just a story to share and some questions :(

[Matthew007]

So.. I'm an old time member on this website - years ago I was sick with major nausea/IBS/anxiety that went on for about 5 years (life was really bad..never leaving the house..losing job/friends..) but finally I found out that I'm fructose intolerant and gluten intolerant (yay!) but... the IBS lingers and my anxiety over the years has gotten worse (boo..) ...also learned that being fructose intolerant, if I eat fructose it blocks my absorption of tryptophan which is brain food for serotonin... hence why for years I had sweaty palms/nausea/anxiety/IBS 24/7 for years... luckily that only hits when something semi stressful hits now... I think partly I've trained my brain to be one anxiety ridden wreck..

Now if I get any major stress at work or try to do anything social, get cornered with no way out my stomach goes bezerk.  I had girl friend of mine (super cute..) show up at my house randomly and I was freaking out...:( embarassing.... heck even going to the grocery store I have to pick a good time when I feel halfway decent with my sensitive stomach (IBS) and anxiety :( I've wanted to go to a local aviary here for months and every weekend I can't bring myself to do it.. :(

anyway after being begged by a female coworker to go to a christmas work party last night, which I had to really work myself up to walk into the restaurant (I never eat out.. total anti-social person here...and I know that's not normal either...)  I went...super anxiety city - at one point we were doing a mass gift exchange (the type you read a story...hand it to your left when the story mentions left.. sort of thing) and my anxiety was so bad at that moment I felt like running to the restroom partly nauseated during the exchange :( ... just to breathe (felt faint..upset stomach.. short of breath.. flushed face..) yeah...a bit of a panic attack :(  so embarrassing.. I had to really sit there and sip water and breath in and out as everyone is having a great time yet I was royally messed up fighting nausea waves...

top it off my female coworker won some Utah Jazz tickets at the party and she wants me to go with her in 2 weeks to a game...with 20,000 people screaming in a crowded arena (AAAAAAAAAACK!!) she's a super cute girl and my heart says yes but my mind and gut say "HECK NO you'll just embarrass yourself.. "  I'm not sure if I can actually handle picking her up..parking.. sitting through 2+ hours of a crowded arena..ugh :(.  I haven't been on a date for 2+ years so I WANT TO.. but wow I know it's going to be a nightmare...

anyway sorry to ramble but my question is.. for those who are dealing with anxiety...

I'm caving in and going to the doctor after the holidays, I recognize that I have depression..and I used to be a happy healthy nothing got in my way and I've tried 5-htp and some other natural ways to fight this but I'm losing the battle here and now going to work is a major daily battle...

I guess my questions are..


have read lexapro can have negative sexual side effects..do they go away after you stop?  Read some places that antidepressants can leave permanent damage? :S true?
have antidepressants helped any of you long term?
anyone suffer stomach problems (IBS with anxiety?) or am I a unique case?
better to do just xanax? or some quick fix?
tried working out, it helps..but then when I do anything social I'm a mess :( any other tips?
Anyone have IBS and had luck with antidepressants? (I can somewhat handle anxiety..but the IBS really screws up things..) it's like the fear of being sick around people... that's what gets me...

any tips when I go to the doctor? :(

Thanks  :( and thanks for reading my sad story ha... least I still have some humor.. but yeah just doing research before I go to the doctor for my problem :(
Matthew

[Matthew007]

Nursegirl!

You deserve an award... if I could give you one in some way I totally would! Thank you soooooooo much for such a detailed and thorough response!

:)

Your husband friend is now becoming me in a nutshell (I feel his pain..) I'm 36 now, not married and at the rate I'm going I'll never get married :'(  so... I don't want to end up that way....but I can totally relate - I mean if I get a surprise visitor/girl over at my place I'm excusing myself to the restroom like 3 or 4 times in an hour! face flush... total anxiety and my gut doesn't help the situation.. so I totally relate to what you had...

I'm happy to hear you're doing better these days though! If I could just go to work or ... go to the grocery store without worry about IBS or anxiety I'd be one happy Matthew.. seems so simple to want but...yeah...

I have been on antidepressants once back in 07' but back then I was still eating gluten/fructose which caused panic attacks and I didn't realize I was reacting to food.  I was only on it for a month but I do remember my anxiety going to super bezerk mode (mostly because of my diet..and the pills..) so I stopped paxil...

BUT THIS TIME I know I'm avoiding gluten and fructose so.. my theory is - this will give a chance to raise seretonin correctly and hopefully I'll be on antidepressants only short term (but I'll start slow like you said..good advice.. I'm ok going slow and patient here and I'll fight through the initial side effects... )

Anyway thank you so much for the information your post helped and gave me some good ideas - I... the Jazz arena idea... I'll talk to the girl tomorrow.. if she's ok with me running off to the restroom or pulling over to a gas station or walking around with a plastic bag... then I'm going.. or I'll try my best to go... we'll see :S  (am I excited to go?  nope..but.. like you said I gotta face my fears I don't want to end up a super hermit..well basically I am already but..)

ANYWAY thank you so much I hope your health is doing better these day and I appreciate the long response you gave me! Thanks! (and I will see a specialist if this doctor doesn't help..I'm fed up with this..)

[Matthew007]

Thanks paxiled - yeah from reading online about this and doing research - that's basically sums it up to... try and stay and defeat this the natural way if at all possible.. I don't want to be on antidepressants or be on pills at all.. so I'll keep trying ways to beat this IBS.  

I know IBS and anxiety seem to go hand in hand..almost like they can create each other so I'm hoping if I can just figure out one of the two - the other will cancel out. :S we'll see.. it's worth a shot I guess but hopefully it'll work.  I see the doctor after Christmas... :(

thanks for taking the time to answer my questions and your input!

[Matthew007]

ha thanks for the reply Irisbritney - yeah I WANT TO GO... but ugh.. it's so tempting and so hard at the same time.  :( hopefully you're anxiety is getting better...

but thanks for replying we'll see it's on the 27th :S blah.. wish I had a magic pill to get me through the night then it would be a no brainer :)

[nursegirl6572]

(CONTINUED....)

So, that would be my unofficial recommendation for you....trying an antidepressant, with a limited amount of an anxiolytic like Xanax (if needed)...along with CBT.  Just remember, you're NOT going to feel better overnight.  This is going to take time, the more patient you are with the process, and the more accepting you are that this DOES take time, the easier this all will be for you.  It's also normal to feel a little worse before we feel better, in terms of adjusting to the AD.  

Another recommendation I would have for you is to ask your doctor to start you out on a low dose of whatever AD you and the doc decide on, and gradually increase your dose over time.  The downside of that is that the process, getting to the desired level of effectiveness takes longer, but the upside is that you'll likely tolerate the medication better, and any side effects you may have will be more subtle, more easily tolerated.  If you DO start out on a low dose, with the plan to taper up, just keep in mind that IF you have any start up side effects, it's likely that you'll see a reemergence of those side effects each time you increase your dose.  The side effects don't last as long with dosage increases versus the initial stages, and they tend to get better the longer you're on the medication.  That was my experience anyway.

Common initial "start up" side effects could include an increase in anxiety, feeling jittery/shaky (like you drank WAY too much coffee), nausea, sleep disturbances (either drowsiness or insomnia), headaches, just to name a few.  Some people don't have ANY, some people have a lot, and they are severe.  The vast majority of people are kind of in the middle.  The anti-anxiety medications DO help a lot with those initial side effects (especially that jittery feeling).  

As for the concert....that's a tough one.  Even WITH my anxiety as well controlled as it's been, there are certain places that I almost always absolutely REFUSE to go....a concert would be on the top of that list.  That really IS an anxiety/panic sufferer's worst nightmare, for all of the reasons you listed.  I'm usually always one to recommend pushing oneself but, considering that your anxiety is not too great right now, and also considering that you seem to like this girl a good bit, I'd skip it.  Can you perhaps ask her out to do something else?  It sounds like she's interested, so I'd bet that she would be okay with that.  My advice would be to tell her that you cannot go to the concert (busy, whatever, you don't have to confide in her about your anxiety at this point)...but invite her instead to do something else...something your anxiety will allow you to tolerate and enjoy much much more.

Hang in there....and definitely keep us posted on how you're doing.  

[nursegirl6572]

HI there!  Glad you posted, sorry you're suffering with so much anxiety!

Your story is the same as SO many of ours.  Basically, you're dealing with all of the cruddy effects of anxiety.  IBS or IBS-like symptoms are common and often go hand in hand with anxiety for many people.  Myself, when my panic is bad, I'm literally a poop-a-phobe.  The MOMENT the anxiety starts to well up, I have to go to the bathroom.  That in turn triggers my panic in a HUGE way...you know that wicked cycle....anxiety---->symptoms------->more anxiety---->more symptoms, and so on and so on.  I get SO panicked about having an accident, not making it to the bathroom, etc etc, that almost any task outside of my house becomes if not impossible, VERY VERY uncomfortable.  It's awful, so I totally feel for you there.

One of my husband's good friends suffers from anxiety in a very similar way that you do, with the nausea.  Poor guy, when he was a teen, he was on a ride at an amusement park with a girl he really liked, and he ended up vomiting on the ride, all over him AND the girl...yikes.  He's 49 now, and no lie, he's never been on a date since then.  He has SEVERE social anxiety in those kinds of situations (around women).  So, you're definitely not alone.

The one thing I'll say is that it's GREAT that you're pushing yourself to do things, even when your anxiety is peaking.  That's just SO important.  The more things we avoid as a result of feeling so anxious, the worse we become, the less we do, until we basically become hermits.  It's really basic conditioning, or "fearing the fear".  The more we avoid things that cause us anxiety...the more that reinforces to our brain that there IS something to fear.  That will only make anxiety worse in the long run...so good for you that you're still pushing yourself, even when it's super uncomfortable.  That in itself is going to help you.

The TRUE key to overcoming all of this is with therapy, learning how to change that "what if" thinking cycle, learning to dismiss the anxious thoughts.  Now, that obviously doesn't happen overnight.  It takes time, and work.  CBT is really the best kind of therapy for this kind of thing IMO.  So, that's a must for starters.

As for medications, I agree with Paxiled that it shouldn't be a first line of defense, and shouldn't be taken lightly.  That being said, in my opinion, there are a few situations where I think medications are absolutely warranted...one, when a person has exhausted a lot of other possibilities, and two, when a person is struggling to have any type of quality of life day to day...in other words, when the anxiety has become debilitating...which , in my view, it has for you.  I think a combination of an antidepressant and therapy is a reasonable approach for you.

Have you ever taken any medication for your anxiety?  If not, I would recommend starting out with either Zoloft or Lexapro.  Those two antidepressants have very good track records, both with effectiveness, and also people's ability to tolerate the meds.  I would recommend trying Zoloft first, personally...but the Lexapro would be a good choice too.

There's just no way to know how a person is going to react to a medication unfortunately.  It really is a trial and error process, and also one that takes time.  One person's "miracle" drug is another person's nightmare. You have to allow your body to adjust, and get past any initial start up side effects (which are fairly common), and also, you have to allow enough time for the medication to start doing its thing, so that you start seeing obvious improvements in your anxiety.  

Medications like Xanax and Ativan can be a helpful component of an anxiety treatment plan also, either on an AS NEEDED basis (meaning you would ONLY take the med when your anxiety is very high, not regularly), or as a short term course of treatment, for a few weeks or so, until the antidepressant starts working.  Those are all things you'd want to discuss with your doctor (and I agree with Paxiled, seek out a psychiatrist to handle the medications).

My experience with antidepressants has been very good.  I've enjoyed a LOT of improvement with both Zoloft and Lexapro (at different times, obviously).  I went years without taking a medication, was only doing therapy, and stuff on my own.  My anxiety was not good.  I was not functioning well.  I struggled to even go to the store some days.  I had a lot of anticipatory anxiety, especially if I had to go somewhere kind of far from home.  I finally made the decision last fall to resume Zoloft, and I cannot express in words how GLAD I am that I did.  The adjustment wasn't wonderful, I had some side effects, but I managed and pushed through.  After about 8 weeks, my anxiety was SO much better.  Now, I'm pretty much anxiety free.  Situations that would have thrown me into a full blown panic attack a year ago (like a traffic jam) are literally nothing I even bat an eye at anymore.  It's truly crazy!  I can just get up and go, pretty much anywhere, without worrying and ruminating...and often times, blowing it off.  The Zoloft has controlled the symptoms of anxiety so so well.  I'm still in therapy, still go twice monthly, and have for years.  That's still a very important part of my treatment plan.  I STILL learn new things about myself and about my anxiety all of the time.  Learning coping techniques is one very very valuable aspect of therapy.....learning how to handle the anxiety/panic IN the moment.

(Continued.....)

[Paxiled]

First, I wouldn't go to a regular doc but to a psychiatrist who knows the drugs better for mental health.  Antidepressants can also upset the stomach for some people probably because serotonin and magnesium are both affected and are essential for proper functioning of the digestive system, but it can be dealt with better than what you're going through.  So just be aware of this so you can deal with it.  IBS can be greatly helped with simple natural remedies such as aloe vera juice, enteric coated peppermint capsules, DGL, and other things.  Many drugs can affect sexual performance so there's no way to know which ones would or wouldn't for you.  Some people have no side effects, some have a lot, some have too many to deal with.  You'll just have to find out if you decide to do meds.  The main one is to make it hard to ejaculate, in my experience -- takes a long time.  Not the worst thing in the world if you need to take a drug to live your life.  The quick fixes like Xanax aren't all that quick -- you do have to keep taking them if you don't solve the source of the problem in therapy and eventually they become a problem if you take them regularly, so if you do take them only use them when necessary.  Look, there's no magic bullet -- yes, there is research showing permanent damage from long-term use of antidepressants and benzos for some people whose brains can't adapt back to working naturally if you stop taking them.  But if you've exhausted everything else, medicine is always a cost/benefit thing.  There is no perfectly safe surgery or medication.  Most people do okay, some don't, but at some point you only have one life and you have to find a way to live it.  What I would do is exhaust everything else first, and if you've done that, and your life is still unliveable, well, you've got to do something.  

[Irisbritney]

I'm anti-social too. I literally run away from things like that! I've learned that it's better to just go through with it. You should definitely go on that date.. JUST DO IT! Lol I'm sure you'll forget all about that while you're having fun.

Sorry, I can't really answer any of your questions.I know nothing about meds because I never took any for the anxiety I had even though I was prescribed two different kinds.

[Matthew007]

woops sorry I wrote a long one people :S