Avatar universal

How have you told people you're bi polar?

I want to tell my boyfriend but i'm not sure i should or how i would. He used bi polar as an insult. I've hinted that i am. There's been a lot that's happened of being bi polar and i don't want to tell him everything i don't think. I feel like if i told him about being on suicide watch, he would never talk to me again. I get so depressed one day then totally angry the next but then i'll be ecstatic for a few days. I'm experiencing mania right now. He always asks about my moods but i always tell him the same thing. "I don't know why i feel this why." What do i do?
16 Responses
585414 tn?1288941302
Yes I have disclosed to many people but each person is different in their decisions. NAMI friend and family support groups can be helpful for this.
800339 tn?1270433486
It has always come down to my comfort and trust level in people.  No one in my family besides, my parents know about my disorder; however, I have disclosed my disorders to my past boyfriends.  Not all of them, but the few who I felt had a distinct possibility of becoming more.

I think it helped open the door for them to understand how I tick, and why I tick the way I do.

It all comes down to what you feel comfort disclosing.  Don't rush it, and don't feel pressured or obligated to disclose your disorder.

Best of luck,

1240909 tn?1313712225
Personally, I feel if you can't disclose something like that to your bf of all people, then something's not right.  I just kinda feel in order to be in a healthy relationship, the lines of communication should be wide open.  No, this doesn't mean you need to disclose EVERYTHING that's happened or that does happen in your life.  But being bipolar is pretty important for him to know.  I feel he should know so he can better understand how your head works and so forth.

Have you been with him for a while?  Were you diagnosed while with him or before you got together?

And yes, my loved ones do know of my disorder.  They've had to know as I've been quite nuts in the past.  I'm sort of a jokester, so to speak though - meaning that I laugh at myself a lot.  So I think it was easier for them to accept.
1100992 tn?1262357216
My mom and my husband are the only ones that know.
1218509 tn?1267490923
I find that people can pick out others that have your disorder. There's a reason why I think this and here's why.

I have bipolar friend - and the funny part to this tale is that none of my friends know that I have bipolar. Before my doctor diagonsed me with it, my one friend said she could likely see me being diagonsed with bipolar. Mind you I think my friend is catching on because in my "low moods" I tend to rant about how much my medications do not work for me.
952564 tn?1268368647
I think in this circumstance I would actually wait to tell him, if at all. It doesn't sound like the best relationship or that he will likely support you. I mean, he already calls you bipolar as an insult. That's not good. Also to say he would never speak to you again if he knew you were on suicide watch. That is completely backwards. If he really cared about you, then he would want to help you stop being suicidal, not abandon you.

I would say it may be hard, but this might not be a lasting relationship and that's okay. You need someone who can be supportive of you, not critical. So, I would say wait to tell him.
607502 tn?1288247540
When  you ask a question here you are implicitly inviting comments from others, which you got.

Please  be mindful of things like your response which may upset people.  You posed a question and got honest answers which may not have been what you wanted.

Swearing at other members is never acceptable despite the auto **** effect.  
603015 tn?1329862973
I agree I did not respond for that reason, I thought it was unessersary
Avatar universal
I have told all my friends in the hope that if I get unwell they will recognise the signs and alert me. It doesn't always work as this illness can be very subtle.
1134609 tn?1269272200
It can be hit or miss...I had bad experiences with it and now I tend to keep it to myself..

For example, I coach football and I told some of the staff that I was BP. I was going to be spending more time with them over the space of four months than my own wife and I needed feedback and a little monitoring.

It came back to bite me; I missed several practices because of psychiatric appointments and because I was having a rough day. When it came up in a discussion, I was told by the coach above me that 'he felt they were reasonably accepting of my issue'. You're not 'reasonably' accepting with it; you just do or you don't. And, I am good at what I do and it showed through the season. But, that stigma is still there; I am not as close to the staff as I was before disclosing this.

As far as getting involved in a relationship, I don't know that you're going to have much of a choice. Being BP obviously involves a lot of maintenance; it's going to come up at some point. You may be perfectly stable, but they notice you taking your medication and ask what its for. Or you do have a mood swing and have to explain it to them.

I was engaged to a woman who was going through clinical depression/GAD and I had no idea. She could be difficult to be around, but I just wrote it off as her personality. She was off of her medication for awhile and decided to get back on them; also without me knowing. She developed insomnia and was extremely irritable for several months. It put a serious strain on our relationship. I was very frustrated when I found out about all of it, because it would've headed off a lot of arguments had I known that she wasn't feeling well. Or, that she was even struggling with it at all.
Avatar universal
When I was first diagnosed 15 years ago I would tell people.  Then it usually came back to haunt me.
Now I don't tell anyone about it unless I've known them for several years.  Usually they will tell me their son or daughter or spouse has bipolar and I will say, "So do I".  They usually don't believe me, but my Seroquel works well enough to hide the symptoms.  
However, in a relationship your significant other needs to know.  
I once saw this dating show where a guy had 7 girls to choose from.  One of the girls said right away she had bipolar and guess what?  He picked her!  At the end they made a toast to bipolar.  
1154462 tn?1327434379
My ex-husband found out because he's the one who first went to the psychiatrist with me.  he's been very supportive and understanding of the mood swings though because his mother has a very similar condition. Recently i told my parents and they were supportive since my dad also suffers from depression. Other than that, i've only told my best g/f at work and that's it. I would try not to disclose it to majority people otherwise it would make you think there's something wrong with you and that you need people to empathize. However, as far as your b/f is concerned, try to break it to him gently during your more normal periods, there are several meds out there to control to control these manic phases you're describing and i go through them almost every other day myself! If people don't know/understand/haven't dealt with this illness it's hard for them to see an otherwise healthy person acting abnormally so they might not react so positively.

However, I go by what my younger sister told me, "the brain's a very powerful organ so if you let it control you and make you feel weak, it WILL do that"
1192491 tn?1265031829
Only my immediate family have been told.  It is not because I am ashamed of myself or my disorder but because people do not understand Bipolar and uneducated in Bipolar.  I believe most of the general public think people with Bipolar are crazy and raving maniacs. Until the general public is educated on Bipolar, as they have been educated on depression, I will probably not freely disclose my disorder.
539549 tn?1315981662
I've been bipolar 8 years now I generally don't disclose it to people outside of family even with them I am a bit cautious.....
When it comes to boyfriends I told them all...I felt they would eventually grow close enough to find out. Some were more accepting than others ....I think it really depends on the person
Generally tho if I felt afriad to confide in others that I was bipolar I felt it was for a good reason tho.
Avatar universal
I too have a really stigmatized and a somehow related mental illness and I have disclosed to some family, various friends, people also with mental illness, people who could benefit from learning I have it and my bosses so they won't think I'm on drugs or something and so I can get accommodations.  If someone asks though who I don't want to disclose to specifically, generally I say I have "mental illness" or "a psychotic disorder".  A lot of times people either think I'm on drugs or am psychotic to begin with.
Avatar universal
I've told three people at work so far, just because I want someone on most of my shifts to know in case I start "weirding" out.  Other than my wife, no one in my family knows and I don't think I'll ever tell them.  I'm a detention nurse, and I've heard enough of my colleagues make snide remarks about inmates with bipolar disorder or any other mental illness that I'm very, very reluctant to tell anyone else at work.
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