Are you getting therapy or taking medication? Maybe you should talk to your husband & let him know how u feel. I'm sure the alcohol isn't helping the situation. Reach out to someone, you seem overwhelmed. Stay positive,Your kids need you.
Children are tough. Don't get down on yourself, just do the right thing and treat them kind!
I am very overwhelmed at the minute more for the fact that i have finally admitted that there is something wrong ie more than just depression which is the only thing I am being treated for at this moment. I love my husband an my children more than words could say I just hate the fact that I can cause so much hurt to them