my girl friend

[jman81]

me and my girl friend constantly argue. a good deal of it is due to my drinking. when i drink i get aggressive and careless. not physically abusive but very careless about what i say to her. but ive noticed she stays in a bad mood even when i do good. everything can be fine and she will just randomly say, whats wrong? why are things weird between us? and theyre not weird or akward for me at all. she always feel like there is something akward between us. she has times wheres shes randomly down in the dumps for no reason. ill be enthusiastic and nice to her and her only responses are yeah, and okay. and she just seems like she doesnt want to talk at all. she says she has no idea why she feels this way. like its just there. she just feels that way. whats wrong?

[jman81]

thank u for ur nice and appropriate answer. thanks for actually considering that im not the entire problem. thats good advice and i appreciate it.

[cheshchesh819]

wow a whole week how good are you,i am responding just to say i am not critizing,the truth often do offend and i stand by what i said.

[mammo]

Great advice from MMahon!

[MMahon]

Perhaps your girlfriend has come to the realization that 'constantly arguing' and drinking is just not worth it anymore.  Do you both drink to excess?  Do you also take medication while drinking?   Does your girlfriend have anxiety and other health issues too?
Why don't you try to arrange a time when both of you can sit down and speak frankly with one another.  Discus your problems sober and see if you both can make a commitment to working things out.  Perhaps couples counseling will be beneficial.   If she is unwilling then perhaps it's time to move on.  
Constant arguing, drinking and agressiveness are not good qualities and never lead to a lasting relationship.

[jman81]

if all u 2 were going to do was criticize me and get smart about it then maybe u shouldnt have taken time to respond at all. especially when u dont even understand what im saying about the situation. i never said the next day its all over, i can go a week without saying anything wrong to her and its the same thing. but dont either of u worry about replying to me anymore. go criticize someone else. okay? bye.

[cheshchesh819]

sorry jade that was meant for jman81,i totally agree with your answer sorry again

[cheshchesh819]

i agree your drinking is the course of this saying thing to her under drink and then just carrying on the next day like nothing has happened is really annoying to her,i think if you dont change sharpish your girlfriend will soon be gone,so instead of questioning whats up with her have a closer look at you

[Jade59]

Your girlfriend is sick of your drinking and behavior that comes with it.  She's put up with it long enough.  The bad is outweighing the good at this point for her and when you get *aggressive and careless* as you say; this hurts her and makes her angry and when you don't apologize or show her any respect by changing your habits to show her you love her, she shuts down.  She is not down in the dumps for *no reason* - she is angry with you because you never change!  

Things are not *weird or awkward for YOU because you were drunk and don't remember exactly what you did but SHE does.  The terrible things you say to her stays in her heart and makes her sad ALL the time and you being nice and acting like nothing ever happened doesn't cut it any more.