avoiding

[whitecat78]

i have this problem with avoiding everything, i never answer the phone, it irritates me when it rings, i never talk to anybody, except my boyfriend and family once in a while.  whenever i try to engage in social activity i just feel annoyed and want to be alone again. i am afraid i am going to go crazy because of the isolation i put myself in, i don't know what to do because i don't like being around people either.

[MrGreen]

Dare I suggest you post your question on the anxiety forum as well. Just to see what sort of answers you get there. Lot of socialphobics there. You might get a few better answers. More answers the better. All I would add in is that you have to learn how to be social again. Be it finding a hobby group. Something you like doing. Meeting like minded people. Not easy I know. It will take time and effort. But it is the only way you will ever overcome the condition. To do what it is you fear most of all. Takes one to be brave. After a decade indoors I can go out and about now. But it meant working hard at pushing myself and putting myself into horrible situations. And not running from them. Which is always the first thing that comes to mind. Practice is what you need. Be it with people you know first off. Then, maybe, expand it.

[whitecat78]

i dont hate people, its the interacting i dont like, i just find being around them exhausting. maybe im not good at it and i have lacked social skills all my life, now i am just use to avoiding in-person conversation.

[beelzebubba]

I'm kind of interested because I think I am as isolated as you but with completely opposite feelings about people. Plus when I am alone I am very much not calm or happy.
Anyway, you say you don't like being around people right? But it also seems like you don't mean that you don't like people. Because you are here, relating with people right? That must count for something, eh? I mention it because I am trying to move back into the world and this seems like a safe baby step.
Anyway, if you can enjoy an e-mail conversation with a stranger... at what point does it stop being enjoyable? The phone? Being in the presence of that stranger? (These are questions that I am asking myself - just kinda using your post for a good place to ask them). I'd love to hear your thoughts

b-

[whitecat78]

thanks for the quick response. i dont think i have agoraphobia but social anxiety. i can leave the house alone or with my boyfriend and family. the problem is that i feel apathetic and i just dont care anymore. its not depression i feel, because i have energy. when i am alone i feel calm and happy, as soon as someone invades my personal space or i am pressured  to go to a social gathering i get irritated, i am starting to feel more irritability than anxiety. yeah i  journal and i take 20mg of celexa. i have also been addicted to this site lately, thats why i dont leave the house lol

[MrGreen]

Plus it would be hard to get propper help with because that would mean going to see someone. Vicious circle. I avoided life for over a decade. Still do to some extent. But not as much as I used to. My bedroom was my life. I would lock myself away and just stay there all day. It can become a sad lonely lifestyle. When you begin to think of all the things you are missing out on. You watch life go by. I was the same with noise. It used to do my head in. Lights annoyed me too. They still do. I sit in the dark. The only light is the light from my computer monitor. I'm not mad. And you are not going mad either. Social situations is your problem. Socialphobia does exist. Can I ask if you are getting help at all or are on any medication? The key is all about learning things all over again. Things we once knew. Going out used to be easy once. Now it is a problem. You have forgotten the basics. Really it is like starting at the bottom and working your way back up again. Taken very small steps to begin with. Nothing major. But something that will challenge you. The idea is to stick it out. It will feel horrible. You will probably want to run away from it. The horrible feelings it brings with it. That is why we take it easy to begin with. Nobody is asking you to go to a disco or a packed shopping mall. I recall learning the basics all over again. I began with my front garden. How much smaller of a step can you get than that. Then I used to go for walks on the road were I live. I had a nice neighbour across the road. I used to call over to her and chat in her garden. My house was still within range. The more I saw I could do things the more I wanted to do. I wanted to challenge myself. Yes, there were setbacks. But when they occur you have to see them as just off days. Tomorrow will always be better. A good understanding that might be of interest for you is that your mood, your thought, your reaction and your symptoms are all connected. Great to keep a journal of them. They each have an effect on the other. Bad mood brings about a thought, which brings about a reactions, which brings about the symptoms. Learn how to change one and you have half the problem solved. It is not easy. But a journal will show you a pattern. Then maybe you can see were you could have thought in a different way or maybe reacted in a different way. It is just good to have an understanding about such things. But stick with us. I think the other members are on strike today. ( LOL ) We have our regulars. They have all been where you are at right now. And some have worked their way back up the ladder and do go out and about. Myself included. It takes time. Few falls. Lot of hard work. Medication is only 1/3 of the answer. The hardest work has to be done by us. Hope the post has helped you in some little way. Feel free to post more. Be it questions or just venting posts. This is a great place for that.