I was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Crap, my grandma had it though and she seemed pretty normal to me. I have actually been this way as long as I can remember, and I'm 41 now. I self medicated with cigarettes and alcohol for years, but then stopped both in September. Then WOW!!! All the things I thought were just normal, such as talking a hundred miles an hour, sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night and being fine with it, or not being able to sleep and being soooo tired. The nervousness, and agitation of following slow people in the mall. Never being able to just sit and enjoy anything cause I just had to keep moving, or didn't have time to think about it cause my brain was super busy thinking about 7000 things at once. All these things doubled in intensity. My blood pressure was through the roof and anxiety unmanageable :(. So after now being on 5 different medications for depression and anxiety as well as a beta blocker, all of which would work for a few weeks then not work I had to goto the doctor again today...after talking to me he referred me to a psychiatrist and put me on depakote, as well as the other meds lol. Then I read today that antidepressants can throw u into a manic state lol...I live in a manic state most of the time...always super up beat joking with everyone, a little bit too happy, the fun one, while inside I'm like dead feeling, like nothing bothers me, like I shut off my emotions, and am just acting my way through life. I hope that once I go to the psychiatrist he will reevaluate my meds and get me on the right ones.