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My grandson's obsession with internet games a problem
hi,
my grandson age 14 has an obsession with internet games, he plays from morning till night if he can & sometimes has been caught up playing during the night. He is home schooled because of problems in the school. He gets very agitated when things don't go his way or if you try to limit him on the internet game time. His games are of fighting & conquering. He does quite well at this on virual games. His IQ is 134. but is it Ok for him to spend all his time on this, I have tried to interest him in books, playing outdoors, we even went to Disney World for a week over Thanksgiving, doing the roller coasters, etc.Says the rides are Ok but to short & was bored alot. He just wanted to be back home for his internet games. We did see Indiana Jones show, now he wants to work with explosives like in the show stunts.
Can you offer any advise or solution ??
Much appreciated,
Gram-ma Betty
my grandson age 14 has an obsession with internet games, he plays from morning till night if he can & sometimes has been caught up playing during the night. He is home schooled because of problems in the school. He gets very agitated when things don't go his way or if you try to limit him on the internet game time. His games are of fighting & conquering. He does quite well at this on virual games. His IQ is 134. but is it Ok for him to spend all his time on this, I have tried to interest him in books, playing outdoors, we even went to Disney World for a week over Thanksgiving, doing the roller coasters, etc.Says the rides are Ok but to short & was bored alot. He just wanted to be back home for his internet games. We did see Indiana Jones show, now he wants to work with explosives like in the show stunts.
Can you offer any advise or solution ??
Much appreciated,
Gram-ma Betty
I agree with MaryannesMom. Working through their interests is the motivator.
Regarding education you have to find out what you and the child's educational rights are by law. There are all the supports out there, but if you don't push for them and demand them as a legal right, no one is going to offer them to you on a plate. Unfortunately everything is run on budgets and therefore it is not in their interests to find out what his needs are and offer the supports for him to be successful in school/college or university.
I'm in the UK, so I don't know what the Autistic Society of America is like for information and advice, but it might be a starting point to send you in the right direction.
Always remember to put requests in writing and always follow up any verbal or telephone communication with the school etc with a letter confirming what was discussed and what was agreed. That is your legal evidence incase you ever need to go to an educational tribunal. It proves that you asked and they didn't meet this childs needs. That proves they acted illegally.
I think that Speech and Language Therapists should be much more involved with children with Aspergers, but they are considered too able because they can speak. But they have many language and social interaction/communication difficulties with things like echolalia, Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder, poor auditory memory and auditory processing. All these things impact on education and social interaction and the SALT is responsible for this area and should be putting teaching supports in place (eg. written notes instead of just verbal ones, a scribe to take down notes for them if they cannot read and listen at the same time, voice activated computer programmes if writing and typing is difficult etc. They should also be putting into place social interaction groups where there can be role play teaching basic social skills.
You are on the right track even to be on this forum asking questions. You don't need to apologise for this child's behaviour or be grateful for any morsal of help they provide. This is a medical condition that is for life and this child will need these supports throughout his life. Get clued up, and start demanding your rights.
Regarding education you have to find out what you and the child's educational rights are by law. There are all the supports out there, but if you don't push for them and demand them as a legal right, no one is going to offer them to you on a plate. Unfortunately everything is run on budgets and therefore it is not in their interests to find out what his needs are and offer the supports for him to be successful in school/college or university.
I'm in the UK, so I don't know what the Autistic Society of America is like for information and advice, but it might be a starting point to send you in the right direction.
Always remember to put requests in writing and always follow up any verbal or telephone communication with the school etc with a letter confirming what was discussed and what was agreed. That is your legal evidence incase you ever need to go to an educational tribunal. It proves that you asked and they didn't meet this childs needs. That proves they acted illegally.
I think that Speech and Language Therapists should be much more involved with children with Aspergers, but they are considered too able because they can speak. But they have many language and social interaction/communication difficulties with things like echolalia, Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder, poor auditory memory and auditory processing. All these things impact on education and social interaction and the SALT is responsible for this area and should be putting teaching supports in place (eg. written notes instead of just verbal ones, a scribe to take down notes for them if they cannot read and listen at the same time, voice activated computer programmes if writing and typing is difficult etc. They should also be putting into place social interaction groups where there can be role play teaching basic social skills.
You are on the right track even to be on this forum asking questions. You don't need to apologise for this child's behaviour or be grateful for any morsal of help they provide. This is a medical condition that is for life and this child will need these supports throughout his life. Get clued up, and start demanding your rights.
I would also like to add that Aspies are never going to be "typical" or "normal". At this point I would be focusing on his interest--video games--and trying to figure out how to make him as successful as he can in life. There are now colleges that offer degrees in video game programming. He would probably be awesome at it! He could probably pass a GED if you could get him to take it. Maybe if he knew he could be done with "school" and go on to to study his interests and one day make money off it, it may be a motivator. As a society we have lost the fact that we have interests and gifts because they are what we're supposed to be doing. No wonder so many people are unhappy with their careers.
I know alot of parents have to resort to home schooling.
But there are laws out there. Sometimes if you involve a solicitor and can prove that the state cannot provide an education for your child to meet his needs, you can get the state to pay for private education. SueNYC has done that. I don't know if that would be useful in your circumstances.
As he is being homeschooled, does that mean that professionals such as Speech and Language Therapist and Educational Psychologist come out to your house? Or do they try not to do anything at all? Again find out what is your legal rights. Those children that are home schooled need more input in areas such as social communication and interaction. Again this is best addressed through using their interests, but a qualified professional SALT should be helping you and your family with this. They can't expect every family to be experienced in all areas to the level of the professionals, that is unrealistic.
For example, there will certainly be other families in your area with exactly the same issues. You could form a club where parents can meet eachother and children can socialise through computer games or visiting eachothers houses etc. These are all life skills that these children need to learn because as adults they will have to interact with the outside world. Don't feel bad or guilty about that - get angry and start demanding that these needs are met. If you take on full responsibility for every aspect of this childs educational and social development the state will be more than happy to let you get on with it because it saves them money.
But there are laws out there. Sometimes if you involve a solicitor and can prove that the state cannot provide an education for your child to meet his needs, you can get the state to pay for private education. SueNYC has done that. I don't know if that would be useful in your circumstances.
As he is being homeschooled, does that mean that professionals such as Speech and Language Therapist and Educational Psychologist come out to your house? Or do they try not to do anything at all? Again find out what is your legal rights. Those children that are home schooled need more input in areas such as social communication and interaction. Again this is best addressed through using their interests, but a qualified professional SALT should be helping you and your family with this. They can't expect every family to be experienced in all areas to the level of the professionals, that is unrealistic.
For example, there will certainly be other families in your area with exactly the same issues. You could form a club where parents can meet eachother and children can socialise through computer games or visiting eachothers houses etc. These are all life skills that these children need to learn because as adults they will have to interact with the outside world. Don't feel bad or guilty about that - get angry and start demanding that these needs are met. If you take on full responsibility for every aspect of this childs educational and social development the state will be more than happy to let you get on with it because it saves them money.
Hi Sally44,
Thank for your interest. Our local schools were tried Kindergarten thru 7 th grade with great difficulty with the school district. No matter how much was demanded, it didn't work. Even had IEP meetings! Teachers just said he was a misbehaved child & not corrected within the family. There is very little autisum support in my area. With much frustation with the schools we are now home schooling for the second year. We are from a small town with little support system in place in our community. Here in America there is 1 autisic child out of every 150 children ! Some of our actress & actors are now coming forward to try & help to find out what is happening in our society to cause this problem, Mercury in baby shots, Our emviroment, born with it??
It certainly is a frustrating problem! No child should have to live with this greaded ailment.
Thank for your interest. Our local schools were tried Kindergarten thru 7 th grade with great difficulty with the school district. No matter how much was demanded, it didn't work. Even had IEP meetings! Teachers just said he was a misbehaved child & not corrected within the family. There is very little autisum support in my area. With much frustation with the schools we are now home schooling for the second year. We are from a small town with little support system in place in our community. Here in America there is 1 autisic child out of every 150 children ! Some of our actress & actors are now coming forward to try & help to find out what is happening in our society to cause this problem, Mercury in baby shots, Our emviroment, born with it??
It certainly is a frustrating problem! No child should have to live with this greaded ailment.
Also, you need to know that just because your school does not have the knowledge to deal with Aspergers, they are REQUIRED BY LAW to get that knowledge, or send that child somewhere that does have the knowledge. And that could mean to another state, to a private school, whatever--at their cost! We had that issue. Our local school could not deal with my daugther. Luckily we found a school within our intermediate school district that works, but our local school is required to transport her there, and they pay that school, too. I have heard of cases where a public school pays for specialized private school for children they cannot education. That is their duty.
Go to Google.com and type in video game degree. There are alot of online degree programs. He probably wouldn't even have to a have a GED to do that. Try calling a local college and see if they have a program. They should be able to direct you to a college that does, if they don't. You will have to check locally about the GED requirements, but there are many other smart, young kids who have graduated and go to college, so I would think he would be able to. Especially with his diagnosis. If he does go to a college (not do it online), many colleges now work with students with special needs to make accomodations for their diability so they will be successful. Good luck to you and keep us posted!
Hi,
Thank you so much for the info. I believe you have aimed us in a direction that may be the answer. But can my grandson take a GED at age 14? Also do you know of any colleges that give a degree in video, we live in Pa. We don't have a school here for aspergers & our local schools don't have the knowledge on how to help these types of children. Any further info would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much,
Gram-ma Betty
Thank you so much for the info. I believe you have aimed us in a direction that may be the answer. But can my grandson take a GED at age 14? Also do you know of any colleges that give a degree in video, we live in Pa. We don't have a school here for aspergers & our local schools don't have the knowledge on how to help these types of children. Any further info would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much,
Gram-ma Betty
I sympathize with you. I have an 11 year old Aspie daugther--same IQ and issues. She does like video games, but spends most of her time online, endlessly researching whatever interests her at the moment. Until you live with an Aspie, you don't understand that you cannot force them to do anything they don't want to do, and they do not like things that "typical" kids their age do. I understand leaving the public school to homeschool. I homeschooled for 4 years. My daugther is now in a public school contained classroom that totally understands Asperger's, so she is allowed to be herself, while they continuously work on social rules and interactions. Academics isn't even involved here--she is so far ahead of everyone anyway (she does do some work, but it is way below her level). The program has been so good for her that we kept her back this year in the classroom. Even being around other Aspies, and others with different diagnoses, has really helped her see herself, and have compassion for others who are different. We don't know what we're going to do next year though. If you could find a program like this for your grandson, that would be great for him. But I know how difficult it is to find as they are so few and far between. Good luck to you.
Hello Rachel,
In response to your answer, There is no internet or any other games in his bedroom. Never has been. He does play it in the living room with family members around. Sometimes he sneaks to the living room during the night. We have tried board games where there is interaction with others but this doesn't last long. He has shown interest in wanting to study Astronomy,earth sciences, or genetics, We have encouraged using the internet to read about these topics instead playing the games. We have also gone to the library for information on the same but he gets other books that are fiction.He even thought Walt Disney World was boring.
He does not mix well with others, He is more of a loner, nosies upset him.He is very strong minded. His social skills are lacking. If he feels anyone is wrong in any conversation he hears he promptly correct you. When he was in the school system he would correct any teacher that he thought was making an error.
He was tested in first grade & results were astounding. His math at age 6 was of a 16 year old. School subjects at this present time are beyond high school level, but not doing well because they are boring.
His IQ is so high he can accomplish anything if we could just get him interested in a subject. To force him just makes him more angry.
Gram-ma Betty
In response to your answer, There is no internet or any other games in his bedroom. Never has been. He does play it in the living room with family members around. Sometimes he sneaks to the living room during the night. We have tried board games where there is interaction with others but this doesn't last long. He has shown interest in wanting to study Astronomy,earth sciences, or genetics, We have encouraged using the internet to read about these topics instead playing the games. We have also gone to the library for information on the same but he gets other books that are fiction.He even thought Walt Disney World was boring.
He does not mix well with others, He is more of a loner, nosies upset him.He is very strong minded. His social skills are lacking. If he feels anyone is wrong in any conversation he hears he promptly correct you. When he was in the school system he would correct any teacher that he thought was making an error.
He was tested in first grade & results were astounding. His math at age 6 was of a 16 year old. School subjects at this present time are beyond high school level, but not doing well because they are boring.
His IQ is so high he can accomplish anything if we could just get him interested in a subject. To force him just makes him more angry.
Gram-ma Betty
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I strongly recommend that you limit access to video games and continue to expose your grandson to other activities that are of interest to children his age. He is probably more successful with video games than he is during other activities, especially those that are socially challenging. So, it makes sense that he wants to spend time playing video games. But, his opportunities to exand his interests and skills will be limited if he is allowed to only play these games. The video game probably should be removed from his bedroom so that you can limit his access. Placing the game in a common living area also provides the opportunity for playing video games to become more of a social activity.
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