Am I doing the right thing?

[skippedbeats]

Our 18 year old grandson whom we raised from infancy was diagnosed bi-polar  in September 2013. He also is abusing marijuana. He has been in trouble for the marijuana use and is on probation in two different cities. Yesterday he was in court for a probation violation for using marijuana his 4th time in that court alone. His bond was set at $100000 of which they required 10%. We did not have the funds, bailiff asked judge if it could be lowered and she refused, in fact recommended we let him go to jail until his hearing in two weeks. Since we didn't have the money to bail  him out we did as suggested.  Now he is calling us over and over stating that he wants out of course. My concern is that the judge told the bailiff that she wants to find him a bed in a drug rehab facility, court ordered as he walked out of a facility when it was only recommended.  I am having feelings of guilt for putting him in jail for two weeks,he thought he was coming home, until his hearing, feeling like in jail he will not  get help for the bi-polar, but at least he won't use which is what the judge was concerned with.   Is putting him in long term drug rehab the answer or should we be contacting the judge requesting he be put into a mental health facility that will treat both the bi-polar and substance abuse at the same time. I am an emotional wreck.  He calls crying, telling me he has learned his lesson he won't use if he gets out, but I know he will. They had him staying at a half way house after 7 days in rehab and he didn't even take his meds. His counselor said worst thing they could have done as he was not ready to be able to handle monitoring his meds on his own.  I know this post is long but I am so confused at the moment.  I want him to get help but just feel as if I have gone about it in the wrong way.  He is not a bad person, he is very loving, but the courts seem to be looking at him as someone who just wont follow the rules,period. He is also going to be going to court from another city for not showing up to probatation a week ago, I believe the past two to three weeks he has been spiraling into a manic phase, lots of risk taking behavior, agitation and drug use. I had begged him to admit himself for treatment but he refused, and now here we are, He is looking at the possibility of 6 months in jail between both. Should we be advocating with the courts for long term inpatient treatment? In Michigan where we live most places will keep you only 72 hours.  He is currently on Triliptal for the bi-polar and Adderall for his ADHD.(But found out he stopped taking the adderall at least a month ago).
Any input will be appreciated.

[Anonymouse88]

If you can find one, I think a mental health facility equipped to deal with substance abuse as well would be better than plain rehab.  I doubt his drug use will change without fixing the bipolar.  

If they do commit him involuntarily, look into whether you can get power of attorney/become his medical proxy.  If they let you, you would be able to control what sort of treatment he gets and you would have a better chance of making sure his wishes for treatment are followed as much as possible.  I'm not clear on the details, but a social worker might be able to help you sort out your options.  

You clearly love your grandson and want the best for him.  We always second guess ourselves in difficult situations, but you are coming from a place of love and doing your best, and not enabling him.  Make sure you have support for yourself too.  See if they have any groups in your area for family members of people with substance abuse problems or mental illnesses.  I think NAMI does lessons and groups for family members.

[CRSeaside]

My heart goes out to you. It's a very difficult situation once the law steps in.
  I hope you have support. Church groups, alanon
DBSA . They have free support for families of bipolar.