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337492 tn?1212458836

Help and support please

I am having a difficult time re-establishing myself with my boyfriend since my suicide attempt a week ago Saturday.  He had to make the call to 911 and it has wreaked him.  I am wondering if he is responding in a healthy or unhealthy manner.  My new medication is working and I now know the experience of staying in a mental hospital and I am not afraid of going again, if I drop into a deep depression.  However, I feel I am on the mend and more understanding about being bipolar to prevent another episode of having ideations from happening.  He was warm towards me the first day I got home.  Since then he has gone into himself and is pushing me away.  Occasionally he has been holding me and then he hides again.  He told me he does not want to talk about what happened and is afraid of it happening again.  He told me he wants to protect himself and does not know if he can live life with me now.  We were engaged and now I don't know what we are.  I do not want to lose him, but I do not like seeing him hurting either.  He said he needs a few weeks to clear his head.  I suggested a support group for loved ones of bipolars or individual counseling.  He said he is not ready.  He also said he is numb inside.  I am being supportive, but I also have to focus on my own healing.  Has anyone has a mate with similar feelings about your personal attempt?  Did it get better or tear you apart.  We had something so special and I hope and pray it can be that way again.  Thank you.  
7 Responses
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337492 tn?1212458836
Never mind.  I asked him and he refuses to talk to anyone.  He is being un-supportive and does not want help.  All he wants is to be left alone.  This is so frustrating.  A part of me wants to kick him to the curb, but the other part of me loves him so deeply.  I am a mess right now.  How am I suppose to find a job when he is so unsteady around me?
Helpful - 0
337492 tn?1212458836
Thank you.  I am giving him space and we are taking it one day at a time.  We are backing up, slowing things down and going to get to know each other with me being healther.  I will ask him if he wants your husbands email and you can send it in a message to me if he is interested.  Thanks again!  
Helpful - 0
212753 tn?1275073111
I am glad you are doing better. I agree you probably need to give your boyfriend some space. It is hard for men to sometimes deal with emotional things and be able to express their feelings. Dont know why but it just is as it is. give hime sometime and leave lots of bi polar info laying around. the support group for him is a good idea too but wait a bit to bring it up. and if you want he could talk to my hubby about being with a bi polar person for 22 years. I must say he has always been there for me through the worst sstuff but it did take him a while to be able to express what he was feeling. and if you start to feel bad again you message sis. I will be here for you.
love Venora
Helpful - 0
394455 tn?1238901667
Hi my dad has recently been dx with bipolar 2 and he has suicide addiction.  That is how we found out that he has bipolar.  That was about a month ago.  Last Thursday I get a call saying that he was missing.  So, I got out in the car and went asking around have you seen my father and thinking the worst.  Not 15 minutes later I get a call and he is at my house.  Thank God!  But, he was trying to hang himself.  Well, long story short.
Is that the first time I was scared to death and numb.  But when I found out he had bipolar I got on the web and found all kinds of information and support groups for support people.  I don't know if I can physically sit in a room with people and discussed this without breaking down.  So, I turned to the computer.  
When this last episode happened I turned toward them and it helped.  So, even though we aren't the ones that have the disorder we still have to live with it. I am dealing with it and I will never show it to daddy how scared, upset, or how stupid I think he is.  Because, he needs all his strength in fighting this.  
I hope this helps.  But it sounds like he needs someone to talk things out with.  Maybe he is scared just like I am that he is going to make things worse.  I found someone online and we email each other every other day and that helps out a lot.  
If he needs to let out some steam he can always email me.  
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Avatar universal
You are most welcome. Take care and I hope everything works out

Barb
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337492 tn?1212458836
Thank you.  That is a bit reassuring.  I guess I will approach him in a few weeks.  I just miss being close, kissing him and feeling the warmth that our relationship once had.  I told him, for the time being, to do some research on the net to help him better understand what I was going through.   I also think he is freaked out about almost losing the woman he loves and now he has shut those feelings down to protect himself.  I hope he loosens up and starts to heal like I am.  I hope to never have a relapse again.  Thank you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am also bipolar. I had a severe episode approx 7 months ago. I was recently remarried in December of 2008. It was very hard on my husband. His mother had been in Warren State Hospital and just did not know how to react too my illness. I was fine when I got out of the hospital for a week, but the symptoms came back My husband would withdrawal into himself as I could be very voliatile. I was afraid for awhile that he was going to leave me. I then got him some literature on bipolar and have asked to go too classes with me about bipolar and other mental health issues.

I agree with you just give him some space. Show him daily that you are feeling better. If necessary in about a month approach him again about classes and therapy. Good Luck and keep me posted

Barb.

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