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1438412 tn?1315507919

The big black hole

I am bi-polar, but I feel like for the last couple of weeks I don't feel anything but pain and and yet numb. I hate this way of life. Sometimes I think I have a handle on everything bipolar, depression, chronic pain and last but not least feeling like I'll never stop eating and lose weight. But those times are becoming less and less. I have got so much support from from friends on several forums. But I have felt to down and tired to post so I haven't heard from anybody. I miss the support, but I'm just too tired (depressed) to post on all the forums and I'm afraid I'll end up out of the loop. This isn't making any sense at all. I'm sorry I quess I wanted to complain, but I've run out of steam. I wish I could let all my friends know I haven't dropped off the earth, but I really wish I could.
Best Answer
520191 tn?1355635402
I hate the big black hole too. I dread it. I fear the never ending doom that comes over me when i am depressed. It sometimes feel like nothing could ever be right ever again. I sleep a lot as well. It *****. Its uncontrollable. The demons battle consistently all around leaving me with no motivation and energy. Anger builds to the point of a bomb exploding... and then all of a sudden the mania sprouts and excitement grows and the little need to sleep appears. the flight of ideas run so fast, they become uncatachable.The imagination is carried away as the energy flows so deep and all the worries are washed away. even though all the money is gone and can no longer pay the bills, inside you know it will be all ok.
Then the cycle repeats...

For me this is the way of bipolar. I want you to know that I am here. And although everyone's experiences are different, if you can see some similarity's in what i have written, then you will know you are not alone. and some how for me that it what gives me some comfort and relief. that i am not some freak of nature but just someone who has a mood disorder. And that this world is a terrifying place at times but it can be a great place too. The only way to make sense of things is to realize that all these thoughts and feelings are the disorder! then that makes us normal.
A BIG HUG FROM ME!
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520191 tn?1355635402
You are most welcome. Unfortunately I have been depressed now for about 2 months after a massive mixed episode. It is the life of a bipolar person. and it is so hard but i could really relate to your story so thank you for finding the energy to post. we have to stick together so that we can achieve greatness.
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1438412 tn?1315507919
Thank you so much for caring and being there for me. Remembering it will end is all that gets me through this. But this time its lasting so long I forgot that it will pass. you reminded me of that, so it will help through this knowing tommorrw may be better. Thank you so much. Love Gail
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