Hi. This is really long and may not make sense, but i really need help from someone with experience in bipolar disorder.
I think i may be Bipolar II. i've only mentioned it to a few of my friends, most of them don't understand except one who is bipolar, but i don't think she really wants to talk about it. I haven't told my parents because they will most likely laugh and not believe me.
I've been reading some of the posts on here and i have to say i have symptoms similar to those mentioned.
Around April/May this year, i think i had a depressive episode. I felt hopeless, i had no energy, i slept alot. I had no interest in activities i normally love doing. I was in a black hole of self-hate and thought i would never get out. I thought it was depression, but after about two weeks i was okay again.
I am pretty sure i've also experienced multiple hypomanic episodes. I haven't had the hallucinations or drug abuse that comes with Bipolar I manic episodes. I sway between aggressive and hyper, and wake up a lot during the night when i'm like this. I'll be super crazy, my speech rapid, thoughts racing, saying outrageous things, fidgeting, unable to sit. Then suddenly i become very angry and upset over the smallest things, yelling and swearing and barely able to stop myself from attacking someone (although there are times when i've thrown things at them). Then not long after i will be super happy with said person, like i'd never really been angry. I often get paranoid, worried people don't like me, and sometimes i am very touchy-feely. I can be very creative and productive, too, however. I'll have a million ideas, start a thousand new projects that i just have to finish. I start a new routine, like an exercise timetable and a healthy eating menu.
And (don't worry, its finished soon) i think i could either have mixed episodes or be a rapid cycler. I can be very depressed and feel like the world is against me, or be absolutely bursting with energy and craziness, all within the space of a week. I also seem to have more hypomania than depressive episodes.
So, my question is, am i Bipolar II, or should i just dismiss it as mood swings? Or is it something else altogether?? Please help.