Unsure of what to do ??

[HISmommy34]

Hello I am a mom of an 8 year old boy. He is such a gem and a sweetie but I have alot of concerns about him. Since early childhood ha has been different. He was really into legos and patterns and lining toys up. He had fine and gross motor issues fro the beginning and still to this day. He had delayed speech and still receives therapy for it. He had a hard time writing and holding a pencil, he still cant ride a bike or catch well to this day. He has a very hard time with balance. We have put him in martial arts and that has improved his balance so much.  He doesn't like eye contact at all. I have done personal stuff to get him comfortable with things he wasn't comfortable with -- he used to be afraid of sounds and covers his ears; he doesn't anymore and he used to receptively shake his head no when uncomfortable and we have taught him other ways to tell us he is stressed.
Teachers often tell me they love him cause he is sweet and is a good boy but he just is to the beat of his own drum  or has out of this world type personality. I have tested him before and they said that he does have many markers but not enough to diagnose him with mild aspergers... that he would either continue to lack and then they would be able to diagnose him or he would mature out of it FRUSTRATED ! I don't think he will grow out of his clumsiness or his lack of eye contact and his social awkwardness -- granted everyone likes him but he is often awkward and has a hard time reading ppls social cues of being hurt or uninterested  I NEED HELP! I am a nurse but autism is not my specialty -- I dont know how to deal with his tantrums and I dont know how to deal with social improvements -- i don't know how to teach him to make simple conversation that is relevant -- he often talks about stuff and enjoys telling stories  but is uninterested in finding out how you are or how your day is-- What can i do ?

[Jason C Bourret, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

There are many, many parents like you with children who almost meet criteria for diagnosis. Certainly consider having him reassessed if you feel that the difficulties he’s having haven’t being adequately seen by previous professionals who assessed him. Perhaps the most important advice I can give you is that a diagnosis is just a label, not a solution. If he’s struggling in some areas, seek out services to help him in those areas. Things like poor eye contact, tantruming, gross motor, fine motor, and speech delays can all be addressed. It sounds like he’s already receiving some services but find more for him if he has challenges that his current services aren’t targeting. There are behavior analysts and therapists who have experience working with children just like your son and remarkable progress can be made. Treat each of his challenges individually and do your best to find services to address each of them.  

[desperateandsuffering]

Dear concerned Mommy, I understand and totally relate to your concerns concerning your son.  I am the grandmother of a 7 year old little boy who demonstrates many of the exact characteristics that you indicate are present in your son.  My grandson has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.  However, in addition to the similarilies that the two boys share, my grandson is deaf, mute, has a sleeping and eating disorder, is severely developmentally delayed (cognitively functions are that of an 18 month old).  He also has failed to intergrate socially and appears to be in a world of his own.  He too is a sweet an lovable little fellow, unfortunately, he does not interact socially enough with anyone for one to realize just how lovable he truly is.  Further, my grandson is a true miracle and blessing from God as he has never eaten food of any type a day in his life.  Where it not for Pedia Sure, I shudder to think what would happen to him as it is his only source of nutrients.  It can be extremely frustrating when you have one of these truly special gifts from God, and physician, therapist, etc., seem to have little or no understanding of them.  Just no that you are not alone, if it is okay with you, I would like to list you as a friend and perhaps we can share in some of the interventions that we have experienced and the outcome thereof.

Good Luck and God will continue to bless you and your special little one.

[HISmommy34]

Do i have valid concerns ? Am i just being paranoid -- that is how the doctors treat me as if I am paranoid or just over parenting -- teachers think i want something to be wrong with him -- i just want to learn how to teach my son better -- I want him to be able to feel like he belongs and that he is okay -- he notices he is different and i want to foster self confidence in him -- in his lil head and his lil heart -- i just really am lost trying to teach him stuff that comes naturally to me and doctor and teachers and therapist have not helped me ! please let me know your thoughts!