Does my duaghter have autism ?

[frustratedmother60]

I have one daughter 16years old and one son 14 years old. My daughter, since grade 7 started showing signs of not being normal, lost all her friends and they all became her enemies, one girl even hit her very badly and the school didn’t do anything. And my daughter didn’t know how to react and defend herself. now since last year , which was grade 10 , and now in grade 11 , her grades have gone from A's to D's . She keeps on repeating her mistakes , although she tells me she knows where her mistakes are but she does them again ?
she has no value for time , waste the whole day and start studying at 1 in the morning then she starts crying for she doesnt have enough time , she concentrates on stupid things and irralavent thing and leaves the important things .
She keeps on calling people for papers and notes , and I keep on asking her , wherent you in the class?
how come you didnt get the papers? and why didnt you take the notes ? why do you have to ask other people ?
I believe she is not concentrating at all now , and she keeps on loosing her books , calculaters and notes .
she goes to school then calls me to bring her stuff that she forgot at home . she keeps on loosing her money . she is now 16, and all of a sudden became like a baby again ? looses things , cant concentrate , no value for time, she schedules, then reschedule and re -schedule and I am the one who has to do the scheduling , for she asks me to . I tell her it all depends on her ability to read fast and concentration but she tells me to do it .
she want to be the best and don’t know how , she is always taling about  league universities and dreams of scholarship , She has very high expectation of herself and yet she cant cope with the simplest homework after she was so bright
I have to set with her in everything , she cant work independently , and does not have any self confidence . sometimes up to 5 in the morning, she lacks concentration the whole day although she is setting in front of the book the whole day and only starts to sprinting, as I call it , studying  at 1 in the morning. She keeps on coming to me for help, somtimes I have to read thing for her for she is too frustrated with herself . I hear her scream at herself at night and she runs and asks for help . I feel I am doing 11th grade allover again , actually i have done 9,10,11 now with her .
She doesn’t have not one friend although she tries very hard. She is very nice and beautiful and she knows it. But girls and boys in the school hate her and harass her. She wishes she has one boy friend but none asked her.
I know she has problem.
Last year we discovered that she has scoliosis which makes me feel like a very bad mother,  we felt it was our mistake that we didn’t see it when she was 10 or 8. They put for her a brace that she wears to school, and now kids in the school , call her the “thing" on face book.
I wish I can do something, I know she has a problem because both ants and uncle from her father side have OCD. And now my husband’s niece is labelled  "crazy" she started showing abnormal signs at the age of 17 where she sees herself as a monstor. She couldn’t finish high school and she is in hiding all the time. So I believe it runs in the family
My son is very smart and independent and every one likes him in the same school as my daughter and no believe that my daughter is his sister. He is an A , student and I hope he will not change like his sister . Sometimes she drives me crazy when she is just fooling around and ythen i discover that she has alot to do for school, so once I told her I want you to look at your brother eat fast like him study fast like him , so you can have time to enjoy your day , talk to people or watch tv, or just set and chat with me .
I love her very much, I wish I can do more then just give her advices and console her about school or teach her . we don’t have the proper psychiatrist in my country and she would be labeled like her cousin. I don’t know what to do?
Please help

[Sally44]

From your post you seem to be suggesting that development was normal until what age?
Did she have any speech problems.
Can she interact with her peers or does she have problems - give examples.
It sounds like she has difficulties with time, organising and sequencing things.  Have a look at Executive Function Disorder and see if that sounds relevant.
If she also has difficulties with attention then it might be worth looking at ADD.
As it is having such an effect on you and your daughter, I think it would be sensible to get it checked out.  Go to your GP and tell him of your concerns.  Ask for a referal to a multi disciplinary team because she has problems with making/keeping friends (though that might not actually be her problem, but needs checking), and that you are having to do one to one support at home to keep her on track at school.  
In the meantime write down examples of things she can and cannot do.
Is she still being bullied?  Continual bullying can also cause problems with concentration and attention.

[frustratedmother60]

hello
I forgot to add one point , my duaghter has a big problem with lights
I have changed the lights in her room 2 times , first the color , then again the color and arrangment, she keeps on closing her eyes although it is normal for all of us and she says it gives her headack ?