Aa
Is there hope?
ok this is the first time i have ever posted on a forum. but I almost feel compelled, as if someone out there might have an answer to all my problems. (haha). Ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was in my early teens. Now in my mid twenties, I feel as though I may be "bi-polar". Constant ups and downs, stressed, emotionally unstable, mood swings,.. you name it... Well I just quit my job and my husband is on deployment, my family is far away,... Either people say I "need to go see someone", or they tell me "everything will be ok".
Im not sure whats wrong with me. I feel as though I dont know my purpose in this world.
What do I want to be? What do I want to do? How am I supposed to know??
I just couldnt deal with working right now, so I quit. But now I feel quilty because Im not "carrying my own weight"(in my own words)
What in the world am I supposed to do???
Im not sure whats wrong with me. I feel as though I dont know my purpose in this world.
What do I want to be? What do I want to do? How am I supposed to know??
I just couldnt deal with working right now, so I quit. But now I feel quilty because Im not "carrying my own weight"(in my own words)
What in the world am I supposed to do???
You sound exactly like myself a few years ago when we were still trying to find the right med combo for me. I swear some days I didn't know if I was coming or going. One minute everything is fine and the next I was either crying or overly angry about something, then i'd go right back to ok. IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Get your pdoc appt. and keep it. Also ask them about a counselor (and keep asking until you find someone you are comfy with). If it wasn't for my counselor I don't think I'd be as stable as I am. It really helps to have someone to talk to and to help you sort out what are rational and reasonable reactions and what is junk. Another thing that will help big time is to reduce your life down to the bare minimums. The less things you have to deal with each day the better. (It will reduce your stress 10 fold) Once you get on some medications and a therapy routine and start to feel "normal" again you can slowly start adding more things back into your life. At one point I had actually gotten a day planner to keep track of all my appts and my part-time work schedule...and had to schedule "me" time into it just to keep myself from getting so stressed. Good luck and let us know if we can be of anymore help!!!
first off, i want to thank you all for your words of wisdom and concern. Even though I dont know you, Its nice to know that there are people like you out there.
After a night of insomia, Ive suprisingly been having a "good day" so far. Its still early, though.
I think Im going to call the pdoc today. ive got a few errands to run.
I think Im having an internal battle with myself. I feel like once I start this treatment, Im vulnerable. I dont know whats going on here. Any kind of stress makes me freak out now. ahhh.
anyway... Ill just leave it at that..
After a night of insomia, Ive suprisingly been having a "good day" so far. Its still early, though.
I think Im going to call the pdoc today. ive got a few errands to run.
I think Im having an internal battle with myself. I feel like once I start this treatment, Im vulnerable. I dont know whats going on here. Any kind of stress makes me freak out now. ahhh.
anyway... Ill just leave it at that..
As Daisy and Monkey said you really should follow up with the Psychiatrist. And remember that there is no perfect fit.(talking about your faith in doctor's) We have seen MULTIPLE psychologist's and I wish I could say the same for Psychiatrist's but we do not have a large availability of those here in my area. Sometimes it takes just one appointment to know "this just isn't going to work". My daughter is bipolar and we have been around the world and back looking for appropriate care (figuratively) and still haven't found the right meds or the right doctor's. I just fortunately have found faith in a friend who is helping us through this now who is not a psychiatrist but a pediatrician who knows how bad things are in the area we live in.
I digress.... Back to what I was saying is try the psychiatrist, you sound completely overwhelmed and it can go from bad to worse quickly. Sometimes it takes doctor shopping where health care is concerned to find the right fit, you have to like and trust the person behind the MD to actually get what you need out of your care. So sometimes it takes more than one appt. and more than one doctor to find what you need.
Stress is a big trigger with all illnesses and mental health issues. You get worn down and then things sneak up and bite you in the butt. While you are still thinking well enough to have the insight that things are not quite right is the best time to try and seek out the help that you need. Is there a chance you can go home for a while sometimes just being around family can help(that is if family is not a trigger also)... Don't let things get too out of hand and you end up inpatient some where because you have tried to harm yourself or something worse.
Take care of yourself firstly and then worry about the rest of it.
Amy
I digress.... Back to what I was saying is try the psychiatrist, you sound completely overwhelmed and it can go from bad to worse quickly. Sometimes it takes doctor shopping where health care is concerned to find the right fit, you have to like and trust the person behind the MD to actually get what you need out of your care. So sometimes it takes more than one appt. and more than one doctor to find what you need.
Stress is a big trigger with all illnesses and mental health issues. You get worn down and then things sneak up and bite you in the butt. While you are still thinking well enough to have the insight that things are not quite right is the best time to try and seek out the help that you need. Is there a chance you can go home for a while sometimes just being around family can help(that is if family is not a trigger also)... Don't let things get too out of hand and you end up inpatient some where because you have tried to harm yourself or something worse.
Take care of yourself firstly and then worry about the rest of it.
Amy
Don't feel bad about asking for advice - with mental illness (and other illnesses) we sit with things going round and round in our heads to the point that we no longer know what to think, so reaching out for advice and support is a good thing.
You've taken the first steps that monkeyc suggested so now you need to follow through on the psychiatrist appointment.
Follow monkeyc's advise regarding telling the pdoc everything. The pdoc will listen to what you are saying and from that will make a diagnosis and prescribe you a medication accordingly.
It is important that you listen to your pdoc and take the medication prescribed - unfortunately whether it be depression and anxiety or bipolar, medication is going to be needed and this is something you need to accept.
Let us know how you are getting on.
You've taken the first steps that monkeyc suggested so now you need to follow through on the psychiatrist appointment.
Follow monkeyc's advise regarding telling the pdoc everything. The pdoc will listen to what you are saying and from that will make a diagnosis and prescribe you a medication accordingly.
It is important that you listen to your pdoc and take the medication prescribed - unfortunately whether it be depression and anxiety or bipolar, medication is going to be needed and this is something you need to accept.
Let us know how you are getting on.
Asking for help is the first step. There's nothing wrong with it at all and trust me we have all been there - I'm going thru some stuff right now myself and a number of people on here have helped and are helping me, the one thing you learn about mental illness is the truth in the old adage that no one is an island - we all need other people around us.
Right now you need to follow up on the psych, you are having a crisis or crashing - then you can worry about the rest - I dont know the US system but surely in California they have some help for people without insurance? (I admit the US system horrifies someone who comes from a country with free/subsidised health care and a heavily subsidised prescription system - At least here in AU you can get free medical treatment for 99% of things and if your need is immediate the care is immediate.
Everyone has the problem with no faith in Dr's - we all have seen so many but you owe it to yourself to stop feeling the pain you are in right now so go and see the pdoc and start the process, its not going to be bump free or easy but it does get better. Trust me.
As for your job - ok you might have made an irrational decision but we all have , you can move past it.
Actually I have a question - you said your husband was deployed which means hes armed forces right? Don't the US armed forces have assistance for spouses and families in need of medical care? I know in Australia they have full assistance.
Right now you need to follow up on the psych, you are having a crisis or crashing - then you can worry about the rest - I dont know the US system but surely in California they have some help for people without insurance? (I admit the US system horrifies someone who comes from a country with free/subsidised health care and a heavily subsidised prescription system - At least here in AU you can get free medical treatment for 99% of things and if your need is immediate the care is immediate.
Everyone has the problem with no faith in Dr's - we all have seen so many but you owe it to yourself to stop feeling the pain you are in right now so go and see the pdoc and start the process, its not going to be bump free or easy but it does get better. Trust me.
As for your job - ok you might have made an irrational decision but we all have , you can move past it.
Actually I have a question - you said your husband was deployed which means hes armed forces right? Don't the US armed forces have assistance for spouses and families in need of medical care? I know in Australia they have full assistance.
Sometimes I dont even know the words that come out of my head. its like words on paper, or text, just dont reflect whats really going on in your head. Im re-reading what Ive written, and cant believe what ive said. anyway..
I guess I really shouldnt keep expecting people to tell me what I need to do.
I guess I really shouldnt keep expecting people to tell me what I need to do.
wow. i wasnt expecting such a quick reply. I must admit, as soon as i started reading your response, i started crying. and still am.
truth is, Ive been seeing my family dr. and a few days ago i went to the ER for my depression. They referred me to yet another psychiatrist, with whom I have not yet followed up with. I know now that I probably made a really irrational decision walking out on my job. I still dont think it has sunk in yet. But I cant continue like this. Im going crazy, as cliche as that sounds. I feel as though I have no direction right now. I dont know where Im going or what Im doing, Or, now, How Im going to pay the bills.
I guess I dont have any faith in drs. Ive been to different ones, and its just all the same BS. They tell me what I already know, and then give me a drug. Im tired of it. I need some real HELP.
truth is, Ive been seeing my family dr. and a few days ago i went to the ER for my depression. They referred me to yet another psychiatrist, with whom I have not yet followed up with. I know now that I probably made a really irrational decision walking out on my job. I still dont think it has sunk in yet. But I cant continue like this. Im going crazy, as cliche as that sounds. I feel as though I have no direction right now. I dont know where Im going or what Im doing, Or, now, How Im going to pay the bills.
I guess I dont have any faith in drs. Ive been to different ones, and its just all the same BS. They tell me what I already know, and then give me a drug. Im tired of it. I need some real HELP.
wow. i wasnt expecting such a quick reply. I must admit, as soon as i started reading your response, i started crying. and still am.
truth is, Ive been seeing my family dr. and a few days ago i went to the ER for my depression. They referred me to yet another psychiatrist, with whom I have not yet followed up with. I know now that I probably made a really irrational decision walking out on my job. I still dont think it has sunk in yet. But I cant continue like this. Im going crazy, as cliche as that sounds. I feel as though I have no direction right now. I dont know where Im going or what Im doing, Or, now, How Im going to pay the bills.
I guess I dont have any faith in drs. Ive been to different ones, and its just all the same BS. They tell me what I already know, and then give me a drug. Im tired of it. I need some real HELP.
truth is, Ive been seeing my family dr. and a few days ago i went to the ER for my depression. They referred me to yet another psychiatrist, with whom I have not yet followed up with. I know now that I probably made a really irrational decision walking out on my job. I still dont think it has sunk in yet. But I cant continue like this. Im going crazy, as cliche as that sounds. I feel as though I have no direction right now. I dont know where Im going or what Im doing, Or, now, How Im going to pay the bills.
I guess I dont have any faith in drs. Ive been to different ones, and its just all the same BS. They tell me what I already know, and then give me a drug. Im tired of it. I need some real HELP.
OK. First things first there's one thing I want you to do.
Sit back and take a deep breath and just breathe. It sounds silly but trust me its the first step down the road.
Next thing you need to do is get some help - well meaning people always say the 2 things you just said but what matters right now is you and you come first.
I dont know your situation but the first step if it was me would be the family doctor, talk to them about how you feel and then ask them for advice and (not sure if this is how it works in the US) a referral to a psychiatrist - its a psychiatrist (or pdoc on here) you are going to need to see for a full diagnosis.
When you get there you need to do a few things. First be completely honest about your history and how you are feeling, what you have gone through and what you are going through right now - this is really important and the second thing to do is listen - it sounds silly but a lot of patients don't listen to their doctors.
Thats the process of diagnosis - treatment is something ongoing.
Now thats assuming you are coping ok with the world to be functional which right now you might now be - with no husband and family a long way away you do not seem to have a support network - if you are really having a problem coping do us a huge favour ok - Go to the hospital and see someone.
Too many people think they dont need to and they try and deal with the deluge of thoughts on their own and it swallows them - Ive woken up in a closed ward after a suicide attempt and its not fun so promise us you will get help if you feel like you cant cope ok.
Remember this : you are not alone, you are not crazy and there's nothing abnormal about being mentally ill if you are - its just another version of normality and you can get through this - there are plenty of us here who will help how we can but the first step has to be yours right now and I urge you to take it and get some help - you would be amazed how much of a load off the mind just getting a diagnosis is..
The first step is the hardest, the rest get easier.
Sit back and take a deep breath and just breathe. It sounds silly but trust me its the first step down the road.
Next thing you need to do is get some help - well meaning people always say the 2 things you just said but what matters right now is you and you come first.
I dont know your situation but the first step if it was me would be the family doctor, talk to them about how you feel and then ask them for advice and (not sure if this is how it works in the US) a referral to a psychiatrist - its a psychiatrist (or pdoc on here) you are going to need to see for a full diagnosis.
When you get there you need to do a few things. First be completely honest about your history and how you are feeling, what you have gone through and what you are going through right now - this is really important and the second thing to do is listen - it sounds silly but a lot of patients don't listen to their doctors.
Thats the process of diagnosis - treatment is something ongoing.
Now thats assuming you are coping ok with the world to be functional which right now you might now be - with no husband and family a long way away you do not seem to have a support network - if you are really having a problem coping do us a huge favour ok - Go to the hospital and see someone.
Too many people think they dont need to and they try and deal with the deluge of thoughts on their own and it swallows them - Ive woken up in a closed ward after a suicide attempt and its not fun so promise us you will get help if you feel like you cant cope ok.
Remember this : you are not alone, you are not crazy and there's nothing abnormal about being mentally ill if you are - its just another version of normality and you can get through this - there are plenty of us here who will help how we can but the first step has to be yours right now and I urge you to take it and get some help - you would be amazed how much of a load off the mind just getting a diagnosis is..
The first step is the hardest, the rest get easier.
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