fear of dreaming/ panic attacks in my sleep?

[Cat089]

Call me cat. I just woke up from another weird "experience". Its new to me.
I have a problem I know. Otherwise I'd be asleep right now. It comes out of nowhere. I know I'm asleep. But it strikes. I wake up suddenly. My whole body feels like It's pulsing. I can feel my heart actually racing behind my neck. I have problems breathing. I don't remember dreaming but I wake up screaming my little sisters name usually. I scramble for light but when I actually turn it on I'm suddenly exhausted and fall on my bed,my eyes fight to stay open, then once I know can keep them open I have paranoia. I know the doors open. My cat comes in AMD freaks me out by staring at it. I can't control my fear, I have to tell myself to.calm down. And struggle to relax, I start.crying most times and can't sleep until the suns up. It's almost up now. I get paranoid, like someone's in the room with me. It freaks me out when my cat comes in the room and stares at the door. I just want this fear to be over. The person who raised me was killed two years ago for some reason I think it's him. He wasn't a good person. And now for some reason, I'm not saying I believe in ghosts but I feel like the reason I can't sleep peacefully is because of him. How can I get peaceful sleep? It's odd and scary, I feel like I need to hear someone's voice after each time. It's pathetic. I just want these to be over, the sixth time now.

[anninnyc]

I think I may know what's going on with you. It has happened to me. It's called sleep paralysis and it is a very real, physical phenomena, not a mental health issue. What happens is the muscles of your body become paralyzed while you are entering or leaving REM sleep. The paralysis is normal and happens to everyone, but in sleep paralysis it occurs when you're only half asleep. This can causes some really scary hallucinations and/or paranoia. People with anxiety disorders, PTSD, social anxiety or multiple sleep disruptions are prone to it and there is a genetic component.

It sounds like you have some major unresolved issues with the person who raised you and this is exacerbating the sensation. If you Google sleep paralysis you will find a wealth of information on it, but if this forum allows links you can access this article from Web MD called "Sleep Paralysis: Demon In the Bedroom." I hope this is helpful - I know it can be a terrifying experience:

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/sleep-paralysis-demon-in-the-bedroom

[MYoungAtHeart]

When something happens in our lives, the memory of it goes in deep, not forgetting, not healing, not making sense of it and then as the anniversary of it looms, it lets us know that there is still unfinished business in the form of physical symptoms and nightmares and sleep disturbances....We become afraid to sleep because in the still of the dark night a lot of times our minds run free, skipping and hopping over all the things in our lives that have not been dealt with...wishes, hopes and dreams that have never been realized, regrets and sometimes downright self hate for not seeing ahead of time the things we wish we could have seen.....we lie there in the dark comparing ourselves with other people we know and even wish we could be a little like, and then end up with envy for what others have and begin focusing on what we do not have....And most of this goes on night after night after night even with the little nightlight in the corner shining and a phone under the pillow for a quick call for help.

I would really like you to see your Medical Doctor for a referral to a therapist  or a group therapy that deals in depression/anxiety.  It is very theraputic to get good sound sleep and your thinking once you get on a sleep schedule will really amaze you as it allows clear thinking and the ability to make healthy choices for yourself.  Being exhausted all the time is not the way to live a healthy life...When you are that tired it is very easy to make mistakes that might cause your own health to be in jeopardy...

I do hope you will see someone and come back and tell us how you are doing.....

M

[Cat089]

Well, he's been dead two years now. April 17 2010. No I'm not on medication, I don't even smoke or drink. It's  been a pretty tough time for me. I don't really have family so no one to talk to about it. Maybe it will help to see someone. Right now I'm just pretty exhausted, but too anxious to actually sleep.

[MYoungAtHeart]

Hi Cat,

I am so sorry you are going through this when you are trying to sleep.
You say this is a new experience and I was wondering if you are on any medication that might be causing some of your problems...

I am not a doctor or therapist but I would like to see you make an appointment  with a Medical Professional who might be able to get
to the bottom of your nightmares and fears.

I do know from my own experience that the fear of sleeping alone in the dark at night for years, I mean for 20 years, was normal for me, not being able to sleep until 4:30 am or when the sun started coming up and then getting up at 7 am and working for 8 to 12 hours and it would replay again and again.  

I am also wondering if this is an anniversary time for the death of the person who raised you and if you have been thinking alot about him and the past and your life.  And that ruminating will follow you to bed and into your sleep. I found for myself that the only ghosts who followed and bothered me were the ones I kept giving life to with my thinking continuously about the past.  Once I started recovering from depression and anxiety the ghosts were acknowledged and properly buried.

I do hope that you come back and tell us how you are doing...

I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

M

[Cat089]

Thank you. I really appreciate the words. I just don't like not being able to move. It's like paralysis in my sleep. Then when I'm actually able to panic sets in and just messes with me and I won't leave my room for anything... deep breathing does help tons.

[klbuurman]

Im sorry you are having a rough time.  Unfortunately i don't have an answer for you.  I am having many of these same experiences and am doing my best to try and figure out whats going on.  I did want to let you know that you are not the only person out there going through this.  In fact, the more i check, the more it seems to me that there is a big group of individuals experiencing similar smptoms.  I dont know what it is but im going to do my best to figure it out.  Its so scary when things seem so . . . ."off", for lack of a better word.  Hang in there.   Try to remember to breathe deep and fully exhale.  Slow, steady and calm breathing if helpful - and Drink a lot of water.  Water is fantastic for your body.  I have taken to sleeping with  lights on around me.  Makes me feel slightly less uneasy.  I hope some of this helps.

[Cat089]

Paranoia, tingling fingers and dizzy body and mind. Difficulty breathing. Tunnel vision. Panic. Fear. Helplessness. Increased awareness like adrenaline.