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172023 tn?1334672284

I don't have an Angel, but....

I don't have an angel, but do deal with this heartbreaking tragedy often at work (Labor and Delivery).

I have a question for you all...What did the nurse do or not do, that made your ordeal better....or worse?  I'd really like to know, if that is ok with all of you.  

Did you find your doctor sympathetic and caring, or cold and unfeeling?

Did it ultimately help or hurt you to have pictures, if they were available.
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229760 tn?1291467870
Hey Peek! Thanks for joining! And oh man thanks for being such a caring nurse!!!!!

Cooper passed away when he was 7 wks old so my experience is a different then those who's Angels passed away right after birth.  

Cooper passed away at the PICU at Children's Hospital. He had the most amazing nurses and doctors. They loved Coop so much they would even come sit with him on their days off!!! They would fight to have him when they were scheduled to work and they even started a buddy list for him. We have all their email addresses and still keep in touch. This made the experience so memorable.  They truly loved him and our family so much!!!!!

As for the pictures we have a ton and they are all over the house. I have even made him a Baby Scrapbook with his pictures. I can't imagine not having them.  

Thanks again for caring!! You know I always love hearing from you!!!!
Helpful - 0
693804 tn?1304720474
Hi peekawho! It really doesn't matter if you have an Angel Baby or not, it's your support that matters :)

I lost Salvatore when I was 5 months pregnant, I was induced and delivered on 10/17/08. My Dr. and the nurses were amazing. I had no clue what the process was going to involve, but they treated the delivery no different given the circumstances. They offered my DH to cut the cord, cleaned him up, wrapped him in a warm blanket, held him with such TLC and then handed him to me gently. I got to hold him for a few hours before they had to take him. Later that morning my mom came and was upset that she didn't get to see him so my sister went to the nurses station and they brought him back for my parents to spend some time with him. We had our camera and took some pictures, which I will cherish forever. I keep his teddybear urn in my room and give it a squeeze everyday. Thanks for your care and support.
Helpful - 0
172023 tn?1334672284
We have this beautiful ceramic necklace we give to all mothers experiencing a loss...a heart within a heart sort of necklace.  The smaller, inner heart detaches, and the mother takes it, and gives it to the baby, to go with the baby to his/her forever resting place.
That way, the baby always will have a symbol of his/her mothers love and devotion forever.

It never fails to make me break down and cry, to watch this take place.  

I feel like the fathers are so left out, though.  How do men cope with loss?  I'm afraid they keep everything inside, and try to be strong.  I wonder, in the end, what happens.
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
My husband did keep it inside until we went to counseling.  Thank goodness he opened up then. That was our true road to recovery!

By the way the necklace is such a beautiful idea! You must work at one special place!
Helpful - 0
693804 tn?1304720474
peekawho, you are so right about the fathers. I was pretty much catered to during my loss and my DH was left to be the strong one. He needed to mourn the loss to, but I think he felt that he had to be strong for me. He had a very hard time after my delivery, but he continued to be my rock. I have 2 mother/child necklaces, I wear mine everyday and the other is in a velvet heart in the arms of his teddybear urn, and your right, it is a symbol of my love and devotion forever.
Helpful - 0
172023 tn?1334672284
We pretty much just give the fathers a book called Men Grieve, too.   And that's about it.  I wish it were different.
Helpful - 0
667409 tn?1309152183
When Ian passed the hospital gave us one of those hearts, too...they also made a beautiful thing - kind of like a scrapbook page - with his hand and footprints and his name and a lock of his hair. We are going to get it beautifully framed and hang it at our new house.

As for the nurses...there was one nurse, in particular, who was so wonderful. We had made the decision to turn off life support the next morning. So that whole night I couldn't sleep and just felt the need to talk...to talk about Ian, and nursing him, and I had so many questions. And she was so patient...the greatest thing she did was just listen to me and understand. And she included me in everything I could be a part of...putting ointment on Ian's lips (he had a breathing tube), rubbing lotion on his feet, arranging his blankets. She encouraged me to talk to him and touch him. She truly was an angel and I will never forget her.

The way the doctors handled everything was very respectful...when they removed all the tubes and wired and wrapped Ian up and handed him to us, they all left the room...turned off the overhead lights and made it warm and cozy. Got us comfortable chairs. And then just left us alone with our baby. They didn't hurry us and told us to take as much time as we needed. And when the doctor who was in charge came in to check his heartbeat to see if he had passed, she was quiet and loving. She reminded me of a caring aunt or something. When he finally passed she quietly told us, with tears in her eyes, "He's gone." Then she hugged us and left the room.

Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
Oh Trish, I can hardly type I am crying so bad. What a truly loving thing they did for your sweet little Ian.  You are so brave and so strong.....now it is Ian's turn to hold you!

It's these kinds of people that we will never forget! They have a true calling.

Thank you God, for putting these people in our lives!
Helpful - 0
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