heartbreak

[ina_ina_89]

I am taking a class and in it I have am very infatuated with this boy, but it seems that he is hinting that he is not interested. I have constantly been crying because the rejection feels so unbearable. I feel as if rejection is all I have to show for my love life. I don'[t even know if I can handle a real relationship because I am severely depressed over an infatuation. Please anyone, I need your help. I feel almost like falling in love was not meant for me, however I want so much to know what it is like to be in a loving relationship with someone. What can I do to get passed this and can I even handle an actual relationship when the time comes? Please help me someone.

[tigercity]

I went through the same thing, multiple times, with a bunch of different guys. One particular guy affected me so strongly that I ended up having a major depressive episode when he rejected me, and that landed me in hospital.
Dealing with bipolar (aka overwhelming emotions) has taught me one thing. Don't give in. However long drawn or powerful an emotional episode can be, it will pass. With this guy, it took me close to a year. But it did pass. It did. If you convince yourself of that, it will pass sooner.
What you need to realise about the future is that when you do end up meeting the 'right' guy, if you have practiced controlling the effect your emotions have on you, you will now be ready to deal with the emotional turmoil that comes with a real relationship. Its not about 'being' ready, its about making yourself ready. All these small heartbreaks happen so that you can make yourself stronger and learn to deal with yourself before the time for something real comes along.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope you happiness and well-being in the future.

[lindahand]

I know right now it feels really crappy and like things will never get better but they will. The right guy will come along and you'll be the centre of his world and you his. Don't do like I did and settle for the first one that showed me any affection. Dumb dumb idea.

The only way to find the right one is to date. And you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. A lot of frogs. Try not to take it personally when things don't work out. There are a lot of nice people out there that make horrible mates for you and you them. Better to find out quickly than waste more of your time.

Except the ex-husband, I consider some of my ex's friends. It didn't work out but they are still nice guys.

And you are right that no one wants to be around someone who is depressed all the time, but the right one can manage the depressions knowing they don't last forever. You aren't depressed all the time. In the meantime you can do all you can to help yourself be ready for your mate. Eat well, exercise ... you know the drill.

I was married to the wrong man for 10 years. We got married when I was 19. I was looking for the love I never got from my father. I ended up with a verbally abusive arse. Being 10 years older and a lot wiser the fellow I married the second time around was for the right reasons. We have a steady love. I know that he would do anything for me, and I him. We are human and have our disagreements but we always come back together in love. He isn't perfect but he is perfect for me. We've been married 6 years and it seems like only yesterday we were dating.

I strongly suggest getting some counselling around this. Not because you are abnormal but because it will help you know yourself better and knowing yourself better will build your self esteem, which will help you weather these storms easier.