Mixed Emotions

[jessmeow]

I am just so sick of everyone telling me how I should be feeling, I am sick of people telling me that I should be relieved to finally be diagnosed after years of been diagnosed. I am just so fed up with everything, it just makes me so angry that they think they have the right to tell me how I should feel.

This is me, not them. Am I relieved? Partially... But more than anything I am petrified and I feel lost, a diagnosis of depression or PTSD was simple, bipolar is not that simple. To me it means that nowadays, if I start spiralling, there is little to stop me, if I go manic what is there to stop me? All there really is, is medication and I've only just started on that.

People try to be supportive, but I just wish they'd stop acting as if it was something simple, it's not. My whole life has been turned upside down and I am petrified, there is no-one in my family with bipolar let alone depression. I feel so alone, and it hurts. I just wish that those around me could understand and stop telling me how I should feel.

I've only just been diagnosed for crying out loud, aren't I even allowed to have time to accept this on my own, and decide for myself how I feel in my own time.

How did other people cope with being told they were bipolar? I am so confused and just going through so many mixed emotions right now, and don't really have anybody else to talk to about this...

[TheeDemeter]

Hi Jess,
There will always be people who belittle your condition and give "helpful" advice as to how you should help it. Ha Ha right. Most people are uninformed about depression and definately don't bother to do their homework when it comes to  Bi Polar.
For me being diagnosed was a relief. I have been depressed since I was 11, hospitalized at 15  and up and down and up and down my whole adult life.( I am 40) No one diagnosed me with Bi Polar until 2 1/2 years ago. Finally, I know what is wrong with me and I can start being treated correctly.  
Work with the meds, don't take them intermittently - be consistant with them. It takes a while to tell if it is the right med and dosage.
You can get a handle on it now...or at least start. Your not fighting a ghost anymore, it has a name and you can work with the treatments.
Being diagnosed gives you some power back.

Take Care Jess
Demeter

[hell1971]

Right there with you, I was diagnosed in december, its tough and I have been through many differrent emotions since then not only are you told you have bipolar but you are in a current episode so my emotions were all over the place anyway, I am screaming from inside today as you can see from my previous post today, just know you are not alone here but I know its no substitute for someone tangiable that you can relate and advise, I am desperate to meet someone who is also bipolar and have sent off some emails to see about a local support group. It will take time, hang in there.