5017003 tn?1362381622

Advice needed please

My brother now at the age of 21 was diagnosed with asburgers 2 years ago.  He plays world of war craft continuously. He gets the tamptrums he refuses to live life alone and is very very smart but had horrible grades. He took the act got almost a 30 without even trying just to prove a point to my mother but yet he made d’s and f’s in school he never had friends nor has he ever had a girl friend. He can be extremely well behaved until anything changes in his life then he acts badly just like a child. he is now living with me because he scares my mother with his tantrums he really dose not know his own strength he has accidently broken doors and other things without even knowing what he has done. I have tried to help him get a job he does not say no but he starts making out this list saying that he can’t work with a lot of people or money or food. He refuses to drive he is extremely afraid of it almost passes out in a driver seat without the car ever being on. He was first diagnosed when he was younger with ADHD and ADD because he had to go to a specialist over hitting his preschool teacher over her head with a chair. We all just thought he was sico until the year before last when we took him to a therapist (bribed him) who assured us that he had asburgers. I got on here looking for advise me and my husband have been married for a year and I love my brother but he just can’t live with us forever I have tried my hardest to get him some dependency on his own but today he told me that he will not live by himself that if we made him move that it would just make him kill himself because he can’t be by himself. I needed advice on how to handle a asburgers person in this circumstance or how to get him to venture in the outside world like get a job or just have a relationship with someone anyone I know in my heart that if he just found the right person or the right job he would be fine he would find the meaning to it all I guess that is what I am trying to say. If you have any pointers anything at all please let me know.  Also I have tried to get him government help like insurance and or a check they told me that a person with asburgers could live a normal life that there is no reason why he could not get a job or support his self that’s what they told me to my face and I am the kind of person that would never ask from the government but yea that’s what they said. If they only knew I can’t even get my brother out of the house he refuses to leave he has to be bribed (kind of like reverse sociology if he thinks it is his idea then he will try it) to do anything I just need help or advise or something. Please help.
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136956 tn?1425606272
You can't change someone with Aspergers but you can work with them. Know what their triggers are and set guidelines. Seeing how he is 21 that might be hard but if he is living at home he should be following some rules.

People with Aspergers are smarter than people thing and it sounds like your brothers social skills are where he lacks the most. He can try to take communication classes I am not sure how that works in different countries but there is not a lot of money that goes into the programs for people with Autism.

Most aspergers like to do the same thing over and over and over again and don't like to be uninterrupted. They have obsessions such as is war craft for him.

It is not to say he couldnt get a normal job but because of his tendencies it could be hard for him to keep it however if the job was the same thing over and over again he might like that kind of routine.

I am not an expert on this at all, but I have read a lot about it and I often thought that I had aspergers for a long time.

He really should be your parents responsibility but he seems to be yours and your husband, why is that?

I know you love him and you are trying to do the best you can and at times aspergers children and adults are hard to understand and people will often get annoyed when they just have to learn more about what makes him/her tick..
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Avatar universal
I am going through the same thing with my son who is 20. He has become more and more angry since he lost his job and was disgnosed wiht mood nad personality disorder after a suicide threat landed him in  hospital.  Now the Dr. has added the Aspergers diasnosis onto that (I have said ofr years that was what he has but no help from Dr.). He refuses to get a job and did start school only to be IVC the following week and the school wouldn't refund me any of his tuition.  The stress placed on my by the hospital he is at to let him come home is immense but he is there because he has thoughts of hurting me.
Good luck to you and I would advise to get him into any vocation rehab and any outpatient help there is in your area.
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