So thankful for my family.... =)

[cnote]

I just wanted to let this out....

Lot's of you who suffer through anxiety, know how frustrating it is to feel good for a long period of time, then have a bad spell.... it's very disappointing...

I've been anxiety free for about 6 months, til about a couple of weeks ago... evil anxiety popped it's head out again...
What triggered it was a skin blemish that showed up on my face for about a week and didnt seem to go away... I thought it was skin cancer, ended up not being that...  but left me with anxiety.... that then lead me to have a stiff neck... which ive never had that symptom before with anxiety... and it scared me, thought it was cancer or something... went to the dr. again... and he said it was positively caused by anxiety...

Well, he put me back on Lexapro 5mg.... and ive been on it for a few days... hoping it will kick in soon...

But, what I really wanted to talk about was my family... and how appreciative I am of them...

You see, I just got a new position at my job this year... about a month ago... I'm getting paid wonderfully, and I get to do what I love to do, video production. I also, just moved back into my home a couple of months ago, that just got refinished b/c we had a house fire 5 months ago... So there are lots of changes that have taken place.... change is good... but it can cause anxiety I know... but I really think my EYE SCARE really triggered this one... now I'm just in a loop of fear... and the fear is feeding off of itself...

I have no appetite, which makes me worried, b/c I gotta eat to live... I am making myself eat... but it's so hard... i bought protein shakes to help out. I know I will get my appetite back... I have to know that. Ive been through this before. Im also really pacy... can't seem to sit still for too long... and it just stinks...

Well, today I got off work, went to the gym... and then started heading over to my mom and dad's to visit... I called my mother to let her know I was coming over... she asked me how I was doing... and my emotions just let go... I started crying really hard... and told her not very good... and told her I was so tired of feeling so anxious like this... she assured me everything would be okay, and I will make it through this, just like I made it through my previous spells.

It felt SO good hearing her say that. I got to their house... and just walked to her back yard and looked at the lake.. (they live on a bluff that overlooks a beautiful lake) and just cried my eyes out til I couldnt cry anymore.

I went inside, and my parents hugged me... and I just cried some more... they are so loving... and I'm so thankful for them.

My older brother then came over, and him and I went for a drive... we had a great talk about the Lord... and I cried with him too... I love him so much...

We came back to my folks house... and my brother gave me the best massage ever... not many brothers out there would massage their brother... but my brother doesnt care... and he loves me so much, and i love him so much too.

After that, I drove home, and just prayed to God... and told God to take control. I know he will... I really want to devote my life to the Lord again... I know he's real, and I know he's capable of many many great things...

God want's us to feel better. God will lead all of us in the right direction.

So even if you are at your lowest low, cry out to the Lord... and let him take over.

Jonah, in the Bible was at his lowest low, until he cried out for the Lord for help. And the Lord saved him from the belly of the whale. Jonah’s story teaches us about obedience, willingness of spirit, gratitude, compassion and God’s patience and mercy. It's a good read. =)

I'm feeling so much relief tonight... I think I'll actually sleep well... and I think I'm going to start feeling better very soon.

Thanks to this forum too!! Thank you all for your support as well!!! =)

WE ALL CAN BEAT THIS. =)

[md135]

nice story :) happy to read you felt better, it really helps to focus on the good times, i myself am not religious but i totally understand the great help having faith has, either for god or a loved one, much like myself, i lost all my friends, my job and my life basically, but there was one thing i didn't loose, my fiancee, she went to the shops for me when i couldn't, bought me clothes, cooked me dinner, and it really brought us closer, i saw how much she loved me and it just made me more determined to be better and have a happy life again with her, family are important cos when no one else wants to help us deal with our problems they never fail to be there, you can beat this, anyone can, with support and help, we are all in it together and we will kick it's *** :) lol

hope you feel better soon! i fell off the wagon so to speak with my panic lately also but seen my therapist and got my head back on track as to what i needed to do, and doing well again, just hang in there and try have a peaceful life as possible..

[cnote]

You are completely right! A speed bump! I'm in a little funk, and will get out of this! Like always. =)

You will too Kristine! =)

[angeldoll]

aww that was a sweet story you are so luckey to have family like that my family are not there for me i wish i had that good luck to u

[kristine9190]

Wow, good for you! I am so happy for you to have such an amazing support system. You are so lucky for that! Since I am familiar with your story here on Medhelp, I feel like I should tell you that YOU ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS, you have triumphed before and you will do it again! Seriously, a house fire 5 months ago, moving back in............that in of itself is enough to send someone over the edge! You should be so proud of yourself, you have an amazing job that you love, and you are doing well in your life! Congratulations to you for that! What you have hit now, is what I like to call a "Speed Bump", and think about it, you have every right to be anxious right now!  I have hit a "Speed Bump" in my recovery recently too, but I am going to persevere, and make this happen for me again, I WILL FEEL BETTER! I will work really hard to make sure that happens! And so will you!

All the best to you!
Kristine

[cnote]

Thanks Jade! I will get through this spell. =)
Glad it was a good post for you to read. That makes me smile. =)

[Jade59]

cnote, this is about the sweetest post I've ever read.  I am crying and smiling and so happy that you're feeling better.  What a close and loving family you have.  A family to envy for. That sure does help doesn't it.  

It sounds like you have a good handle on anxiety and know how to take care of yourself to get you through this temporary phase.  That and the loving support of your family will make this period in your life just a memory before you know it :)

Can't keep my eyes open, but felt compelled to reply to your post before I sign off.  This was a great post to close my day with.  

You are so sweet!