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229760 tn?1291467870

Tell us about your Angel!

My little Angels name is Cooper. He was born on June 6th, 2008. He was born with a heart condition called HLHS. We found out about his condition at his 18 wk ultrasound. Of course our world was shattered but we were prepared to fight!

The day after Cooper was born he was taken to Children's Hospital. It was there that we met the most amazing nurses and doctors. We could not have asked for more loving people. After two weeks in the NICU, Cooper underwent his first open-heart surgery. Sadly things did not go so well so they had to operate a total of three more times. On July 23rd his doctors told us that he was not going to make it and we had to make a decision. I was not prepared for this at all.  Thankfully my brave little Angel made this decision for us.  He was in my arms the last time he took his last breath.  His chest was still open from his surgery and I could see his little heart stop beating.  At that point my world had ended. I was ready to leave this world and be with him again.

It has been a little over a year since my little man became an Angel and I know he has never left my side.  Through the help of my husband, my family, my counselor and my support group, I can now smile again!  Cooper  blessed us with so much! He even gave us his little brother! Cruz Cooper was born on August 11th, 2009! This little guy will grow up to know all about the love and hope his brother brought into this world!!!

I have plenty of pictures of Cooper on my profile page, so feel free to look at my beautiful little angel!

Thank you for reading my story and thank you for sharing yours with me!
32 Responses
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503649 tn?1304357466
Wow Rachel....I had no idea you could actually see Angle Cooper's heart stop beating, so heart crushing for you.  You're such a strong woman and now you have such a beautiful baby that Angle Cooper sent to you.  As I always say..."Things Happen for a Reason"

Love Ya
Debbie
Helpful - 0
439903 tn?1380137882
Hi, my name is Amberlee and my Angel's name is Aidyn. After 21/2 years of trying on our own, my husband and i went to see a fertility Dr. We had one failed IUI and one successful IVF cycle. We ended up getting twins but sadly miscarried one at 6 weeks. My Drs watched me very closely and finally after 12 weeks said that everything was fine and took me off high risk. They didnt see anything that could have possibly indicated what was going to happen.

At 20 weeks, 2 days we decided to register for our shower. After leaving Target, i started having contractions. Everyone i talked to said that it was too early for anything other then Braxton Hicks and gave some remedies to make them stop. Well they all worked so i assumed i was fine. The next morning at church my contractions started again. I again thought, BH. We went to In-N-Out for lunch and as we were eating, i told my husband, something seemed wrong. We couldnt get ahold of any of my Drs so we went to the ER where they first said i was fine and almost sent me home. The on call OB asked for an internal exam where they discovered my amniotic sac bulging. My sons foot was in my cervix and at that point, there was nothing they could do but keep me there hoping that if i laid flat in bed for at least a few more weeks, he might have a chance if he was born. God had other plans that night because at 11:36pm on September 28, 2008, Aidyn Denen was born. Perfect in every way. They said he lived for about 3 minutes or so after they cut the cord. I remember that night like it was last night and yet on Monday, it will be one year.

The Drs told us that there would be no way we would be able to have a baby again without Dr intervention. I am Proud to say that they were wrong and like Rachel, we were blessed with the help of our Guardian Angel with a healthy baby boy 10 days ago. Bryce Deran is our earth Angel and Aidyn is in Heaven but with us every second of everyday. Without His sacrifice, Bryce would not be here. The Lord does some amazing things and i hope my story brings hope to those who have none at the moment!! I as well have pictures up of my sweet Angel Aidyn. Please take a look if you wish.

Thank you for reading.
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
Thank you so much for sharing. Your story made me cry all over again.  God Bless Baby Angel Aidyn!
Helpful - 0
449498 tn?1338772039
My little Angel's name is Kayln. After going through a m/c in Dec. 2005, we were suprised to find out we were pregnant again at our RE's office the first month we went! No medicine even needed, a complete suprise! I went to have a HSG test done to find out why we weren't pregnant yet after almost a year, and to everyone's suprise, during the test, there was a sac in my uterus! My RE rushed me over to his office where a pregnancy test and u/s were done! And there on the screen was my little peanut, with her heart just beating away! I'll never forget that day, it was the happiest day of my life! Although we were told to be cautious b/c of the threat of m/c now (because of the dye) we remained optimistic, and she was a fighter, she held on!

At 35 weeks, I started to have contractions at work, so I immediately called my doctor and of course talked to the nurse instead. She told me it was BH, and to go home and lay down, that it was normal. So it being my first delivery, I listened, and they did go away. The next day, I felt fine so I went to work. My vision became very, very blurred and the lights seemed SO bright, like I was staring right at the sun. (Later, I came to learn this was a sign of what happened to our baby.) It only lasted for a few minutes, and then everything returned to normal. I had no idea what to think, and stupidly did not call my doctor...

Two days later, it was our work Christmas party, December 16th. I woke up that morning, on my own, which I immediately thought odd because usually Kayln woke me up. I just assumed she was still sleeping, so I went on about my day and started to clean the house. When I would sit down for mini-breaks, she still was not moving. And then I really thought that was odd, because she always moved when I sat down... But again, didn't call my doctor... By 5:00 that night, I still hadn't felt her move, so I called the ER. They told me to drink some soda to get her moving, which didn't work b/c soda makes me sick so I could only drink a few sips. A couple hours later, we decided it was time to go to the ER, and we recieved the worst news of our lives! They rushed us up to L&D, put the contraction belt and h/b belt on my belly, and there was no h/b! An u/s confirmed that our sweet Kayln was no longer alive. My husband and I were devestated, words can't even describe the feeling you have when a doctor you don't even know looks right at you and tells you your baby has died! I think it took a second for it to really sink in, and then I jumped right up and screamed and begged the doctor to do something!! He said there was nothing they could do. Right then and there, my heart stopped beating. Someone had physically reached into my body, took it out and threw it on the floor, and then stomped it to peices!

They induced me that night, and Kayln was born the next day, Dec 17, 2007 at 4:15, with the cord wrapped around her neck twice and a very, very tight knot in it. I was honestly scared what my reaction would be when I saw her. I think most of all, I was scared to see my husband's reaction. I was scared we wouldn't want to hold her, that it would be too hard... As soon as she came out, they took her over to her little bed and cleaned her off. My doctor looked at me, and asked me if I wanted to hold her but my hands were instinctly already out waiting for her to bring her to me! She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen! I just couldn't believe how from one look at her, I was SO in love and amazingly, SO happy! I FINALLY was able to hold my baby, who looked like she was just sleeping! She was perfect in every way! We were able to keep her in our room for 8 hours, get lots of pictures and everyone got to hold her. It was definately a bitter-sweet day, and those 8 hours just went by too fast! I'll never forget when the nurse came in at midnight to take her, it was the worst feeling ever because I knew that I would never again be able to hold her! (Even though 2 days later at her funeral, I was able to hold her for an hour. It was the best feeling to be able to see her again, hold her and kiss her again!)

Grieving has of course been the worst part. I will never get over the loss of our baby, never! She is always in my heart! I begged God to bless us again right after we lost her, not to replace HER but to replace this emptiness I felt, but he had other plans! I think Kayln finally convinced him it was time, because we are now 27 1/2 weeks pregnant with her little sister, Adalynn Noelle! Our prayers have finally been answered, and I thank God every day for our new blessing, but am fearful that history will repeat itself. I just continue to put my trust in God, and can only pray that he will comfort me and let us keep this baby here on earth. I know Kayln is watching over us and her little sister! I guess we'll never know why things like this happen, but I know it only happens to the people who are strong enough to go through it...  Kayln, mommy and daddy love you so much! We think about you every day! You were the best gift we could've ever recieved! You are truely our miracle! Sleep tight, sweetheart! Love, mommy and daddy

Thank you for letting me share Kayln! This is a wonderful idea! I only wish I could've had a site like this to go to after losing her, but am thankful that there is now for other women who are grieving the loss of their angel, and for women like us who have already gone through it, and still will always feel the heartache of our losses. Even though we are at a different stage in our grieving, it will never truely disappear, so again I'm thankful that I now have somewhere to openly share our sweet Kayln!! I too have pictures of her on my profile. Please feel free to look!
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
What a beautiful story for a beautiful Angel.  Your love for Kayln is strong and it will forever be felt by others..............especially that precious little  Adalynn in your belly.

Thank you for sharing!
Helpful - 0
667409 tn?1309152183
Just wanted to say...I'm not yet ready to share the story of my angel (although some of you already know it). But, I truly hope to one day be happy again like you three seem to be. I, too, want another baby to pour all of this baby love I have into - but I don't think it's going to happen. Unfortunately, I had a tubal when Ian was born in July. I am considering getting it reversed - but that is not 100% successful. Anyway...I will write the whole story about Ian some time - just not tonight. My loss is still very new (three weeks today) and today I am hurting so badly I just want to die. My eyes are stinging and swollen from crying to long today, and I feel like a hollow shell of the person I used to be. Please pray for me, ladies...I need all the help I can get.

Tricia
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184342 tn?1282588750
Tricia,  I pray every night for you.  I pray for God to comfort you and to bless you with another baby.  It is so heartwarming to hear the others stories of surviving and their angels blessing them again.  I pray God and baby Ian can do the same for you.  My heart still aches for you.

You are all wonderful women.
Helpful - 0
377493 tn?1356502149
Oh Tricia, I too pray for you daily.  I don't know what to say except I love you my friend and hope that in time you find peace again.  XOXO  Amanda
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
Tricia, share when you are ready. Just remember we are all here for you and you will never have to face this alone. Let the tears flow, cry as often as you need. Believe me I did not know it was humanly possible to cry so much.

You are such a strong and brave woman. You will forever be in my prayers!
Helpful - 0
896815 tn?1279805115
tricia i had the same experience. I had my angel in the almost in the same way.my angel was born as if theres nothing wrong. just pray it really helps a lot. what happened to us is a very painful but god has better plans maybe soon he'll give us a stronger baby.. which we cant take care until our hair turs to gray just pray tricia.your angel willl not like it if she sees you crying. They know how much we love them though were not able to hug them that long.
Helpful - 0
182926 tn?1273012392
I am so sorry for all of you.  I will Pray for you Tricia.  There are no words that can make it go away.  My story:  I am a mother of 5.  I had had my 4th child and unexpectedly found ourselves pregnant again.  I was so hesitant and don;t really think I fully accepted him until October 1st of last year I found out he was a boy..(not that I cared, I would of been happy either way).  I went shopping.  Everything I thought looked great.  I had a little spotting but nothing big..  They suddenly the morning of 10/7/08 changed everything.  my water broke..  I knew being an RN that he would not make it..  My heart broke too..  The ambulance came and took me to the hospital where I saw it in their eyes. I was told I would have to deliver..I was 18 weeks.  I prayed he would go to heaven so he would not have any pain..  I labored painlessly for hours..  (they gave me an epidural, that actually worked).  I delivered my perfect son at 10:22 pm he weighed 6.5 ounces and was 8.5 inches long..  I held him for hours..  It will be 1 year on Wednesday and we will be in Disney World.  I am now pregnant with number 6 and cherishing every minute of it.. MY son's name was Cooper Earl, after my grandfathers.  I won't celebrat this baby until 28 weeks.  Feb 12,2010.  I will celebrate my family all of it..  God Bless..    
Helpful - 0
525485 tn?1314361301
I am so sorry for your loss.......

Just know he is an angel watching over you and your family!
Helpful - 0
1024289 tn?1283296969
My little angels name is Miley.  She was born on the 25th January 2009.  It was a very long and painful induced labour but I was told over and over that all was fine, and it was until her little head was born.  Once her head had come out the midwife reached down to unloop the cord wrapped around her tiny little neck, she found it was "too tight" and told the doctor so.  He stood there with his arms folded and did and said nothing.  I felt two bit jolts and my partner who was watching her later told me it was her gasping for air.  For some reason the midwife and doctor waited 6 minutes before they decided to pull her out.  By this time she was gone.  I watched them pump on her tiny little chest and stick her with an adrenalin needle in her still heart.  They did this for about 20 minutes but it was too late.  He then put our little girl on my chest and said "this baby is dead, sorry" and pretended to wipe his eyes.  We got to spend a few hours with our baby but it should have been alot longer.  To this day I struggle to look at other mothers with their precious little bundles of joy without thinking, gee i wonder if Miley would look like that or simply crying!!  We are trying for another little one but its not so easy.  I will love our little girl forever and will never ever stop thinking of her!!!  My heart goes out to all you other ladies who feel the same way as me.  Take care.  Marina.
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
Oh Marina, this sorry to heart wrenching. This is just so unfair and so unjust. I am so  very sorry. My heart is just breaking for you.

I have looked at Miley's pictures several times and she is such a beautiful little girl! She looks just like you!!!

I know what you mean about wondering what they would have looked like as they grow. Wondering what they would sound like and how they would grow up knowing they were so very loved.  

I pray that Miley sends you a little brother or sister real soon. Not to replace her but to help you love with that part of your heart all over again. Baby Angels are very special and I know that she is taking very good care of Mommy and Daddy!!!

Thank you for joining this community!

Rachel
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693804 tn?1304720474
Hi Everyone! I'd like to start off by saying that my heart goes out to each and everyone of you. My name is Lori and my Angels name is Salvatore Mark. I found out at my routine check up on 10/15/08(Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness) at almost 5 months that his tiny heart stopped beating for reasons we'll never know. I was induced the following day and delivered early the next morning. My world was shattered. I got to hold him and love him for a few hours, but it wasn't nearly long enough. The anniversary of his "angel" birth is on Oct. 17 and i'm finding this to be a difficult time. I'm glad I stumbled upon this group and was able to share my story.

                             Thanks Rachel
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
Hi Lori! Thank you for sharing the story of your sweet little Salvatore.  I know as his Angel Day draws closer it becomes very difficult all over again. Believe me I had my first with Cooper this summer. Surprisingly, it actually brought some comfort and closer. The first everything is so hard and this was the hardest.  I pray that you find some strength on this day. Go and celebrate your little man, because he is in the best place ever. I celebrated this day with my family by getting a pedi!!!! My motto is "live to make your little angel proud"!!!!

I really appreciate you letting Salvatore into our lives!!!!!
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
I have never experienced a loss of a child and therefore don't know how difficult of a time you ladies have, but I joined this group because I want to send you all my thoughts and prayers and want to tell you that I believe you are the strongest women I have ever had a chance of getting to know.  Sending big hugs to all of you and to all of your angels.
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Avatar universal
On August 16 2009 - mine and my husbands 1 yr wedding anniversary, our hearts were shattered.  I did not feel my baby move for the whole day so went into emerg.  They sent me straight up to L&D where they hooked me up to the strap fetal monitor.  They could not find a heart beat.  They wheeled in an ultrasound machine and performed an ultrasound.  I could see my baby on the screen looking so lifeless, they found his heart and it wasn't beating.  I looked at the Dr and said "thats my baby, its gone?" and as her eyes filled with tears she simply nodded.  My whole world fell apart in that instant.
The next morning I was induced and on August 18th at 2:44 am my son Jonathan was born.  We did not know the sex of our baby and we were so delighted and proud we had the first grandson on both sides of our family.  
He was perfect in everyway! We had an autopsy performed and several tests that all came back clear.  It has been nearly 10 weeks and we are desperately longing to have a baby in our arms. I hope that I will be able to bring a baby home one day to pour all my love into. I miss my baby more than I can bear.  
I will pray for all of you angel mommies to have strength to carry on!
Helpful - 0
525485 tn?1314361301
I am so sorry for your recent loss. Please know that we are all here if you need to talk. Just know that your little angel Jonathan is watching over you and your husband.

God Bless.
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
I am truly hurting for you..........this is such an intense pain you are going through, but just know that it WILL get better!!!!

I am sure Jonathan is looking after you everyday. I bet you feel that love in every tear you cry!

Stay strong my friend and thank you for sharing your Angel!!!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your kind words!  It is a wonderful feeling to know that I am not alone and that people are thinking about my baby.

I never thought I would loose my son - I was 35 weeks pregnant so I thought I was in the clear by that point.

Thank you!!!!
Helpful - 0
1097936 tn?1290223186
I first of all want to express my heartfelt empathy for you.  My little Angel was born on October 10th 2009.  The finding out process was almost entirely the same, this is our first baby and was to be the first grandbaby on my side of the family as well as the first boy.  I was 23 weeks and hadn't felt him move for almost 2 days...this was my first pregnancy and therefore just didn't realize the need to call the doctor.  They sent me up to L/D and tried to find the heartbeat with the doppler....then wheeled in the ultrasound machine...then brought in the doctor on call who still couldn't find the heartbeat...there was no mistaking-there wasn't one to be found. It was more than heartbreaking.  It was easily the most heart wrenching pain I've ever experienced and hope to ever experience-my heart goes out to women who have to go through this experience.  I was induced that day and delivered our sweet little Bridger on the following day at 4:20pm.  He as 1.6pounds and 12.5 inches long.  He was beautiful, the most amazing miracle I've ever seen.  We got to hold him for hours at the hospital, wishing he was able to hear us say how much we love him. My arms still ache for our precious little baby. I am once again, so sorry that you and any woman has to go through this.  It will be 4 weeks tomorrow for us and our little one and what I woudn't give to hold him again!  
Our little babies are watching over us and I know that they know how much we love them!
Helpful - 0
933846 tn?1353452448
This is probably the hardest forum post I have had to read since i joined Medhelp over the summer. I joined after I had my IUD out back in June...we concieved right away. We both wanted a little boy but it didnt matter either way. My pregnancy was going well and I was so excited to go to our anatomy scan to see the sex. My husband and I both guessed it was a boy but my daughter said girl, however when the U/S tech started the US she was very quiet. She wouldnt turn the screen around and I knew something was wrong. There was no fluid around the baby and there were multiple cyst on both of the kidneys. I just knew there was nothing to be done but we had to wait another day to see my OB doctor. She told us it didnt look good but we needed to see a high risk doctor. Our baby had a strong heartbeat and was still moving. When we went to see the High Risk doctor she confirmed the worst...the cyst werent compatible with life. So I had to deliever the baby and my labor wasnt bad at all. Our little Matthew was perfect to us. He has very broad shoulders and looked just like my husband with my lips. The next day we had prayer service at the hospital with our family.

I'm trying to get things back to normal at my house but its so hard. I'll be attending a support group in the next couple of week and I'm hoping it will help.
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229760 tn?1291467870
wishing- I am so sorry. Your story is heartbreaking. I am so glad you found us and I hope we can bring you some support.  

ready4baby- thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry you had to find this site. I wish you still had that little one in your arms.  

Just know that your baby is always watching over you! Please feel free to message me when you need to talk!
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