Is it normal to mistake highs and lows for drug use?

[Dadtc74]

I was aware of her bipolar condition but never knew he extent of her condition. five years ago she left her job and has not been able to return. She just qualified for healthcare but will not make appointments. Motivation to collect SS Disability is non existent and our financial situation is desperate as I have the only income in the house. Her adult daughter lives with us and I sense she also has bipolar depression issues and is not working. I am fearful I will lose my relationship, even worse I know I am not being as understanding as I once was, I recently lost my son to overdose and she can say some mean things about my family,

[Bubulous]

I am sorry to hear that you lost your son.  I saw that you posted in the addiction forum back in 2015 about him being in jail.
Since addiction is a disease and bipolar is as well it is very normal to confuse behaviors a person might show as being one or the other depending on how you feel and the person's history.
There are ways of telling the difference if you have enough experience or knowledge however.
A manic person might resemble a person who is high on meth.  It was hard for me when I got really clean the first time from pills because once substance induced mood disturbance was realized as actual bipolar, I didn't know that my behavior was abnormal.  I felt great, mania kicked in, and I was full of energy.  I had a short temper, OCD, easily distracted, and talked very fast.  People who didn't know that I went to treatment believed I was high when they talked to me and even some of the people who knew I went to treatment believed I was high.
I hope she can find the motivation to get the ball rolling on some of her problems.  A good paper trail of treatment speeds up the social security process.  If she is pursuing social security it is better to be in active recovery during the process.

[Dadtc74]

Thank you for responding. and thank you for your words about my son. She knew my son since he was 4 and it killed me that she recently admitted to me that she realizes how she kept me from visiting my son in various rehabs and prison. Her insecurities are deep as she pushes her family over mine. I am like a second father to her children and she blames it on my children that she isn't the same. I explain that it was my actions and demeanor that invited such rapport as opposed to her skepticism with my children. In the beginning of our relationship she was in treatment and when we were out in public she looked like she was given a date rape drug. I was worried because she had driven herself to meet me and I made her leave her car and I drove her home. This happened one more time and I explained to her how she appeared and then she told me the medicine she was given by Dr. - serriquil maybe. In any-case she stopped that med. Her moods seem to be short - the euphoria of manic episodes will last a day or two and her depression will last 3 to 4 days - could be much shorter even hourly. I can feel the chemistry changing via an aura type feeling. for example when her son is coming home from college about 2 days before she begins the mania part, while he is home the ADD kicks in then two days after he leaves she crashes hard. There is contention between her and my daughter and she will continually instigate an ugly argument between her and I to the point I feel rage - so I remove myself by going to bed then she will talk to herself out loud - I feel helpless & sad. She is a creative funny lively person at heart, but these last 5 years she has totally removed herself from society as she hasn't worked. She will go out with me but unfortunately with only one income we are in very bad financial standing.

[Dadtc74]

Bubulous Sorry for venting soo much - I need to get some professional help as my issues are deep -but anything to help me understand bipolar is appreciated as I am thinking I too may be bipolar especially when my anger kicks in.

[Bubulous]

Therapy would be a good idea for yourself.  If you never were diagnosed with bipolar before your brain became fully developed it is not likely that you have it.  That being said, being in a relationship with a person who has bipolar and being close to that person can likely make you feel that way.  You are going to go through the highs and lows with her and your anger is a separate issue.  All people-bipolar or not- have anger and even people without bipolar can experience and express extreme anger.
That is just something to think about.  I cannot tell whether or not you are but at the very least you likely have anger management issues and if you have codependency issues as well than that could be a dangerous combination in a relationship.
I know you are in a tough position and I am happy to pass on any knowledge that I can about bipolar and being in a bipolar relationship.