Wanting to come off meds - torn

[hell1971]

I have been unwell for near on two years, have been medicated for around 10 months and have not had much of a positive response yet, nothing that lasts anyway, I have been on lithium and am now on eplimum and olanzapine combo, my doc wants to see if I am stable in 6 weeks and then he will gradually take me off the olanzapine as I have put on too much weight, he says if that causes a problem he would like me to try adding quitiepine. Im fed up and sick to death of medication, he wants me on a maintenance program but i dont want to be on meds all my life also and especially when they seem to be only dampening the mood swings, I am in therapy, I have a stressful life and one I can do little about, my 9 year old has bipolar or at least has been diagnosed with a mood disorder with anxiety, she becomes suicidal and as a mother you can imagine, life is stressful. I dont know what to do. I know my family want me to stay medicated and I know my doctor does also but my therapist challenges the diagnosis of bipolar so she says I should try without meds and see what happens. My therapist says i am just stressed and that with whats happened over the last two years its no wounder I went a bit off the rails, my doctor says he would stand on his head if that would mean I would trust that his diagnosis is right, also had two other docs confirm his diagnosis. So what do I do, I feel like sometimes I want to risk it and see what happens and other times I am scared because what I went through last year was scarey and I wouldnt want to go through that again. Sorry not sure what im asking maybe just needed to say what im thinking.

[maperk]

Change one or both of your people if they cannot agree, and don't give up on meds. It takes a lot of trial and error before finding the right medication. It took me over two years.

[hell1971]

Hey zzzmykids yes hes a pdoc and he treats lots of Bipolar patients, so I trust him more.

[zzzmykids]

Dear Hell,
You didn't say whether your doc is a gp or a pdoc.  If doc, get pdoc, now!!!!  Doc's think they can treat mental disorders.  Your therapist has more knowledge in it But she can't prescribe meds nor does she have the qualifications a psych has.  I have been there with a trusted gp, landed in the hospital for a week and I trusted him and he meant no harm. So even if you trust him/her get a psychiatrist NOW.
zzzmykids

[P_DeV_7]

hi there,  hope u dnt mind me leaving u this mssage as i dnt suffer frm bipolar, well so my doc says ive sufferered deep depression frm i was 18 now im 37, i never lev my home dnt wana bother with any 1 av lost my m8's over being this way i sit in my p.j's morning noon an nite en outa the blue i wana get dressed up an do something but thats really just outta the blue ive lovely kids an luv em all with all my heart but didnt stop me in the past frm trying 2 end everything, i have never spoken 2 any 1 about this cnt belive im on here texing is now i really,really cant, miricales will never cease ey, r just mybe i needed 2 come across is website an c yr message i guess just like yr self i feel lost, r mybe we just need a stranger who mite just become a friend 2 talk 2 about how we feel en part of u will b found again who knows ey, ive a few illness an am fed up with it all, but they say theres always sum 1 worse of than yr self an needs more help r just ear 2 listen an not judge us, anyways i just wanted 2 say 2 u i think u r very very brave an need 2 giv yr self more credit 4 trying so hard with wat u have bin threw with yr daughter an all & i will surly keep u in my thoughts an prayers & as ILADVOVATE said they shud b both working 2 gether 2 help u im no doc but if it were me i wud stick with wat my doc as in mind i think & ats just me that yr g.p thinks more of  u more than just a patient wer as sum other high up pro's wer not em all but wer just a number 2 em, part of there big wage packet but thats just me an my veiw i hope u figure out wats best 4 u & it works 4 ya mybe they could try a different drug  an ats all it will take but im no doc, yr story touched me & i just wanted 2 let u know yr not alone i wish 2 god they would diagoise me with something instead of just keep trying me on different meds an telling me ive been threw a lot it takes time an ur suffering very deep deppression  & an bad nerves ya get fed up hearing it i would just like 4 them 2 b able 2 say right this is wats wrong with ya then mybe id get sum wer, well all the best of luck 2 u & yr family i hope everything works out 4 ya soon take care & god bless

[hell1971]

Hey ILADVOCATE I like both my doc and therapist, I guess I trust my doctor more but I have known him longer. im so confused right now, i just want to go back to the way I was even if I did have mood swings before the diagnosis I just went with them, I cant seem to do that now, I feel like the shell of my prior self, self monitoring, reminded everytime I take my pills im sick. I miss the big highs even if I had the depression afterwards they were sort of who I was, I guess I just feel a little lost.

[ILADVOCATE]

I have experienced this all my life and its just a matter of finding the right medication that is the most effective and that you can tolerate the side effects of. For me it still continues. If you are unsatisfied with your doctor or therapist you could change and they certainly should work together regardless.

[hell1971]

also forgot to say I am apparently ultradian rapid cycling if thats the right term with mixed episodes, my doctor said it has been quite resistant. my therapist says my skimer from events in my childhood have been triggerred and caused me to have a breakdown as we have been fighting for a diagnosis for my nine year old for years and its just all come to ahead. I said I needed them both on the same page and they did chat and my doc is furious that the therapist is not conforming but she is as stubborn as he is about diagnosing me and Im just left in the middle getting two different points of view all the time.