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unearable anxiety over hiv

Hi to start let me say that I truly appreciate this site in general as it has a wealth of knowledge and information. I recently seperated from my wife and went back on Zoloft and i am actually feeling worse than i was before. I am wondering if this can be a side effect for some people? Somewhere along the way i develpoed an obcession with being infected with hiv and i cant let it go, no matter what people say or tell me, what is wrong with me. So I tested negative again at the 13 week mark which 13 weeks was the last time I had what is considered risky HIV behavior. Since that time I briefly fingered someone in which there was no visible blood or cuts on my finger for about 10 seconds. That was 6 weeks ago. Then about 2 weeks ago i foolishly touched a tampon from the sanitar bin, again with no bleeding,cuts or tears. The last thing that freaked me out was I went into a gas staion and grabbed a pint of ice cream with one of those white plastic spoons and about 15 minutes later was eating it when I noticed what appeared to be a speck of blood on the spoon. The corner of my mouth had a tiny cut which was probably from the spoon itself! The last couple days my throat has been sore along with my glands and I feel really tired and worn down, I am wondering what the hell is wrong with me and can anyone else relate to these obcessive thoughts and feeling and give me some guidance and support, thank you!
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Avatar universal
I took Zoloft in the past and it worked great.  The next time I took it, not so great.  I had different side affects and my Dr said this was normal and was happy to change it for me.  So talk to your Dr about chaning your anti-depressant because your body CAN change in response to a medication, any medication
As for your anxiety about HIV, I think anyone who actually thinks they have contracted it would have this said anxiety.  But once you tested negative, don't you think that should have been answer enough?  You are negative for HIV, congrats!!!
Maybe you need to be treated for anxiety AND depression.  And yes, they are different treatments.  And just remember that none of us are Dr's and can only offer you our personal experience.  I was in no possible way exposed to HIV or Syphilis.  But because my recent health scare warranted an HIV and syphilis test to "rule it out" I was willing to take it and I was anxious about the results.  Its just one of those things that scares you regardless.
So talk to your Dr.  Take some deep breaths.  Jump for joy that you are negative.
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Avatar universal
No I did not find it rude,offensive or wrong and I thank you very much for taking the time for me. I realize hiv is not my problem but rather fear is my problem and I am currently seeking help. Thank you for the brutal honesty, I really do appreciate it.
Helpful - 0
370181 tn?1595629445
Let's begin with the Zoloft. If you've taken it in the past, tolerated it well and it helped, then there is no reason to think this time will be any different. Most of us go through some discomfort when starting an antidepressant. Perhaps you just don't remember that part. I don't know how long you've been on it so far, but it will take a few weeks to reach therapeutic levels and you begin to feel better. If it's been a month and you're still having difficulty with side effects, then you should discuss this with your doctor.

Since you don't tell us what you believe was "risky" sexual behavior, then I guess it was a good thing you got tested and I'm glad the test was negative.

Your next three "encounters" were ALL no risk situations.

You CANNOT contract HIV by fingering someone. And please, spare me the "no cuts, tears or bleeding" drama. Any fluids that happened to get on your hands would have been exposed to the air which renders HIV inactive within seconds. NO RISK

Then you accidentally touched a tampon from the Sanatin bin, once again with no cuts, tears or bleeding. (I seem to be a bit confused. Are you a man or a woman?) Either way, what were you doing rooting around in the tampon/kotex disposal box? Perhaps I'd rather not know. At any rate, the fact is that if any bood was on the tampon, it would have been rendered inactive within seconds after the person tossed it in there. NO RISK

Next we find you at a gas station buying ice cream which you were eating with a plastic spoon, when you suddenly noticed what "appeared" to be a speck of blood on the spoon, which may or may not have been what caused you to have a cut on the corner of your mouth. IF, and that is a massively huge "IF," the speck on the spoon had actually been blood, it would have been there long enough for the air to have rendered it inactive.
NO RISK.

Within days you began to develope symptoms of HIV.........sore throat, sore glands, tired and really worn down. Since HIV symptoms do not show up that soon, I'm guessing you may have caught a cold and just aren't getting enough rest staying up worrying about your HIV.

You're wondering what the hell is wrong with you. Well, from what you've written here, you definitely have HIV Anxiety and there are millions of people who can relate to the obssessive thoughts & feelings.

As for "guidance and support," get into therapy to deal with your HIV Anxiety and in your spare time, begin getting yourself educated about HIV/AIDS. Spend as much time as you can reading our HIV Prevention Forum and within weeks you will have learned enough to realize that if you had known enough about HIV, you would never have had to write this post. Knowledge IS power and it's all yours for free.................

If you should happen to find my response rude, wrong or offensive, please cut and paste it over to our HIV Prevention Forum and have Teak or Lizzie review it.
Greenlydia    
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Arlington, VA
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
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