First off, I know what you mean about feeling alone, but you're really not. There are a lot of us in the world.
My doctor told me that bipolar is seasonal. I don't know if the seasons are the same for everyone, though. Because for me I love fall and winter. I like the cold, the cloudy, the shorter days. My bad season starts right before Mother's Day. It draggs me down and I really hate Mother's day, it is my least favorite day of the year. And I am a mother.
Anyway, then I struggle through the summer. I don't like the heat and I don't like being in the sun a lot. I cant' really explain it. But I love the fall, that is my favorite time. All of the changing leaves and such.
I would say, that you must have some friends? Maybe there is a support group or something you can join. I know there is something called Seasonal Affected Disorder which is depression caused by the winter months and not enough sunlight, maybe talk to your doctor about that. As for Christmas and Thanksgiving maybe you can volunteer your time if you're up to it. Giving to the less fortunate will not only give you a place to be on those days with others, but it might also help. Since you don't have a family you can maybe make a friend family or something.
Anyway, if nothing else you can at least come here and talk to us. It has helped me get through a pretty rough summer.
I also struggle with seasonal issues. I was diagnosed with bpd II 7 years ago, and I always thought that my bipolar was aggravated by the stress of school (high school and later on university). This was partially true, but it appears that the change of seasons truly do affect my moods. Notably, October and May are my worst months, even when not in school. Ironically, I love the fall season, but I fall into a horrible horrible mixed state followed by a sharp depression and a rapid cycle to hypo mania. By December, I'm usually ok, but when spring rolls around, it is the same thing.
My best advice: monitor your moods closely. Don't ingest alcohol or caffeine, and I agree with Xila31: find a community, support group or social club that is active in the holiday season. I've made great friends that way too.
Wow! Aqua when I read your message it was like I was describing my cycles and it is October (Halloween is like D-day) and again in the spring when I stuggle most with depression. I work in the education system so my rhythms are also triggered by my work.
One thing I tried last year and seemed to help somewhat was vitamin D supplements. I noticed your Canadian like myself and there is alot of evidence to support that we need it in the winter months as our bodies cannot make it without exposure to enough sunlight.
Yupyupyup it is helpful to share your thoughts , moods, ups and downs with this forum not just for you but all of us. Your not alone if you think of this space as part of your community.
I have problems with Spring. When we change our clocks to spring forward so do I! My biological clock gets all messed up big time especially if I don't get my rest. I do have depression during fall but mostly mania in Spring. It's very important for Bipolars to keep track of their circadian rhythms and make adjustments so you don't go to the extremes. Bipolars need structure You're always learning something new about this disorder. .