a way to get this under control because you can't let this take over your life.
I am almost 50, it has been with me my whole life, tried meds, therapy, but it just seems to betting worse
There has to be a source where your anxiety is coming from. Maybe something that happened to you when you were a kid? You said you've gone to therapy, but have they done that thing (I forgot the name of it) where they basically hypnotize you and you replace bad memories (or whatever your source of problem is) with good ones which gets rid of your problems. Gosh, I wish I could remember what it was called, but you should try that if you haven't already.
By the way sorry if I don't make sense. I'm a terrible explainer