The memory people speak of isn't of the weed but of the anxiety caused by it, assuming that's what's going on with you. It might not be, as you describe not being anxious while stoned, but let's be honest here -- nobody smokes that much to treat depression, and taking a downer drug isn't usually used for depression. Some people think certain newly hybridized strains of marijuana are good for anxiety, but given that so many people go their first anxiety attacks while stoned I have my doubts. The only anxiety disorder I've seen weed used for with evidence is PTSD. As for weed not being a psychedelic, while that's technically true, the weed you're using today isn't really marijuana at all, it's a highly hybridized and engineered drug that's far stronger than the natural marijuana people smoked for most of history. I know firsthand, because I'm old and remember when the new stuff started coming on the market from Northern California, and I didn't enjoy it -- it wasn't at all like smoking natural marijuana, it was far closer to taking far stronger drugs. What that means besides the obvious, that it has a stronger attachment to brain neurotransmitters, is also that it's harder to come down from. The high lasts longer. There's a similar problem with LSD -- the first stuff was pure, and you could come down off it with a little help, but since then it's almost all been cut with other stuff, mostly speed, so it lasts longer and is hard to come down from when you're not having any fun. The wonders of greed, you know? Here's my own opinion, for what it's worth -- when weed turns bad on you, it's time to stop taking it. And you should also know that an anti-anxiety medication doesn't solve any problems, it just gives you a temporary respite from your anxiety if it works. Antidepressants can give you a longer relief, but then you're on an antidepressant for the long term. If this sticks around, I'd say you need to get into therapy, as weed brings out of us what's inside us. If it doesn't, it's just what we used to call a "weedover." Hopefully, that's all it is. Peace.
I should add, there's also a possibility the marijuana was cut with something else, such as PCP. I had that once and only learned about it later. Have no idea if this happened, but it does happen sometimes.
Thanks for your response.
Well, I've been to the hospital earlier and I got a breathing test done, a ECG test done, a heart rate test done, and a blood test, the first two had no issues, the 3rd one read 90BPM resting heart rate and spike to 115 at one point, and the last one is still waiting.
The male nurse I was talking to said 90BPM resting heart rate is still normal because it falls between 60-100, but given that I used to have 60BPM before the weed, this isn't normal. I told the guy about doing weed, but not much came of that, and I'd guess it would show in the blood test, he'll ring me back if there's anything wrong.
I just dunno what to do, the constant high heart rate and breathlessness is causing me serious distress which often turns into anxiety, bordering on a panic, and slow breathing doesn't work either. I just can't go on like this. I know anti-anxiety meds are addictive, and honestly I'm sort of anti-medication myself, but I am desperate. Might attend therapy but I have other issues to address too. This really needs to go away in a few days tops, I wasn't like this before the weed, I just worry I've screwed myself up somehow, I never got this from the first few times I smoked :(
And I don't think it was cut with PCP, I've read about the effects and I never got that while high, I also ordered it from a well reviewed vendor on the deep web.
Also, I've dealt with my issues alone up to this point, but I can't deal with the anxiety alone, I'm not even religious but I'll pray for it to go away because this is an awful problem.
I'd consider therapy and soon, it it doesn't just dissipate on its own soon, because if it has triggered some anxiety from within you it's better to deal with it quickly then let it fester into a chronic problem. For me, weed was fine until it wasn't, but I think the anxiety was in me, it just first came out while I was high. But it didn't become chronic anxiety for me until later, so just because you're uncomfortable now doesn't mean it'll last. Drugs are odd things, and the stronger they get the odder they get. Hope this goes away soon.
Also, there is no way to know who the hell is selling you stuff on the web, deep or not. Buy from who you know, the web is the wild west. Most of the reviews you read on the web are gamed. Take care.