How to deal with someone who might have Bipolar disorder but he doesn't know?

[Freya13]

Hello everybody,
First time I post something here and I hope I understood all the rules.
I just wanna ask a few question about bipolar disorder cause I think my boyfriend might has it but I'm not a doctor and I feel bad when I try to tell him about this. I don't wanna make him feel ill especially if it's not even true, I just would like to help him and try to understand what's happen in his mind!
It's the third time in 4 months that he wakes up feeling different, from one day to another for absolutely no reason. From being all loving and happy and full of energy he turns into a person who "doesn't feel anything for anybody and anything makes him happy"(me included of course) the first time it happened he told me that he felt like his feelings for me were not so strong anymore and he wanted to break up, cause he was feeling guilty for making me upset, cause I went mad when i first seen his different mood cause I couldn't understand how could he not love me anymore from one day to another(I still don't get that) so he told me that would have been better for me to not have him in my life cause he can't makes me happy cause his mood will always change! I thought was a bunch of excuses to just dump me cause I had no idea about what a bipolar disorder could be. then I did some research and I found out that it might be what my boyfriend has! After this episode we kinda break up for 2 weeks and after that he came back saying he loves me and misses me and we spent 3 amazing months together till now, when he woke up again feeling different,with no energy, and doubting his feelings for me! I didn't get angry this time cause I read that I might makes things even worse and maybe it's not true that he doesn't love me but it's just his "weird" moment that makes him think like that..I really couldn't avoid to cry but I tried to understand and I asked him what can I do to help and told him that I'm there for him. He asked me to leave him alone for a few days cause he want to try to get back to his "normal" phase and of course I leave him alone even if all this it's just so hard to face cause I just don't understand where is the truth. I don't understand if his feelings are real or not, how they can go and come back like this even if you have a bipolar disorder ? I told him I'm concerned about him to be bipolar and with my surprise he said that he might be but he never checked it out!and he will never do it!  I don't know what do really, I'd like to live an healthy relationship or at least find a way to fight these bad moments together, but everything i read about having a relationship with a bipolar sounds like hell on earth.
Now I'm just here waiting for him to decide what to do, to see if he will love me again the morning after or not. It sounds so weird to me I don't know how to handle it and I don't even know if he's bipolar at the end! What do you think? ?
I'm sorry for my bad English and if I wrote too much.

[specialmom]

Hi.  It's so hard to say.  I would not under any circumstances tell him that you think he might have bipolar.  We aren't doctors and should not try to diagnose our loved ones. But what you can do is tell him that you want him to feel better consistently.  Depression in general as well as anxiety can cause this type of moodiness you describe so don't try to put a name on this yourself.  Okay, I see you already talked to him about bipolar.  Hm.  Well, what can you do if he acknowledges that he has an issue but won't do the proper things to overcome that.  This then falls into the category of you have a serious choice to make.  Loving someone with untreated mental illness is a very difficult life.  If it were me, I'd tell him that he needs to follow through and see his doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist or you will have to end things ---  but only if you mean that.  And you might not.  You may feel that you want to stay with him regardless and put up with these ups and downs/ shifts in mood.   Psychiatrists and doctors often know when someone is having a bout of depression, anxiety, off their bipolar meds by the description their partner gives.  And the way their partner feels motivates the person to begin treating the disorder again.  Your boyfriend has to care enough to make a stable and peaceful life for the two of you to go ahead and get help.

I'm happy to talk more about this with you!  hugs