Aa
Some help?
Alright, I am a 21 year old male who went to Amsterdam Red Light District I had sex with female sex worker. I put on two condoms because I though that it was safer, found out it was not since supposedly they can rip easier she gave me oral and then we had vaginal sex. We only had vaginal sex for 1 minute until I regreted what I was doing and pulled out, she then took off my condom which did not appear ripped from what I can tell. She put a new one on and finished me with oral. She then told me to use a wipe to fight off any possible infections. Which was scary to me cause its practically saying she has something. That very night I was sweating alot thinking she might have given me HIV. Ever since then I have not been the same, it has messed me up psychologically, I dont go out any more, my friends hate me cause my worries is all i talk about, I got tested with a PCR test 13 days after having sex came out negative. But the very next day, my knee joints started aching, then followed by my ankles, feet joints, elbows, wrists, hands, and now it is my hips or hip joints. one after the other in a period of three weeks now all of them start hurting individually at different times or if i put pressure on one of them for example when i put my elbow on a table it starts aching sometimes i do not have to do anything for it to start aching. I also have this kind of presence in the left side of my head near my temple, i am thinking it is from over thinking about what i should do or what i can do It is definitely real pain, and it is growing and in my joints, sometimes in my muscles. I literally have had a nightmare about this disease living inside me for 6 weeks every night. I wake up not being able to breath much, what I noticed is that I am super tense, each time I notice it my shoulder muscles are flexed until I unflex them, 5 seconds later I will be doing something else and they are flexed again. I have relly vivid nightmares of me being abandoned by my friends and family not being able to have a baby anymore without risking him getting the disease as well. My palms are peeling meaning I am dehydrated I read that that might be the cause of joint pain, not drinking and severe stress. Im that worried, and have convinced myself that I have the virus for more than a month, and am very depressed. What does this sound like? I have no other symptoms, but I am physically hurting on all parts of my body more often and intensely every week. Have you ever heard of anything like this, because I read that people get a flu, or are lightheaded from stressing too much but aching joints?? Ive been told that I should seek a therapist, or be content with my 13 PCR negative result by friends, what do you think?. I just want to know why my joints in my knees, feet etc are hurting. This is real, and it is not going away. I do not even know if I can get tested again because I would just not rather know. I mean does this sound like joint pain from acute HIV?Or can stress and anxiety cause this pain in my muscle and joints?
yeah that is true it is not really the idea of HIV that scares me it is me being infected with HIV that scares me and it's been 2 months, 1/6 of a year that i have convinced myself of having this disease. All my joints hurt at some point throughout the day and i just pray that it's my anxiety, i want it to be over and get on with my life. as soon as i convince myself that i'm not infected i can't move on, and that is only with a negative at 3 months. from there on i will be more precatious from putting myself in this situation again. i wont be afraid of HIV or the people who are infected with it, i would just like to help people who are living with this disease.
Still, be VERY careful. It's the same thing, regardless of HOW you do it. If you start spending a lot of time around the topic, your anxiety may just fester and fester.
Just be conscious of it.
Just be conscious of it.
i'm not going to stay in HIV websites and counsel people since i don't have enough of knowledge on the subject. I'm from San Francisco and there are AIDS walks, and organizations that help people with HIV i would like to volunteer. I have gotten a better idea of how there are alot of people with sicknesses and if i can do anything by just volunteering i'll be content with that.
I just posted a reply to someone on the HIV forum about exactly this. If you want to "give back" based on this experience, then do so with a donation to an HIV/AIDS charity.
Don't make the mistake so many people do, thinking they are going to become an expert and counsel people. With your anxiety levels and irrarional thiking, you would be headed for disaster. We've seen people do just that, only to end up with a full blown HIV phobia, and years of intense psychological therapy to overcome it. Trust me on this, the less exposure you have to HIV websites, the better.
Don't make the mistake so many people do, thinking they are going to become an expert and counsel people. With your anxiety levels and irrarional thiking, you would be headed for disaster. We've seen people do just that, only to end up with a full blown HIV phobia, and years of intense psychological therapy to overcome it. Trust me on this, the less exposure you have to HIV websites, the better.
i'm getting blood drawn on the 16th then getting my test results on the 18th for STIs, lyme disease, rheumatoid arthritis. i have to wait exactly 1 more month on the 17th of May before i get the standard antibody test. i just convinced myself for so long that i am sick, if this joint pain is coming from depression and anxiety then i pray that hearing a negative will finally convince me that i am alright. and i can move on with my life, this whole experience has made me look at how serious HIV/AIDS i want to help when i get back to the US and get into some organization, and be proactive on helping people fight this virus.
My guess is, your symptoms are anxiety and depression related. When you see your doctor, discuss with him what kinds of tests he thinks you should have.
I cannot tell you enough times that you did NOT have a risk for HIV. If testing will help you move on, then by all means, request one. If you HAD a real risk (which you didn't), a test at 2 months would be almost conclusive. You would have had a slightly higher risk for other STD's, but still very LOW due to the fact that the intercourse was condom protected. Yes, wearing two condoms is not advised due to increased chance of breakage, but your condoms remained intact!!!
If your doctor doesn't find anything physically wrong with you, you really need to start accepting that this may be anxiety related. At some point, you have to have faith in the doctors and tests.
I cannot tell you enough times that you did NOT have a risk for HIV. If testing will help you move on, then by all means, request one. If you HAD a real risk (which you didn't), a test at 2 months would be almost conclusive. You would have had a slightly higher risk for other STD's, but still very LOW due to the fact that the intercourse was condom protected. Yes, wearing two condoms is not advised due to increased chance of breakage, but your condoms remained intact!!!
If your doctor doesn't find anything physically wrong with you, you really need to start accepting that this may be anxiety related. At some point, you have to have faith in the doctors and tests.
Thanks again Nursegirl, but the joint pain wont let me sleep and i have nightmares all of the time, i also have this presence on my left top head i don't know what it is but it's always there i can't feel it but it's like my vain is popping. It's been 60 days but it's still hasn't gone away, the pain is getting worse and worse all over my body i feel like an old person, and i'm so depressed right now i always twitch when i'm sleeping and kind of convulse. i'm going to the doctor on the 17th, making it exactly 2 months after my possible exposure. do you think i should get another full STI check? i think the window period would be done for all of them by now. i know that HIV window period is 3 months long but would a 2 month period antibody test be 95% accurate or less? what about lyme disease and rhuematoid arhtritis.
For starters, HIV is not a punishment of any kind. As you already know, you didn't have a risk for HIV.
Also, one cannot never judge a risk or HIV status based on symptoms, and yours are not consistent with HIV anyway. Many newly infected people never have symptoms, but classic ARS symptoms come in a group and if symptoms occur, a significantly HIGH fever (over 101) is virtually ALWAYS present, along with a rash and lymph node swelling in many different locations, bed soaking night sweats, etc. ARS symptoms cause a person to be extremely ill, with severe flu like symptoms. You wouldn't miss it.
Anxiety and depression and guilt is causing you to overthink this. Your muscle aches could be due to a thousand different things, including anxiety and depression.
Bottom line is, you don't have HIV, and when you get your test to prove it, you really MUST put this behind you.
Also, one cannot never judge a risk or HIV status based on symptoms, and yours are not consistent with HIV anyway. Many newly infected people never have symptoms, but classic ARS symptoms come in a group and if symptoms occur, a significantly HIGH fever (over 101) is virtually ALWAYS present, along with a rash and lymph node swelling in many different locations, bed soaking night sweats, etc. ARS symptoms cause a person to be extremely ill, with severe flu like symptoms. You wouldn't miss it.
Anxiety and depression and guilt is causing you to overthink this. Your muscle aches could be due to a thousand different things, including anxiety and depression.
Bottom line is, you don't have HIV, and when you get your test to prove it, you really MUST put this behind you.
I definitely will, what scares me even more is that the joint pain kind of disappeared about 2 weeks later, i just can't tell whether this is a virus or because i've been very sedentary, depressed, anxious for the last month and a half also the the weather is cold. if i were not to stress the whole thing it would've been easy to dismiss it as a virus because i might not have had these pains. i hate feeling like this, i have no other symptom no rash. but my body is always tense and it might have something to do with my joints, i'm just really scared i'm away from my family for the first time in my life and i can't think straight anymore. i really miss them, and i keep praying to God telling him I'm sorry for what i did, it was stupid and pathetic but i've never made a big mistake like this in my life, i don't want to be punished so harshly for what i did in amsterdam
If you feel testing will help you move on, that's fine, just believe your negative result when you get it!
I know sound annoying, but I got exactly 39 days before it's been 3 months I'm going to get tested. hearing a negative will be the only way i get rid of this anxiety. I mean I wore a condom, but I don't know where this joint pain is coming from or these burning muscles it feels like a virus, I'm only 21 and I had my whole life ahead of me, I don't want this disease. I'm going to counseling next week but I if I hear a negative I'll have my life again.
You never had a risk for HIV. Since this is obviously a huge source of stress and anxiety for you, and you are struggling with the idea you didn't hsve a risk, I would highly recommend some professional help.
thanks, liluykj. It's been some of the hardest days just waiting i have to wait 42 more days to make sure then i'm free from this guessing, i'm sure i'll come out a better person.
You can get re-tested if you wish. But yes, Anxiety and stress can also cause pain in muscle and joints. Your mind is a powerful thing, and if you believe anything you will feel it.
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