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After Manic Episode comes DENIAL ?????

Very confused right now.
So it has been a year since my husband had a Major Manic Episode, tried to commit suicide, was psychotic and for at least 6 months was NOT himself, totally disconnected form everything.

Back then he left me, moved in with another woman, brought me to court saying I abused our child and the list goes on.

FASTFORWARD to Today!
He seems to be 90% the man I used to know. He talks me okay, he is asking to help him on certain tings (he treated me like a stranger for 7 months).

But here is where I get really confused. If I asked him about this past year, about specific things that he ahs done or said, not to Confront him or to make him feel guilty but to see if he is still on Denial…He says he didn’t do anything wrong, nothing major happen to him, he says the doctors don’t understand what he went through. Even when I’m very specific about the bad choices he made, this woman who he got involved with, she is suffers form Boderline Pers Disor/Agoraphobia etc (the same woman who helped him write Court Papers in which he stated I Hit my daughter). And even now that he moved out of her house (he told his brother many times how unstable she was. But to me he keeps saying she is a Great person.

What is this? Is this just DENIAL, does he feel so embarrassed that it is hard for him to admit these things?

Why does it matter to me? Because I want to be able to trust him again. We have a 3 year old together and deep inside I know he is a good man!


Any feedback?? Thanks.
3 Responses
Avatar universal
Interesting subject, v.  Our 37-year-old son was diagnosed with Bipolar type II about twelve years ago.  Since then, he has had at least two major manic episodes.  When floridly ill, he accuses us of the most astonishing kinds of abuse, both in the past and even the present--even though we see each other very rarely and briefly at that.  Between episodes he never refers to this sort of behavior, except just once to note that he understood he had been 'pretty delusional' at one point.

I asked my own psychiatrist (and when you have a close relative with bipolar disorder, you really need your own psychiatrist) if our son's false memories would ever change or disappear, and the doctor answered that our son's memories were as real to him as ours are to us.

If your husband is stable now, it could be a very good time for you two to enter into couples counseling to help figure out how to deal with these matters.  If your husband refuses to go, then a support group for families could probably help you.

But I am sure that other members here will have great insight into your question.
Avatar universal
If he isn't in therapy or medicated or both and won't admit he has a problem he is not to be trusted. He is a good guy, and he is a good guy with a disorder that needs treatment. The whole 'the doctor's don't understand me' is part of the disorder unfortunately. And talk like that usually means that a person isn't taking their meds.

I've yet to meet someone who doesn't remember something about the time they were manic. Especially the great feelings of it as it does cause euphoria. But most people I know who have gone flouridly manic have great gaps of things they don't remember doing. The truth is likely somewhere in between. I find it very odd he wouldn't remember anything, but he likely doesn't remember everything.

You will always be co-parents and some therapy to help manage that would be great, and some individual counselling may help you deal with some of this.

And protect yourself. If he goes manic it won't be the last time he accuses you of doing horrible things. If you think he is going manic take notes of your interactions. You may need it if you end up in court.
607502 tn?1288247540
Ive lost memory when manic, in one case a week of it, its not unusual at all and its not unusual for us to act out of character when manic either - paranoia and delusion can go hand in hand with extreme manic episodes and realistically when you get manic most of us get paranoid even if we won't admit it.

lindahand has good advice in terms of making sure you take notes but be aware that just because things are said does not mean he believes those things or indeed is going to remember saying them - im told I said some horrid out of character things to my wife during my last hospitalisation which I don't recall one bit of
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