Psychologists don't bite. They will guide you. Some are good, some just sit and talk, but they are all used to talking to people. Your job when you see one is to work -- face what's bothering you, listen, and apply. It's not easy or quick. If your anxiety disorder is so bad you can't function your psychologist will refer you to a psychiatrist for medication, but it is better if you can fix it instead of just medicate it, but we all have to do what's best for us to have a life. But here's the thing about anxiety -- while it seems events are causing it, it's our way of thinking that causes it. Depressed people are depressed because they started thinking hopeless and down thoughts and didn't stop for so long it became their way of living. Anxious people exaggerate the consequences of things and act in a way that degrades rather than aids handling the bad things that happen to everyone. If you're lucky enough to live a long life you will watch a lot of loved ones die. Everyone feels grief from it. It's hard and it takes time for the grief to temper. It never completely goes away. If you magnify it and hold onto it too long it again becomes your way of living and thinking, something nobody who loved you and died would want you to live. You have to separate out the grief part of this from the anxiety part of it. Grief is normal and teaches us about loss. Anxiety is worthless and irrational and just gets in the way. A psychologist helps us when it works to learn this and internalize it so our brains accept not having anxiety is natural whereas right now your brain is telling you anxiety is normal. Now, they will also help you understand why someone else's death triggers thoughts in your of killing yourself. Are you afraid you can't cope without them? Because obviously you have survived your parents' death, right? You have in fact been able to cope, and so you will again with your brother. It will hurt but you will still have the things you love to do. It won't be all doom and gloom, it just seems like it because your brain right now is thinking that way but it doesn't have to. Finally, if you are truly suicidal, you can't really wait for a psychologist, you have to get more urgent care and probably that will mean medication. As for your heart, many people think anxiety attacks are heart problems. They almost never are, but it's good you got it checked out. I'm not sure what you mean by not "passing" the "test." It's a diagnostic tool, not a school exam. There's no passing or failing, there's just trying to determine if something physiological is going on to determine treatment. But talking to a psychologist is one of the easiest things you will ever do. It's the doing that's hard, not the talking. The grief will pass but slowly, but you do need to work on the why and the fix for the panic. Peace.