Therapy experience

[007Bunny]

Hi all,
I started therapy two weeks ago so had two sessions so far. It goes well I think. I discovered some things and put some pieces together. I had a major breakdown after first session and cried a river. I felt a massive relief after the second one - last Thursday however I am back depressed since yesterday, feeling empty and a bit lost. Something like 'and what now?'.
Could you pls tell me what your experience is? Do you feel the same?
Marie  

[007Bunny]

Thank you both. Think it is too soon to set up some whatever goal. Yes Tony, I feel like I do not have any purpose. I don't want anything at the moment. Anything I will do will be just a small plug to the massive hole however the hole itself will be still there. So this is it: try to survive from one day to another. Think my acting qualities would get me to Broadway.
I realized I have to go through it and it won't be easy and it is not. I am hoping I will one day find my purpose.
I also do not plan much on the day of therapy. No point. As you said I don't know how I will look like. I spend as much time as I need sitting in the car, listening the music, thinking ...
No pain no gain - I know. At the moment it is a pain. xxx

[persephonedemeter]

I had 35 years of therapy...and saying that, I am not sure that I like saying that. Anyway, therapy can be like an emotional rollercoaster, even for peole who have no mental disorder. Personally, it sounds like your therapy is going pretty good if you are able to talk, vur hopwduly, your therapist will not only listen to you but support you and give you want you need and expect to make you stronger and well.

I learned to never schedule anything at least 2 hours before and 2 hours after therapy. Two hours before, but I prefer not to schedule anything except therapy on "therapy day." I usually walk to a cafe and think quietly to myself about what was said in therapy, but  I don't hold myself to that routine. It depends on how I am. If I am upset by the time I end therapy, my therapist usually checks in with me and make sure that I am okay to leave. It seems I process alot after a therapy session. I normally reflect on the session and think about it right afterwards. I won't drive directly after a session. I have seen people come out of therapy and just sit awhile in the lobby to settle themselves. I prefer walking awhile. There was a time when I knew I would come out with a lot on my mind and that I would want to retreat, so I took care of myself by taking a long walk, working out, shooting pool and going bowling by myself, or swimming laps. When I felt like nurturing but didn't want to be too active but wanted some sort of  "freeing up my mind" I took a steam or dry sauna and cold plunges and rested. In the time between therapy sessions, I continue to think occasaionally about what was brought up and said during therapy. That is when I know therapy is working. It is one of the aspects of therapy. In the beginning or depending on what I am going through, therapy can be a rollercoaster ride.

I llearned not to  drink alcohol, do recreational drugs, contact sports, target practice of any kind, have sex, socialize, practice self defense or do anything that may cause me to act out or cause harm to myself or anyone else, emotionally or physically after a therapy session. I also make sure I am never on the job on a therapy day. I never knew if I would get upset or angry if something comes up. I found out a few people I knew did the same thing I did. Some even had a "ritual," after therapy. One friend will cross train in a gym for an hour, then go for sushi, and then walk home every time after his therapy day. He never deviated from that routine. Therapy can leave a person emotionally raw or vulnerable right afterwards. There are times when it doesn't, but I have to say, that for me, I generally spend time afterwards reflecting on the therapy session. Btw, I don"t drink alcohol or recreational drugs since having bipolar disorder. I am pretty happy with it staying in the past and being history.

[weaver71]

I have always called it the, "Now What Syndrome." I lived in Hawaii on one of my favorite manic episodes. Built a hut in the forest, sold coconuts for a little cash and harvested wild foods. Naked on an island in the rain with a machete in my hand, it was my dream come true. The simple good life of childhood dreams. I awoke in my hammock and thought, "Now what?" Had I achieved my every dream? Was that it, until I die? I have ever since felt I had to have a purpose, something I believe in to keep me moving forward. It is the journey, not the destination. Perhaps it is many destinations.

Is there a goal or dream you have had recurring? What inspires you? Hobbies? God? Mountaineering? "WhAt" now is up to you. Chop wood, carry water, follow your inspiration.