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337492 tn?1212458836

Talking to myself

Hello my fellow bipolars.  I have had this strange habit for most of my life, in fact, I think since early childhood.  I have this constant voice in my head and I conversate with it all the time.  It is kind of me talking in my head,  but I ask it questions and I answer it.  Am I crazy or is this normal for bipolars?  I was getting ready for bed just now and having a conversation with my brain voice and thought, I wonder if other bipolars do this?  I talk to myself all the time, even out shopping.  People probably think I am a crazy person.   Atleast I am not a lonely person, I always have my brain friend! LOL  Thanks!
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Avatar universal
i would just like to say a massive thank to you all I've been struggling for the past 17 years using weed to cover the way i feel with my bi-polar so that i can try and feel normal but deep down I have always known this isn't right but its how I have learnt to cope. After reading  all your posts i broke down and cried my heart out and not in sadness for the first time in my like but for relief I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE I truly believe this is my turning point and I cant thank all enough for sharing .  

P.S we so should do a bi-polar secret society hahaha
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Avatar universal
Oh thank goodness!!!! Other than my mother(God rest her soul) & my very 1st shrink, having conversations when no one was physically there, that was kept between the 3 of us.  I always tried to hide it. Pretended like I was singing.  I thought singing was acceptable.  Talking to yourself was not.  Even right before typing this. That's just crazy.  
Huh, acceptable...that word.
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Avatar universal
Hi there. I also have a similar problem. I constantly talk to myself in my head. Like 24/7. Depending on my current mood, a different voice will speak in my conversations. If im happy then my voice is young and youthful and free thinking. But if im down or sad its a deeper and more intense voice that says the facts and points out the obvious and flaws and things i wouldnt normally pick up on. When im alone i dont even deny it. I sit there not move my lips once. But have a full conversation with myself. Could be about anything. I reply to myself as if some one is talking to me but its not me. It also depends on how i dress. If i wear smart clothes like trousers shirts ties suits etc. My whole persona changes to this want to be professional type guy. Very formal and good vocab but when i wear my snapback caps joggers skinny jeans or something i speak more urban and walk and talk differently. Its so weird. I cant control it. Help?
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Avatar universal
I've talked to myself for as long as I can remember. I mean full conversations. I do it when I'm alone. I do it mostly while looking in the mirror. I've had 4 people in total see me or just over hear me. The conversations can be about anything from stuff I'm going threw that makes me mad, sad or worried. Sometimes it's practising a conversation that I know I'm gonna have with some or just a made up conversation that I may never have. I answer back though. It's like when I'm looking in the mirror saying my part, in my head something responds and then I just keep talking(responding). Sometimes I'm so into it when I'm interrupted I get irritated because I couldn't finish. I don't know why I do this. I do feel a little crazy...
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Avatar universal
I started talking to myself a Lot (and even did while I was typing this comment), when I started taking Lamictal.
Lamictal has been quite helpful for my bipolar depression since the start - even at 25mg - and has gotten even more effective since getting up to 100mg/day about 2 weeks ago.
However!...yes, I talk to myself a great deal.  Almost as if I were talking to an infant in the room, I tell myself what I'm doing, what choice would be better over another, what I plan to do next...etc.
It started after I began Lamictal.  I am feeling so much better; I have much more energy and motivation, and am overall pleased.  Talking to myself out loud doesn't bother me so much (I'm not talking about anything other than whatever task is at hand), and I've been able to stop myself effectively as time has gone on.  I feel that I will be able to handle it and keep a lid on it ( when not appropriate) as time goes on.
Synopsis:  I've felt a significant improvement of my quality of life, and don't feel that having conversations with myself is unmanageable - granted, if I did not feel that I could manage that side-effect, I would need to give much pause as to whether it could be tolerated or not.
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Avatar universal
Id like to point out i run scenarios in my head but i talk aloud asif i am there talking with friends does anyone else do this too?
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Avatar universal
Hi everyone ive been reading a few posts and i can say theres something just a little different, i to talk to myself but i have noticed its not me answearing its either someone i know or someone id like to meet, someone please tell me thats normal
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Avatar universal
Well I think yu are very smart you made sense through your whole conversation. I am not a Dr but it sounds like you have attention deficient disorder. My younger sister has that and she constantly talks to herself out loud and i also do it but I am bp but I don' think that has anything to do with it. She can't remember anything either unless she writes it on paper. I hope you are seeing a shrink or in therapy as you need to talk to them about it. their are meds for it that really help her when she takes it. now the reason I don't think talking out loud to your self is caused from being bp is I was diagnosed in 1987 and yes when I was manic I heard voices in my head but didn't verbalize them out loud. I would say that now being on meds all these yrs and being treated with meds it has just been maybe the last 5yrs that I really talk aloud all the time and I do mean all the time I argue with myself, I hate to say it but I ***** all the time the list goes on and on but it is an outlet for my brain so I am unloading it all the time and reloading because I can't keep it all bottled up or I would explode. I suffer from severe anxiety and to me that's what causes it I stress all the time over little things big things everything I over analyze everything before I do anything. To me it is not a bad thing at all I love myself and   love talking to my self out loud or not and I don't care what other people think at all. Simply because I and you and all the people posting on here are truly intelligent that's what you have to remember it has been proven that people who talk aloud to themselves are very smart. So think of that the next time you are talking to yourself out loud. Now think of people who never talk who are so quiet who keep to themselves and never join in on a conversation at all I'm sorry but I would rather talk to myself or people all the time than be quiet......hope this helps someone and remember it is just my take on why we do this.....
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Avatar universal
I figured talking to myself made me look crazy anyway, so I live in a musical now. I will sing the recipe or which pipe I'm gluing next. If I start singing or taking fast in Spanish, my family knows to be watching. My own voice talks real loud sometimes. Not like I'm yelling at myself, just the volume to my thoughts is cranked to 11. The singing helps, though I am a horrible singer. I live with a trained vocalist, but I guess I enjoy being laughed at, it's better than the blank stare. It's not a cure, but it sure makes things more interesting. I incorporate some dance moves too, that's when you know I'm feeling it. If I take my quirks less seriously, it seems like others do too.
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Avatar universal
hi..there,
i am thinking too much and talking to myself, people would hear it and "say he is mad".any solution for this problem.
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1 Comments
My comment is the are genius, not crazy or mad.
6827092 tn?1389384819
This thread is sooo funny! I really feel home here lol. I do not hear voices but I have often conversation with myself. And even speak loud in shops etc- comenting on stuf I see :)). And omg in the car :)) I talk to other drivers all the time lol
Nice to see I am not nuts alone.
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Avatar universal
I am with you. I went to a lot of group therapy in the hospital setting in the past and now, and no one who had the bipolar diagnosis ever talked about voices in their heads like me. There were times I thought I was "odd man out." I am glad you responded to this post because I would never have seen it. It is nice to know that people who are bipolr hear the same voice in their heads, in my case, voices, or see the same people for each times I had hallucinations. In my worse episodes, they were living in my head.

Like Crystlas. I never felt lonely. During check in for partial program, one of the usual check in questions was "Do you feel isolated?" and I never felt isolated even though I spent a lot of time by myself. My mind was constantly on, no matter if I was hypomanic, mixed states, asleep, depressed and deadened or whatever. That part, everyone talked about but not the conversations, and no mentions of voices. At my worse, I was talking out loud. Answering back, and whatever. /to me they were real. I really couldn"t distinguish a real person from someone from my mind. I used to talk to have conversations with someone behind me as I walked down the street, and a few times, I have seen him, but it turned out he never existed or when I turned around, the guy wasn"t there. It never bothered me when I discovered this. So, he isn"t here, well he is gone now. That;s all I thought. Even now, when I know that it was an hallucination, it doesn"t bother me at all.

The only thing that disturbed me was that I was diagnosed and knew I was bipolar, but no one talked about this part or said this happens to them. Other people with bipolar disorder felt lonely, did feel isolation, and didn"t really want to be alone. I couldn"t wait to be alone.

I used to think that this was the way my mind was going to be from now on. Because when I was "stable" before, my mind still played out scenarios, still worked overtime, and not quiet. Now, it is pretty quiet. I am still thinking, but it is not "obvious" or "loud." anymore. There is no conversation. I can still brainstorm, create, think out of the box, play out scenarios, but it comes out when I want it to. It isn"t on "automatic pilot." My mind feels pretty relaxed. It is a big difference.

Here's the funny thing though. I still don"t feel alone when I am by myself with a quiet mind. I still prefer to be by myself when I go places or do things..even travelling to remote places where there isn"t another human being for hundreds of miles, and the only way in is by floatplane. It isn"t that I am not a social person, because I do enjoy people and can enter into conversation and interactions easily. I just like my alone time...even when it is really quiet now, up in my head. I used to think I wasn"t capable of lounging around vacations or time. Now, it's not a problem. I love being able to just lounge and fall asleep in a beautiful, peaceful setting with a quiet head and do nothing but that. For me, that is absolute luxury. For now, I really am treasuring and enjoying every moment of quiet and recovered eyesight. Especilly, after I had the "recovery unlikely" prognosis in both.
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Avatar universal
This is me.
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Avatar universal
I thought I was the only person who did this.. Its making me crazy , It makes me sad all the time.
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Avatar universal
I thought I was the only person who did this.. Its making me crazy , It makes me sad all the time.
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Avatar universal
hey guys im so much relaxed after reading ur stories....because the same things happens to me......my mind is never relaxed nd i always keep thinking....i always imagines the things which has happened to me....nd which i want to happen with
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Avatar universal
Well, I guess you've got your answer. But I don't think it's just bipolars that do it.  My wife isn't and for 25 years I've crossed the house wondering if she's talking to me and nope, she's talking to the voice in her head.
My difficulty is my "self-talk" isn't generally encouraging, and I don't talk back.  That's normal for me.  I can watch a tv show that's a comedy and think it's really funny and not utter a chuckle.  I'm trying to change that for the sake of my little boys.
I just have the conversations in my head.  I worry someday that it may be more than that!
Rogelio
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Avatar universal
Hehehe I am glad I am not alone in this! I thought I was going crazy as well. I've always had conversations in my head......its just that lately the conversations go on and on that it interrupts with my daily life and they make me like zone out. i've told some friends but they say its normal to talk to yourself! but I keep thinking its not normal to talk as much as I do. I sometimes forget where I am because I am so into my conversations. Sometimes they don't let me sleep! and I want to stop it and I can't I would conversate out loud and do hand movements like if I was explaining to someone else. Also sometimes the conversations repeat all over in my head obsessively..... a conversation can last hours! sometimes its gives me anxiety :S I am scared to drive because ill start having a conversation and I forget I am driving and I don't feel there behehe. I think this is happening more because I haven't been taking my meds lately.......anyways I thought i'd share lol
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Avatar universal
Do you think maybe you could explain to me a little more about what you wrote above?
"repeating  themselves and also rehearsal conversations and obsessive thoughts/conversations, thats where i am right now and not sure what to make of it." I too have this happen, and have for a long time, it does get worse, and now that I am semi stable on Lamictal it has calmed down a bit, and I catch myself doing it, and can stop. But the rehearsal conversations, sometimes I'll be thinking about a conversation thats not going to happen, just a possible conversation, and I'll get stuck on one particular phrase and repeat it over and over in my head or in a whisper until I catch myself and stop. ILAD or hell1971, or anyone, do you know what that is?
Like I said, w/ the Lamictal and my mood stabilized better it has slowed down quite a bit, but still I catch myself doing it? Anyhow...thanks.
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585414 tn?1288941302
Before recovery I didn't talk out loud but I did mentally. I always said I had "bad thoughts" to people and didn't know they were actually voices (auditory hallucinations) so that's why although I first started having that problem at age 13 I didn't start medication (which was my own idea to see a psychiatrist and sadly I didn't have the emotional support of the family at first) until age 18.
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Avatar universal
I off and on had a voice in my head most of my life before I started medication but I argued with it in my head instead of out loud and it definitely wasn't my friend.  I guess it's more reasons why no one ever suspected something was wrong with me and I thought it was supposed to be happening.
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574118 tn?1305135284
this is common for everybody to talk to yourself, it isn't bp all the time to blame. when at college reciting my lessons, i would tell myself with loud voice sould you get such question then the answer is so and so. in the shower don't you all sing. this isn't hypomania. everybody does it. but because bp are more honest to themselves and their emotions are lose they aren't ashamed of showing them around. of course not everybody does that, OR if he does it he is aware that nobody sees him. what is called wrong is when it affctes your health only, this doesn't harm anybody neither it worsens your bp on the contrary it's healthy. also OCD folks like me do it often, you know why to ascertain a certain idea in my mind i.e. to double check what is in your mind.

there is only one way to call it wrong. if someone asks me whether talikng to oneself is right or wrong, OF COURSE i would say this is nut, it's crazy and not done, but it doesn't mean i don't do it. For example, it's quite known that cleaning the inside of my nose with my fingers is unethical, this doesn;'t mean that i never did it

i don't see anything wrong talking to oneself
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603015 tn?1329862973
i too talk to myself but i know that when i was sick it got a whole lot worse, my conversations were random, faster, looping ie repeating  themselves and also rehearsal conversations and obsessive thoughts/conversations, thats where i am right now and not sure what to make of it.
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Avatar universal
[apologies for derailing like crazy but I will still post this in the hopes someone understands]

I think I am ******* crazy as well. There's a voice in my head too! It's not like I think it's really someone else although it seems to have different thoughts from me about everything. Well I don't know if it's different thoughts more like I personally don't have any opinions really and this voice in my head just randomly decides to have thoughts because he is annoyed with me not having actual thoughts of my own.

Also I don't really like talking with other people because I feel really nervous that they will see how weird I am. So I try to "act normally" by making all the expressions that I see most people make, and I try to "think from their point of view" to try to make those expressions like smiling and laughing at the right time.

But I feel like I don't really feel these things. If that makes sense? I know it doesn't and yet I can't make it make sense. I hate how I can't keep a logical coherent train of thought--for example just look at how I am typing and how this is meandering everywhere--but when I try to think "logically" I just kind of shut down.

I mean that trying to put my emotions and thoughts in an order that will make sense to other people is plainly impossible for me to be honest.

Like I try to listen to people and follow what they are saying but although I am hearing and understanding the individual words coming out of their mouths it just doesn't "connect" in a manner that makes sense in my head. And people look at me like I am stupid although I know that isn't true. They get that look on their face that says "you aren't hearing anything I'm saying are you?" And I think they are hurt and then I feel extreme guilt and become nervous.

Speaking of nervousness, it is constant and extremely frustrating. I want to be able to be normal like I see people act in movies, with honest and open expressions of love and happiness and sadness, but all I feel is fear and worry and suspicion and ...

I don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes I am interested in things but only rarely and only in weird ways. I wish I could be more specific, but another problem that exacerbates everything is that I cannot remember anything. At least not in the way most people do.

For example I cannot tell people about what I did yesterday or today or anything without great effort. And I can't capture in words how I liked my experiences or how they made me feel. I will look at the sky sometimes and cry at the beauty and have no idea how to express this. I say "the sky is so beautiful" but I don't think people understand. And, most frustrating of all, I CANT TELL ANYONE HOW THIS FEELS because any words I use always come out garbled and nonsensiscal so I just do not talk. Some types of people don't mind my inability to come up with anything to say in a conversation and they just talk and talk, and it's like I hear and sometimes I can follow what they are saying but usually not, and I don't know how to express that I'm listening or how to comment on what they said.

And it's not like I don't feel things or have any thoughts, although a lot of the time I think that is true.

I don't know. I usually just give up halfway when trying to talk to someone because I see they don't understand what I'm talking about and HELL even I don't.

Jesus christ what is wrong with me.

If anyone read this, I want to apologize for making no sense, but also thank you for listening, maybe you understand in a way.
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