did i have sex with some girl?

[worry132]

I woke up nude in my hotel. I I have fuzzy memories of talking to some people but dont know if i was just dreaming it. I think this due to soightly remembering the night going another way. I might have seen a condom on the floor of my hotel. But I think this could be my mind playing tricks on me. I woke up alone and have no memory of any sexual activity. My friends tell me I probably just drank too much and got naked. Even in that drunken state would probably not be able to get an erection as its happened before.

Now Im tormented all the time of thoughts that I might have had sex, cheated in my girlfrend(who i told about the possible event). She didnt seem to worried. Now Im terrified I could have got some girl pregnant. That would ruin my relationship with the woman I love and also my life.

My friends and family think Im nuts. but Id like some input from nuetral parties.

Thank you.

[worry132]

And how would she find me if something did happen? if we dont know one another. rather find out now then 5 yesrs down the road.

[AnxiousNoMore]

" I woke up alone and have no memory of any sexual activity. " Yet somehow you are fixated on the idea that you had sex. That makes no more sense than being convinced that you met Donald Trump and he wants to give you a job but can't find you.

[worry132]

I dont want to sound stupid. But Ive been replaying scenarios in my head fo so long. Im starting to belive them.

[Paxiled]

We can go on this carousel forever, but you're basically saying over and over you have developed an anxiety problem if you didn't have one already.  I'm guessing you probably did have one already by the severity of the reaction you're having to this incident.  Maybe something is going on in your life that has made you more prone to this right now.  If you're going to keep replaying this over and over and there's just nothing you can do about it then it's probably time you find a psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment and stop this from becoming who you are over and over again -- this is going on and on and that's when it becomes a chronic problem.  You don't want that.  A professional has some detachment from you and can see your situation and can also teach you some relaxation techniques if you find one who specializes in anxiety treatment (most don't), but in your case I don't think you're going to meditate or exercise your way out of this one and it doesn't seem like time is solving it either.  

[worry132]

I think you might be right. This isnt the first time this repeditive thinking has occurred.

Thank you for your astute comments.

[Paxiled]

Not really astute -- I've had this darned anxiety problem for a long long time and I wish I'd tended to it -- or realized it -- much earlier than I did so I never would have ended up on this medication and anxiety merry-go-round.  I'm hoping a quick intervention can solve this part of your life -- it's not your whole life.  

[worry132]

Does anyone think I should be too concerned about pregnancy. Considering the alcohol content in my system? Ive suffered the same “whiskey d**k” before. Considering the unlikelyhood someone would go home with me in that state. Then the diffuculty to perform. My chances of pregnancy happening are next to nil, right?

[specialmom]

No, no one thinks you should be concerned. Why worry about something no one is contacting you about?  Really, you have to move on.  

[worry132]

Ok so not beat it too death. Chances are I wouldnt know the girl, if there even is one.  If i havent heard anything in 7 months. I shouldnt be concerned? If anyone has anxiety relief techniques. im all ears.

[worry132]

Thank you to all of your answers. Ive already been tested after three months. My girlfriend knows all of this. Ive hid nothing. She still doesnt seemed concerned. My big scare is PRETNANCY. The logical side of me says I wouldnt be able to get an erection to perform. I realize that could just be the paranoid mind. Remember. Im still not 100% i actually found a condom or imagination. Anywho though. thank you again. This is more of something to practice not thinking about.

[specialmom]

So, in your case, no news is good news, right?  Stay busy and shift your thinking.  You can do it!

[worry132]

Yes. no news is good news. and this all happened 7 months ago. so far so good.

[specialmom]

Well yes, for sure especially that so much time has passed.  Hang in there

[Paxiled]

There's a positive to this -- you are able to feel guilt.  Not a great feeling, but if you use it as a teaching tool, it can be useful.  Reading the newspaper these days make one think guilt has disappeared.  It's just not a good thing to dwell on, once you've learned what it has to teach, let go and move on and practice what you've learned from it.  

[specialmom]

Since you had a black out, you may never fully know.  And ruminating about it won't give you answers.  You'll have to move on. Guilt makes people have high levels of anxiety it seems.  And I understand that you have levels of guilt because of your girlfriend and the drinking to such excess.  Here is what I'd do, go get a full std panel done.  HIV, STD's, etc.  All adults who are sexually active and may or may not have had an episode (and you found a condom on the ground so that's great and means you probably protected yourself) should do.  Once you get all the negatives, just clean up your act and move on.  Be a great boyfriend.  Cut down or stop drinking.  And do some mind switching.  When you start spinning with thoughts of this, have a go to thought or scene that you actively make your mind go to.  You on a beach.. You playing soccer.  You on a date with your girlfriend where you had a really good time.  Put those thoughts in your head as soon as you start worrying about this incident.  Eventually, your  mind will give up.  Giving in to worrying about it all the time makes it more real. So, switch your thoughts when you drift to this.  good luck

[worry132]

Yes. i understand over consumption is a no-no. And im sorry to hear about your issues as its out of your control. i figured out on my own that getting wasted to the point of blackout was wrong. that i can fix.

my problem is figuring out if i did anything this time while blackout. future i can control. this issue i have now needs addressing to whether i did something or not.

[Paxiled]

You can't really find that out, can you?  If you did hurt someone by acting irresponsibly, my guess is that someone will let you know.  In the meantime, you're driving yourself nuts over something you just can't know because you weren't conscious at the time, apparently.  Life is hard enough without worrying yourself to death over what you can't know and, again, if you did do something, another person was involved and will probably let you know if things went badly.  Gotta leg go of this one.  

[jancat310]

Why not stop the drinking? Problem solved!

[jancat310]

I wans't being silly, but why do you want to dring so much? I lost my father to that, as well as my brother. And three best friends. That stuff will kill you. I sure wish my problems were as simple as yours.
Some days, I can't even get out of bed, the pain is so bad. On top of that.......... I can't sleep and my doctor won't give me anything to help me sleep anymore. Getting so sick of doctors playing God. Sorry, I guess I needed to vent.
Let me know how everything turns out.
Janet