Mobile phone text writing. Or it's a member of the mafia.
IF I'm reading your writing correctly, which is very creative, I am assuming you've seen a doctor about these symptoms since you talk about taking Ativan and an antidepressant. You don't say how long you've been taking them, so the answer to one of your questions is that yes, this could be anxiety, which the Ativan should have helped with immediately. Antidepressants CAN sometimes take weeks to fully kick in. But this should have all been explained to you by your prescribing doctor.
Are you taking the antidepressants as directed, which should be at least once a day? You say that you get shortness of breath and THEN take an antidepressant..........I may be confused on that part of your story, but antidepressants are not to be taken on an "as needed" basis. They must accumulate in your body to work.
Taking your medications as directed and getting into some form of talk therapy is the best way most of know how to NOT go through these "anxious episodes." There is no magic pill out there, my friend. I'm sorry to have to tell you that.
You found us and that is an excellent beginning to gaining some insight into your anxiety.............as well as receiving a great deal of support and understanding about what you're going through.
Please let us know more.............
Peace
Greenlydia