Doctor with a God complex

[BipolarBear75]

My pdoc has been on my back about me getting my tubes tied. I have one 13 year old son and I am a single mom. I am on Lamictal and Lithium and other meds but that won't need to be stopped during pregnancy. He referred me to a gynacologist for a consultation. I don't know if this new doc had preconceived notions because the referral came from a psychiatrist (it said patient with Bipolar 1 in for consultation for tubal ligation as she can't stop meds and is already a single parent)or what but he clearly had a bias. He acted like he was an archbishop and I was asking him for an abortion or something. I am 36...not an unusual age to be thinking of this either way I don't think. But he was dismissive, didn't look me in the eye, asked what pills I couldn't stop for 9 months, was very abrupt, and other stuff. The last thing he said was to try not to get pregnant before the "operation". I got out of there and was so bothered that I actually cried. Not like a big cry but it made me feel like crap.

I was really bothered by the whole appointment and I told my "boyfriend"  and he made a face and said that he doubted it happened like that and that he knows I am exaggerating (which I was not....I was giving him fact and my feelings towards them) and he knows I am exaggerating because I exaggerate his intentions all the time. This time really upset me but then I started thinking about all the times I have talked to some friends and they were dismissive or even condescending!!! Does anyone feel that when people know you are bipolar suddenly you take everything out of proportion, you exaggerate or if you get mad at them; it isn't that they screwed up....it is that you are bipolar?

[freddie8605]

You should never be pushed to do something that could be harmful and forever long lasting effects to you if you don't want it tell your doctor to **** off! HE can't make you and he shouldn't be trying. there are plenty of bipolar woman that don't have this operation!

[lindahand]

My pdoc mentioned to me that these meds could cause birth defects and if I was planning to get pregnant I'd have to get off of them. He left the choice of birthcontrol up to me. If you have a history of indiscriminate sexual encounters (not judging just know from experience that bipolar can mess with your brain that way) maybe, if you have a really good working relationship, it would be appropriate. To push the subject sounds a bit paternalistic, father knows best, 1950's way of thinking. If you think it is a good idea for you that is one thing. But to say that it is being pushed. That raises a few red flags for me.

From a practical point of view if you aren't wanting anymore children, and YOU feel it is in your best interest than do it. But this is too big of a decision to be coerced into it. If you are not ready for a tubal but want some ongoing protection you can always use depo-provera. Estrogen based birthcontrol is affected by bipolar medication and isn't the most reliable of options.

[looloo141]

No it isn't normal! It is worthy of a formal complaint if you wish.
I'm sure it goes against your human rights!

Like I said I am a single mother of 3, on potent meds that would be a risk to a baby and nobody has said anything like that to me..its outrageous!!

[BipolarBear75]

Ok, so it isn't normal for my pdoc to refer me for a tubal ligation? Wow, cause he has been pushing the issue a few times. I am usually quite happy with him but was upset with this doctor and felt his bias was because of my condition. So this isn't normal???

[looloo141]

Omg! I'm stunned! Did the pdoc ask you your feelings on this? I have discussed medications that can cause fetal abnormalities and my pdoc has warned me about it but I got the impression that if I were to take Lamictal that it would be my responsibility to not get pregnant, just like anyone else, I am a single parent to 3 and bipolar..I would have been fuming BipolarBear! Just because our illness carries a risk of promiscuity doesn't mean we are complete idiots!!

I have come into contact with doctors like this, and unfortunately it seems to be happening more and more..not just us mentally impaired idiots!!!
I don't know why some doctors choose that profession as they are so snotty I cannot see that I actually want to help people, it seems they just want to tear strips off people in order to raise their own ego's!!
GRRRRRRRRR!!!
I too have people in my life that belittle my feelings..I don't take it anymore though, as I have realised that its them with the problem not me..I tell them to get stuffed!
I would probably slap my boyfriend if he said I exaggerate everything, luckily he knows better than that..LOL.. i think your boyfriend is just a typical man to be honest, they don't understand stuff with doctors..I am a bit of a nightmare because I don't forget anything, and if he'd been so dismissive of my feelings like that I would have to get my quiet revenge by doing it back to him when he required my sympathy! LOL

[lindahand]

Your pdoc referred you for a tubal ligation? Wow. I hope you were the one that brought it up. Some doctors have their heads up their arse. If you can get a new one.

[freddie8605]

YES YES YES. I can't put it into words but YES i get that all the time! I am sorry it happens to you too.

[nlr_tiff]

I think people do start to be biased...for example if i feel upset about something my friends will act like its no big deal. That I have nothing to feel bad about...But i just figure they dont get it...Like someone with bipolar can have honest real emotions just like normal people...So maybe just remind your loved ones that you are stable and that your emotions are valid?

I hope this helps

Hugs-Braidian