How To Spot Hypomania in Yourself? Signs?

[ILADVOCATE]

I know its easy to tell someone they are hypomanic. But what about yourself? And that full blow mania is frightening. But hypomania can seem like "fun" but it quickly spirals into full blown mania. We've all experienced it. Including myself. And aren't always self aware. But how can we stop it before it gets worse?
For myself signs of hypomania (remember its complex because I have schizoaffective)
include:
contacting people I hardly know, feelings that "I love everyone" (elation), hypersexuality, overspending, feelings of paranoia (people who are annoying become "threatening"), doing passive aggressive or hostile pranks (in the past), self medicating with natural remedies (in the past), drinking large amounts of caffeinated beverages (in the past), overstating my important/thinking I could "change the world", unable to concentrate on tasks but becoming obssessed with something unimportant.
Right now I am to the point where I can spot this and catch it before it gets worse. Can you? What happens with you?
Can you stop it? And could you learn?

[daledude]

Yes, reinvention is my goal: how in the **** am I going to make money now? :)

When you talk about your pdoc and confusion with hypomania, it reminds me that to me it feels like I'm only cycling between hypomania and depression, with very little, if any, time while not either depressed or hypomanic.

I've really enjoyed a number of your postings as well. It's great to be here, at least for now. I wonder if I'll be able to post at all when back in depression; seems like it would be a miracle based upon past experience, which is a shame because it's when I'm depressed that I need the most help, but am generally unable to take advantage of any.

[ILADVOCATE]

Well you are a realist. But everyone here, you especially give practical suggestions on various ideas on recovery. That's a step above what I found at this mood disorders support group where everyone traded how much they hated their life and didn't say anything to benefit each other. It was the old "misery loves company" deal. Needless to say I stopped going back. But I also got sick of psychiatrists who said "just keep a positive attitude" and one staffer at a psych. hospital who pointed at my eyes (in what seemed a threatening manner) and said "you have to do eye contact" (before atypical antipsychotics, as a person with schizoaffective disorder, I could not at the time) As for my physical disability, of course its painful and before treatment I did get suicidal ideations. But as I said it was the two near death experiences from dysphagic (choking) spasms that brought me back. When you approach death for real it reminds you how valued life is. I don't discount the reality of what I'm going through but I had to go through the appeals process to get Access A Ride and I'm sure I'll have to do the same with a home attendant. There's so much practical stuff I'm involved in that it takes away my focus from the basic non stop pain and spasms that I experience.
  And as for the neurologist I had who said "there is no recovery" (he's right its irreversible) he almost died of a massive heart attack and due to an experimental form of treating them he was saved and recently went back into practice. That's why I've focused on obtaining the best of what's out there and if not, what they are working on before it becomes available to other people overall.
  I don't assume that everything will be better. It won't. I just am on a never ending battle to fight society's discrimination towards me and that takes up all the time I'd have for self pity. And hypomania does apply there. I can't fight every battle and before recovery, I'd take slight towards every minor insult because I was paranoid. The worst way to face the world but the way I did before was passive aggressive. Passive as in helpless. Then aggressive as in confrontational. The way I approach life now is assertive. I think the specific therapy you mentioned for depression is in that fashion, to not descend to negative thinking but also to cope with the depression that still exists in a realistic manner. Its just a bit harder to do with hypomania because of the misplaced energy. But I try to use it for positive purposes.

[cowgirlnerd]

I was the same way - was a THRIVING banker for 20 years until my bp progressed and then my "creativity" and "passion" (really hypomania) became a liability rather than an asset.  It's easier I think to accept "passion" from a 20something not a 40ish person.

Going through the paranoia and the constant, "what if they find out what I am really like??" is horrible.  I would think (and still think)  - SURELY they know how messed up I am but no - I got award after award and promotion after promotion until it came to a screaching halt.  

Now things are better because I don't have all of that stress, but like a lot of people my age and older, as well, who do and actually DON'T have to suffer from bp issues - I am having to reinvent myself when I wouldn't think I would be doing so.  I guess that's not always a bad thing.

Oh, and the happy happy joy joy thing isn't all of the time in my hypomania either - I do enjoy a good little manic trip to get things done (no sleep can reflect an appearance of things getting done) but mostly it is horrifying because the most destructive and obviously "out there" things have happened during my mania.  The depression is a friend I have known my whole life, also, so it just sits there waiting on me to address him again.  My depression is harder to come out of since getting "stable" on my meds and the hypomania has decreased.  (of course my pdoc says that I confused the hypomania with getting out of the depression but it was just a different aspect of my bp1)

ANYWAY!  Glad to have you in the forum.  You have some great postings.  

Racheal

[daledude]

horselover65

You may not be a lawyer, but you ARE a comedian, you make me laugh out loud - you have a great sense of humor, with effect. I'm glad to have read your posts, and if you were a lawyer I don't suspect you'd have the time for that, and I'd have missed you completely. How's that for an argument against law school?

I did computer programming for a living for 25 years or so, until I couldn't anymore. It was a love/hate relationship the entire time, and even though I didn't know what was going on, I was totally screwed up from BP the whole time too - almost entirely due to depression at that time. It wasn't nearly as deep as it is now, and it would come and go more quickly, leaving me with periods of "relative" normalcy, but I went through my entire life feeling basically kind of shell-shocked. Like somebody that I couldn't see was regularly beating the **** out of me.

But I did always make a living at it at least. I actually won some awards at a couple of companies that I worked for, which truly came as a complete shock to me. One time at a monthly company meeting, completely bored, sitting close to the back of the group, mind a hundred miles sideways from the meeting, praying it'd be over soon, I heard my name called out by the president of the company and I immediately felt sick and almost passed out. (True story, I'm not exaggerating...) The first thing that came into my mind was panic: oh ****, they found out something bad about me, or I did something wrong and didn't realize it; he's calling out my name because I'm getting fired, and I'm going to be incredibly humiliated in front of all these people. And then I heard "...employee of the month...", and people were turning around to look at me, smiling - if only they could have seen the swirling mass of stunned chaos spinning in my head. I think I'd just rather not have won the thing, except, like being a lawyer, then I couldn't have told the story. I guess I'll take it. :)

Nite.

[horselover65]

Hope your health concern is not what you fear! I have to tell you that many of my relatives were very happy when their status finally had some perks. I had temporary status a couple of times after foot surgery and it helps immensely. Hobbling around is hard work. Uses a lot of energy. Makes me grin you yelling at the cat. Probably shouldn't make me grin, but I have 4 dogs and a couple of them (the same 2) get yelled at every day. They eat poop and/or won't go in their kennel and/or start winding up whoever is already in a kennel and/or chase the cats, etc.. I only feel bad about it when it is unnecessary and I've lost my temper. Usually, I am just trying to be heard. My dogs have selective hearing. Our cats...well, I find a loud, simulated hiss works better than yelling. ;-)  (A brick would work even better, but hubby has said I'm not allowed to assassinate the cats).

[horselover65]

Speaking of triggers - stress is a big one and I'm a stress monster. The idea of a schedule is a lot of pressure for me. It's hard for me to be on time. It's hard to remember to eat at proper meal times. I am constantly battling the clock. At university and at almost every job I've ever had, I have had trouble being on time. Can't count the number of times I've walked into huge lecture halls 15 minutes into class or done the same thing at an office. I was late for my dental appointment today. For no reason at all...

A huge stress is moving. We moved several years ago and I fell apart. We hired movers to do the packing. Turned out to be the best possible solution. I was in such a state anyway because I was dealing with the fence people, utilities, etc. already. (I was so upset one day that I backed out of the garage with one of the car doors open. Yeah, that door is toast).

We took an older, smaller house to get the land, but we have not successfully purged anything or even unpacked a lot of our things. I am looking for a cleaning service and professional organizer. A cluttered environment affects me mentally and emotionally. My husband is very visual. You cannot put anything away out of sight or it seems to cease to exist for him. So, anything of his will have to visible, which means clear plastic or glass. I don't care as long as it isn't scattered all over like it is now. I can start to do something now and be stressed out, confused, frustrated and overwhelmed in a matter of minutes. I end up hopping from one thing to another accomplishing NOTHING. And even if I do get some tiny thing done, he'll drag stuff out and leave it where it lies...for months if not years and I am not joking.

Another thing I've noticed in the past is that sometimes having a drink sets me off. Not always, but sometimes just one drink sends me up. Since I started getting so bad, I have avoided alcohol almost entirely.

Too much or too little sleep is a trigger.

Physical pain is a trigger. Sickness is a trigger.

Oddly, certain films seem to be a trigger. Certain historical sites are also triggers. Other people's suffering is a trigger. The animals' suffering is also a trigger.

Sound familiar? I think it would help to have a list, but I don't know if I've ever tried to make one before...