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my 14 year old son has gone to live with his dad

My youngest son said he does not want to live with me anymore. I admitted to him on Tuesday that I was abused as a child, something I have kept hidden. My drinking has been out of control and I believe I should have got help sooner. My eldest son is angry too, he is 22, saying I am a disgrace as I have upset so many people, which is true. I am heartbroken and just want to hide away and cry. I want my son's back! What do I do? I have failed them so badly.
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Avatar universal
What have you done to them?  
Avatar universal
I have hurt them by telling them and was drinking a lot to block out the pain for years. I feel devastated and alone x
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Arlington, VA
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
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