Aa
Whats it like newley diagnosed
Hi
I have now had a forth proffessional say I am Bipolar and am now waiting to see a pdoc as it has been advised that I should go on medication. I am trying to understand this condition and relate it to me, I have always thought I was so normal a little quirky and Over the top sometimes and have always associated my depressions to situations at the time, my highs have always been short lived and yes I have done some things that my "normal" personality wouldnt do or would I. I have always thought when I instigated a skinny dip, flashed or flirted at a friends husband that this is me normally conservative letting my hair down, when I changed all the house round and spring clean and buy new stuff I am on a mission it lasts a few days and then usually fizzes out, does this sound like hypomania to you. I know that this year I had a major depression and then reacted to antidepressants and yes I can totally say I was truly hypomanic and then had some really scarey stuff go on in my mind, I know I had racing thoughts, felt randy etc.. and exceptionally happy and didnt need sleep ect.. ect.. but this was a reaction to medication, it continued to escalate when I came off them and then I had to take something to stop it which I took for a week or so and it knocked me out. I had my assesment yesterday and they said that during the two hour interview my mood fluctuated from happy laughing to crying, isnt this just a normal reaction that you laugh when nervous and mocking yourself and behaviour and cry when talking about truly sad stuff. I dont want to be in denial if I am ill but I have always been like this and I dont recognise it as distinct periods of time just me an up and down type of girl who is mostly conservative and then lets go sometimes. Yes I have sufferred low moods many many many times but if it has been major I have always had a reason for it.
They have said I am extremly sensitive to drugs ( based on the reaction to the AD and then the Seq) so they are going to have to introduce whatever they put me on very very slowly. I am so up and down I dont know what to think, but this is what I am like, this is normal and now I am off everything I feel normal again, that being up and down just like always. Does any of this make any sense to anyone. I just dont want to go on medication unless I really am BP
I have now had a forth proffessional say I am Bipolar and am now waiting to see a pdoc as it has been advised that I should go on medication. I am trying to understand this condition and relate it to me, I have always thought I was so normal a little quirky and Over the top sometimes and have always associated my depressions to situations at the time, my highs have always been short lived and yes I have done some things that my "normal" personality wouldnt do or would I. I have always thought when I instigated a skinny dip, flashed or flirted at a friends husband that this is me normally conservative letting my hair down, when I changed all the house round and spring clean and buy new stuff I am on a mission it lasts a few days and then usually fizzes out, does this sound like hypomania to you. I know that this year I had a major depression and then reacted to antidepressants and yes I can totally say I was truly hypomanic and then had some really scarey stuff go on in my mind, I know I had racing thoughts, felt randy etc.. and exceptionally happy and didnt need sleep ect.. ect.. but this was a reaction to medication, it continued to escalate when I came off them and then I had to take something to stop it which I took for a week or so and it knocked me out. I had my assesment yesterday and they said that during the two hour interview my mood fluctuated from happy laughing to crying, isnt this just a normal reaction that you laugh when nervous and mocking yourself and behaviour and cry when talking about truly sad stuff. I dont want to be in denial if I am ill but I have always been like this and I dont recognise it as distinct periods of time just me an up and down type of girl who is mostly conservative and then lets go sometimes. Yes I have sufferred low moods many many many times but if it has been major I have always had a reason for it.
They have said I am extremly sensitive to drugs ( based on the reaction to the AD and then the Seq) so they are going to have to introduce whatever they put me on very very slowly. I am so up and down I dont know what to think, but this is what I am like, this is normal and now I am off everything I feel normal again, that being up and down just like always. Does any of this make any sense to anyone. I just dont want to go on medication unless I really am BP
I have my appointment, 8.30am monday so I dont need to hang in much longer.
My friend spoke to me this morning and said she has been thinking about it and she thinks I have had a nervous breakdown and that I am not BP. I dont know how to handle my friend and family, I dont want to feel like I have to justify myself, I am just coming to the acceptance of it myself and then they say stuff and it throws me into confusion, I dont feel strong enough or knowledgable enough to explain things. I said my husband needs to come and get the doctor to explain things but he cant make the monday appointment but I guess I will have another, its not going to be just one appointment is it.
I feel really scared and alone, I know Im surounded by people who care but non of them are really helping they are all putting in there opinions in and I cant take it all in and process it. I guess after monday I will have more of an idea but I feel like my husband and my friend are being needy towards me rather than being supportive, its like they are scared and dont want to accept it and are expecting me to tell them im ok and its all been a bad nightmare.
My friend spoke to me this morning and said she has been thinking about it and she thinks I have had a nervous breakdown and that I am not BP. I dont know how to handle my friend and family, I dont want to feel like I have to justify myself, I am just coming to the acceptance of it myself and then they say stuff and it throws me into confusion, I dont feel strong enough or knowledgable enough to explain things. I said my husband needs to come and get the doctor to explain things but he cant make the monday appointment but I guess I will have another, its not going to be just one appointment is it.
I feel really scared and alone, I know Im surounded by people who care but non of them are really helping they are all putting in there opinions in and I cant take it all in and process it. I guess after monday I will have more of an idea but I feel like my husband and my friend are being needy towards me rather than being supportive, its like they are scared and dont want to accept it and are expecting me to tell them im ok and its all been a bad nightmare.
Diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me. It has explained so much about some of my over the top (OTT) behaviours. It has also given me some control over my life.
What you have is a physical illness that manifests itself in your moods. It is no different to having diabetes or asthma. Each one requires a management plan. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Oh and yes some of your BP may be an extension of your personality. That's the interesting part. Finding out which bit is what.
I freaked at first when I got diagnosed 3 months ago because I suddenly thought 'Who am I then?' But it's all okay and you will come to terms with it and you will learn to manage it. Be glad that your ups and downs haven't been so OTT that you had to go around apologising to people for stuff you did.
Above all be proud of who you are!
What you have is a physical illness that manifests itself in your moods. It is no different to having diabetes or asthma. Each one requires a management plan. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Oh and yes some of your BP may be an extension of your personality. That's the interesting part. Finding out which bit is what.
I freaked at first when I got diagnosed 3 months ago because I suddenly thought 'Who am I then?' But it's all okay and you will come to terms with it and you will learn to manage it. Be glad that your ups and downs haven't been so OTT that you had to go around apologising to people for stuff you did.
Above all be proud of who you are!
Citalopram.. how did I guess.
Sigh. And people wonder why there are calls for GPs to have their ability to prescribe these drugs removed or restricted? There is a warning in MIMS for Citalopram and Bipolars BTW with regard to mania and hypomania - which most GP's do not bother to read.
I wont comment on Seroquel as its a bit off to me for someone to suggest a drug without a face to face and Seroquel would harldy be a first line choice for an MS for most PDOCs - its not reccomended in the treatment guidlines for the Aus NZ college of psychiatrists who recomend lithium and lamacatil as first lines.
Seroquel is often only used here if the others dont work due to its (big surprise to you I bet) sedating qualities.
Ok you have a path in sight. Just hang in there.
Also, just my personal opinion here mind, get a new GP. Just my thoughts mind.
Sigh. And people wonder why there are calls for GPs to have their ability to prescribe these drugs removed or restricted? There is a warning in MIMS for Citalopram and Bipolars BTW with regard to mania and hypomania - which most GP's do not bother to read.
I wont comment on Seroquel as its a bit off to me for someone to suggest a drug without a face to face and Seroquel would harldy be a first line choice for an MS for most PDOCs - its not reccomended in the treatment guidlines for the Aus NZ college of psychiatrists who recomend lithium and lamacatil as first lines.
Seroquel is often only used here if the others dont work due to its (big surprise to you I bet) sedating qualities.
Ok you have a path in sight. Just hang in there.
Also, just my personal opinion here mind, get a new GP. Just my thoughts mind.
Hope you are hanging in there. monkeyc has good advice.
My sister in law works at a hospital in NZ. We were discussing calling or emailling her to see what your options might be and if there is any place you can go on the weekend. She's not in nursing any more but in admin, so should know the system. It's after midnight here, so hopefully will hear from you again soon with an update.
Take care!
My sister in law works at a hospital in NZ. We were discussing calling or emailling her to see what your options might be and if there is any place you can go on the weekend. She's not in nursing any more but in admin, so should know the system. It's after midnight here, so hopefully will hear from you again soon with an update.
Take care!
The story of how I got here is very complicated but yes GP prescribed Citalopram, I went hypomanic within 4 days came off after two weeks, Daughters therapist and her physciatrist then said I was BP and called my GP as he was concerned that I would end up in full blown Mania and told GP to give me the Seroquel and get me refferred, since been assessed on wednesday agreed with diagnosis of BP told I need lithiam or something similar but cant be done through GP must be done with the Adult Mental Health Doc, waiting for this appointment, they were reveiwing my case yesterday to allocate me the docs I need and then I should be seen by next week. Gave me 24hr help line if I need it. They have all been very good, a little dramatic I feel at times but I guess that is just because I am still what ever it is I am.
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