Im 19, and for many years ive had severe mood swings and mental health issues since a younge age. Im diagnosed ADHD & ODD with emerging borderline traits. When i was in my middle teens ( 14-17 ) the criteria for Borderline fitted like a glove but because i was under the age of 18 i couldnt be properly diagnosed. But the last year things have taken a dramatic turn. Ive been inpatient for 6 months and only discharged march of this year. I am 99% positive that i suffer with depression, i have the symptoms thats been going on for years but every doctor ive been to says its just “normal low mood”... I go through these “phases” where i can go 4-8 days with very little sleep , my energy increased dramatically, i couldnt focus or stay on track of things , my confidence was sky high and i felt invincible. Like no harm could ever come to me and ill live forever , then it goes away and im in a depressed phase for weeks/Months at a time. Im currently in andepressed state and very stressed over nothing and everything. My mood has dropped drastically and ive alot of self harm urges and suicidal ideation ( wanting to die , needing to die & plannin on how i will die) im currently still trying to get an appointment with my psych but im not due to see him till march 2019. Im really scared as i cant sleep i cant eat or im binging , my mood is horrible , im currently working but even at work im struggling big time and crawling out of my skin with anxiety. Ive socially isolated myself for months and now i feel like im losing control of myself and my mind. I dont know whats going on and im scared incase im becoming mentally Ill again.