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Avatar universal

Communications Issues

I'm wanting to know if other people with mental illness experience this or if it's just me.  How many of you have a lot of supposed friends who talk about things to you they know you have no interest in or knowledge of and when you try to get a word in edge-wise on any topic of your choose, whether it is of interest to them or not, they immediately change the subject and/or don't acknowledge what you said?  I've confronted people on this before and they said it was because they didn't know how to respond to what I said but hell it even happens when I try to talk to them about something relevant at the time and of interest to them.  (Which I frequently do now, desperate to have more than one engaging conversation per year)  I'm finding I've been socially isolated for so long now I'm actually starting to like being socially isolated and I'm starting to intentionally break off relationships and isolate myself more.
17 Responses
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520191 tn?1355635402
Hey, I think that people do this because they can not relate to you and because when you are not trying to be "normal" and do social norms they may think you are weird or different and are not sure were you are at as they have no idea what you are going through. for this reason its almost like they are wherry of you and arn't sure how to interact with you. I do now think it is on there side and that it is there problem not yours as you are trying. when you do try and make conversation they may not no how to react as most of the time you don't seem like them. It is sad as even my family does this to me. You might not think of yourself as acting and behaving differently than them even when you are trying to talk but they might perceive you differently and think that you are differently and act different. this i think is a tad frightening as you don't fit in. if people had more knowledge and understanding with were you are at then you might find you better luck. that is a tough one as well because i don't think anyone fully understands unless they have been there themselves. Do you have this problem with other people with mental illness?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
looloo141
Well it's not like I want to talk to people 24/7 but it would be nice if the people would actually engage me when I try to have a conversation or at least even acknowledge I said anything to begin with.  What I'm doing is the ultimate result of cognitive dissonance where I change my way of thinking to cope with contradictory cognitive states that are uncomfortable which in this case is that I want to talk to people sometimes but a lot of people apparently don't want to talk to me.

Fizzy74
Yes, these forums are helpful for getting it out since even though I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder it still shares traits with bipolar disorder even though I think I haven't been diagnosed with the bipolar subtype and so there are people who can understand the symptoms I go through.
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Avatar universal
My gosh yes, you have just described exactly how I feel at the moment.  I try and be honest with friends and tell them that I am a bit "flat" at the moment, and they either change the topic or don't acknowledge it, when then makes me feel like crap!  

Big hugs to you, at least we have forums like this where we can talk to people who understand!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ok, I think I'm a little sensitive today. I do think there is a link between high intelligence and a lot of mental illnesses, not just Bipolar, but I'm not really sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, unless like you said you have had personal experience with people that believe stereotypes!
I have come across intelligent people, mentally ill or not,  that see others as being beneath them, but I have come across people of average intelligence that are the same. I seem to struggle being understood mostly when manic.
I have found my way of coping with conversations with other people to be a case of avoiding having them in the first place ( only during depressive cycles ) I isolate myself, through choice. I can't be bothered basically! I'm unsure as to whether this is the right or wrong thing to do, but for me it seems to be the only way of getting through the darkness, and it seems to suit everyone else aswell!
It seems that you are quite different to me, you would like lots of conversation and stimulation, I feel like I have completely shutdown. I wish I could be more like you, but it seems that it's quite painful when you don't get the feedback and banter that a good conversation brings..I think my shutting down is a self preservation thing, as I would be very hurt and could possibly get quite angry and ruin a perfectly good friendship!
Are you still feeling like isolating yourself? it sounds like you are adapting by avoiding contact before you get hurt too..


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I wasn't saying you come across as stuck up or anything.  I was saying people thinking bipolar disordered individuals are extremely intelligent could have negative connotations because it's a stereotype I learned about growing up that people tend to think intelligent people are stuck up and act like everyone is beneath them and such.
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Avatar universal
Yes I think stereotype is probably a better word, I write so fast I don't know what I'm talking about see? LOL.
I think I've come accross all wrong on this post, I was saying the difference in how I deal with people and conversations, I have difficulty because of the 2 different poles of my illness.
When depressed I don't want a conversation with anyone, its too much work..I dissociate myself from social situations, and would rather climb in a box and not be near another human, even my own children!
Then on the flip side I become this hyperactive idiot, spouting verbal diarrhoea!
I become grandiose and have an inflated sense of self, I have never been described as stuck up, the grandiosity is a symptom of my illness as it is for many others..it is so different from who I really am..as we all behave so obnoxiously during a mania.
I was just saying that these are my individual problems with communicating with others, it depends what cycle I am in.
It seems I have come across like I think certain people are beneath me, that is not my character at all, I usually act in this terrible manner towards my boyfriend or family members, when manic they totally frustrate me with the concern and trying to pour meds down my throat, that I am going so fast and think that I have special powers etc, I do think I'm god and that I'm special..its just part of my mania..

I'm really sorry that I have offended people with how I came across, please accept my apologies I feel terrible now :-(
Helpful - 0
1709021 tn?1308184343
I have the Bipolar diagnoses and I never think I am better than anyone.  I have gone through so much misfortune and loss since this happened.  I have always been concerned too much about others feelings.  I find myself getting slapped in the face if I speak up or if I don't.  I guess I had a social disorder.  Who is the real judge.  Now days I perfer to sit back to some extent.  I love to observe others and it is not t judge them, just to learn how to read people.  It is really hard to find that fit in place.  This is not my family but outsiders.

When in a intimate relations it is best for me not to let down my guard.  I think in this situation both parties are on the defense.  I have to at this point just Trust in God and when the time comes for me to be really serene I will be.  

I take my meds no alcohol or drugs.  Try to get the correct amount of rest.  I eat a little to much junk at times.  For the present I have in my own little world.  I have began to express and vent on this site.  I find it rather relaxing.  If I keep writing in my own journal now one ever reads them for me to get feed back.

On thing I really want is to find a good independent living place .  In Memphis, Tn
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Avatar universal
I don't know if it would be considered a stigma (rather a stereotype) that people with bipolar disorder are all extremely intelligent.  If I'm not mistaken a stigma is a negative, widely accepted connotation about something.  I guess it could have its negative points to it like people think that because people with bipolar disorder are extremely intelligent they may all be stuck up or act like everyone is beneath them.
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Avatar universal
Hi all, I guess I'm quite lucky with this, either that or I have adapted well. I have the gift of being a bit of a chatterbox, I can articulate my points quite well, I have always found language quite easy, but Im good at editing, and knowing when to not speak, this comes from years of anxiety. Its strange because I can't answer the telephone or the door to people but I can talk well face to face.. when I am unwell in a depressed sense I immediately become so withdrawn and anti social that I wouldn't involve myself in a conversation any way, its very frightening for my family because I shut down and don't speak for days. If I'm hypomanic I become the life and soul and can't shutup Lol, I will talk ans talk and probably make perfect sense too! I dont consider myself to be intelligent like the stigma goes that bipolars are extremely intelligent, but I do posess very good people skills, if I'm manic my speech becomes even more rapid, but the subjects I talk about get me in trouble, but I think I'm queen of england or something and really don't care what people think.. I'm not a nice person when I'm like that because not only will I be talking non stop but I get very frustrated that other people are so slow and beneath me! I know I'm cringing myself!!
One horrible thing I have encountered is when people laugh at my ideas! Or make fun out of. Something I've said, its rude! People have no manners these days!
The best people to talk to are kids! They accept everybody, no prejudice.
I just hide away when I know I'm gonna look an idiot, become very shy.
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520191 tn?1355635402
I do get that as well. When i do deiced to come out of my cave and try and be "normal" and join in conversations as such, but it never goes well, i say something and they either leave the room or grunt and change topic. I agree that i think they are the ones missing out as i think what i have to say is important. but they will see that soon.It does make me mad sometimes and when i get angry and complain that they are rude they say that too, they didn't know what to say. but shutting up and and "ignoring" me doesn't help anyone let alone someone depressed and trying so hard to fit in. and this is my family i am talking about. i actually don't know why they do it and weather its me or them????? That' a hard one.
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Avatar universal
I think my problem in regards to this may be what ILADVOCATE brought up about negative symptoms and what they entail since I have the same diagnosis as him and what ladysleepwalker brought up about many people just being too self centered.
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1709021 tn?1308184343
I believe through experience many people are just too self centered.  I believe we all at times do not think about how someone may be REALLY FEELING.  We ask and some will blow off with above the surface comments.

I have noticed when you say your feelings honestly and if the feelings are down, blue or sad it will throw alerts.  This is why I am so glad there are sites and people that are really diagnosed Bipolar or etc in that area.  However it appears that you get faced with the clicks of everything.

I like to write to communicate with others and to vent.
Ladysleepwalker
Helpful - 0
1683690 tn?1308353392
Its sad when others dont want to reach out because the person they are speaking to is out of the norm. Sad most of all for them. I do find most open minded people, with or without mental health issues, are always quite chatty and a little more open with me than they are with others! I too can get quite upset but as has just been said these are just people needing educating. It does help to have one or two people who you can let go and be yourself with. Dont give up because there are beautiful interesting people out there that do want to hear what you have to say. ;)
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Avatar universal
Haha Tats funny bradian but yea I get how u feel cuz I feel like tat sumtimes too! Like oh here dnt mind me I'm jst bipolar! Lol but yea it sux sumwat cuz pple sumtimes think were weird bcuz of the random conversations we come up wit! I'm glad I have frnds tat stick wit me nd dnt give up! Mayb Tats wat u guys need! Sum frnds tat will understand u nd stick to u! I knw it's hard to find those sumtimes but they are out there! I think a lot of pple kind of like bipolar bcuz were easy to get along wit I mean we fit in wit everyone! At least Tats how I feel nd think! Just dnt give up u guys nd get dwn for wat other pple think! Wre not socially awkward we jst need pe to understand us! Ha idk I dnt think I'm making ne sense I'm in a fairly happy mood right now! I hope u guys r too! :) have a nice day!
Helpful - 0
1673169 tn?1316541930
Hi. Yes i have this problem too. I feel like people don't know what do say to me. Even when i say something normal like "nice weather". Sometimes I want to ask people "is there something wrong with my face?!" Sheesh.

I like ILADVOCATE's idea about educating people. I have often thought of creating a business card to hand to people saying "I have a mental illness, please be kind to me." And then just hand it to people before I even talk to them.

Maybe it's a lame idea. I don't know.
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585414 tn?1288941302
  Yes I have had this happen especially in the past. People could see I was different and had difficulty with conversations and knew I had a psychiatric disability and just made efforts to isolate me. Also (at least for me at the time) being that I was experiencing the negative symptoms of schizoaffective although what I was speaking about would have been of interest to others I just couldn't express it in a manner that was. I do know that improved when I started atypical antipsychotics but it was also a matter of encouraging people to change their attitude as well by educating them about what a psychiatric disability was.
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Avatar universal
I can just feel the conversation center of my brain suffocating to death especially when I'm trying to talk to these people about **** I don't even know anything about or care about and my once extensive vocabulary is slowly dwindling to nothing due to lack of engaging usage of it.
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